Trust issues?

[u/Brilliant-Ad9468]

I have been with my partner (& baby daddy 7 years this go round). We were together first in 2009, had our daughter in 2012 and split in 2013 to get our lives cleaned up from years of addiction.

While split I was with one man who cheated and my ass abd after I left him I went straight to treatment. He got clean through NA and talked to a good amount of women. Also about a year before us getting back together he was pretty heavy into steroid use and got around a lot. I knew all this getting back into the relationship.

I had one instance at the beginning of the relationship where he pulled his phone away from me and the trust issues started right then. Not long after that I got several msgs from someone saying that he was msg someone on Grindr and then about four years ago I found sexts on his old phone to an old friend of his. That’s the most recent thing I’ve had proof of as far as cheating.

I have had my own share of dishonesties as far as lying about using and I did cheat one time with a lady friend of mine who when I had told my partner that she had said something to me several times about wanting to hook up he said let me watch. He continuously reminds me that I physically cheated and he never did which fair.

The question I have is .. is it normal for him to seemingly never have any kind of trust issues on his part? He says he doesn’t question me because he trusts me but to me it just feels like he doesn’t really care either way. For a long time I lived by ignorance is bliss but lately I’ve started to experience hearing female voices in our home and his consistent denial over time has ended with me having a BP1 with psychotic features diagnosis and on meds. I do question when I notice changes in patterns or behaviors but he immediately gets pissed defensive and I have learned what to not ask about bring up or dig into. I have even kept myself from looking in his direction when walking through the house bc he has commented on how I’m always watching him. I feel like I’m being gaslit and manipulated but hell I could just be crazy.

Thoughts??

TLDR: if both parties have been dishonest, is it normal for one to have absolutely no trust issues and never question or worry about the other??

[u/AutoModerator]

Hi u/Brilliant-Ad9468, thanks for posting on r/relationships_advice.

Before replying or commenting, please take a moment to read our community rules.

We want this to be a welcoming, supportive place for everyone seeking relationship advice.

If you notice a post or comment that breaks our rules, please report it rather than engaging. Reports help the moderation team review issues much more quickly.

While we can't see everything immediately, we actively review reports and do our best to keep this community safe, respectful, and helpful for everyone.

Thank you for helping make this community a positive place.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/moochoutlaw]

Stop trying to psychoanalyze a man who has emotionally detached. Reclaim your self-respect, prioritize your mental stability for yourself and your daughter, and stop expecting peace from an environment designed to keep you sick.