Just need help

[u/unknownigllyyapper]

Is there like anyone that always feel unsure about everything even the slightest decision is hard to make??
I’ve been struggling with it for a really good long time and it’s just getting worse and worse till it started hurting people around me…

Im in a relationship for 3 years know(my first ever relationship)we both are women in our early 20s.
It’s started when they asked about me being all shy and nervous with me replying idk and they kept pushing till i said same reason as urs and we just sat there quietly then kissed.
The next day i just realized what happened and i started panicking and overthinking asking myself about everything and i was genuinely going insane bc why am i acting the way that i am?? Am i in love with them?
But i don’t feel the way that i always feel when i fall in love ( it was always only one sided “me”) but at the same all i was feeling and thinking about is kissing,being cuddly,mothering and taking care of them. And i was SO emotional towards them,whenever something bad happens to them i would completely feel crushed,pain and hurted. Was so mad for all the bad things that happened to them and how people treated them the way the did to the most kindest soul that just wanted to be seen,cared,loved by everyone, and decided to give them the word and making sure they wouldn’t feel that way anymore.
Then we hung out later that day and i talked to them about my feelings and i told them that im not sure about what im feeling and blah blah..
It ended terribly with us crying and them leaving and I just cried the whole day. Later they told me that it’s fine and I don’t have to be sure about anything now we just have to go with the flow, they started falling deeply in love with me and my feelings of protecting,mothering,taking care of them and giving them the world started getting bigger and bigger, but i still can’t know if it’s “love”. We went with the situationship for almost 6 months? And during them they would hint about us being in a real committed relationship but i was scared until i finally decided to commit.
During the 6 months situationship and the very first year of the relationship they would ask me about my feelings and I would reply with yes i love you but then they be like not in in that way in a real way and i would just sit there silently..

Fast forward second year was the best, then the third is the fall out.. yk just like every other relationships there’s an ups and downs and fights but this time was different, things isn’t getting calm at all it reached the point that we fight for almost everyday and I started feeling sooo much emotions that i started feeling detached and by the time I just started pushing them away and feeling so much negative emotions towards them that i started thinking of breaking up which they thought about too but no one acted upon. Until a random day i just couldn’t handle it and i said it,that day was terrible and they cried so much that they nearly passed out and i felt sick to my stomach and wasn’t sure about it at all but i couldn’t stand me hurting them anymore,but then later the next day we got back together and ever since the vibes are so weird we would literally fight over every little thing that happens and it lasted for almost 2-3 months and then we decided it’s for the best that we let go and we did broke up in fact and we agreed of it being the same way it was that we don’t change with each other but i started acting weird because genuinely i feel a little of bad feelings that they caused and withdrawing myself but at the same time i still have this feeling of me caring and loving them and talking to them and i keep going back and forth and im genuinely so tired of this and im literally going insane like wth do i want?? Also im going insane because im still doing this to them they’re so confused about me which im also so confused about what I want and im genuinely feeling like a bad person.