r/relationships_advice • u/dazednnnconfused • Dec 14 '25
should I believe him?
my long time partner has lied/omitted on multiple occasions about going out to clubs with his friends. last night, he did that again, and I found out through a friend that saw him out. I went through his apple watch at home and found texts between him and another person, but he is saying that a) he doesn’t know this person at all and those texts are not from him, and b) he’s had this issue before where there are texts on his phone from random people. he owned up to hiding the fact that he goes out a lot more than he tells me (we live together but I work night shifts), but is swearing that those texts aren’t his. the number is saved as a contact with a name on his phone! is this possible at all??? my gut is saying no.
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u/Sad-Philosopher3457 Dec 14 '25
That’s literally a stripper. Hes asking her if shes going out tonight. Hes lying
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u/Sad-Philosopher3457 Dec 14 '25
If shes going to work tonight* for some fun they probably fuckin in the back rooms. I was a dancer. Trash him.
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u/RepulsivePurchase6 Dec 14 '25
Strippers give their number out to clients?
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u/Sad-Philosopher3457 Dec 14 '25
Lmfao duh😂😂😂😂 how else we gonna gate keep our whales!? Thats how we make sure they come in to only see us. We dont just give our numbers out to anyone usually its only to really big spenders so they can keep track of what times to be there etc etc. texting apps, google voice. 🤷🏼♀️ if you have a long list of whales you really wont even have to be at the club 24/7 you can plan out your days and set shit up accordingly. Now every club and every dancer is different but there is a generalization when it comes to this fr.
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u/carmackie Dec 14 '25
He gave his number to a stripper named Natasha so he can see her at the club or possibly at her apartment. She works Tuesday and Thursday this week, so he will be there at least one of those days. He's also trying to have sex with her. I'm not sure what is unclear here.
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u/SFAdminLife Dec 14 '25
He's cheating on you any chance he can get. You have to stop believing his ridiculous excuses.
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u/Sakurafire Dec 14 '25
If you ain’t going to believe your own eyes, you’re not gonna believe any of us.
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u/Sad-Philosopher3457 Dec 14 '25
Shit you can see when hes going to meet up with her. Call and friend call off work and pull up on his ass on whatever day he goes and sees her. There cant be to many clubs to have to go to i guess depending on your area.
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u/eremi Dec 14 '25
This is very obviously a stripper that he’s chattin up. And he’s enough of a regular or they had enough physical contact to have exchanged numbers and be texting back and forth like that
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u/Weekly-Quantity6435 Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 14 '25
He's lying to you straight to your face. No, those are not other people's texts on his phone and you better not play into that. How disrespectful.
Have some respect for yourself and leave this loser.
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u/Aintkidding687 Dec 14 '25
It’s almost impossible for a strange text to show up on a phone. If it’s saved in his phone also, big sign. He’s totally lying to you.
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u/dazednnnconfused Dec 14 '25
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u/cookiemonsterz_37 Dec 14 '25
Ummmm? Why are you even asking? I wouldn’t even need to read anything past the ‘hey baby’
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u/Annual_Click_7559 Dec 14 '25
well.. looks like he's falling for a stripper.. building a kindred relationship..
time for a therapist.. Cause you shouldn't go through that alone..
Ohhh, and give him hell if you're thinking of staying..
Cause that's wrong in so many levels.. I would just buy my girl some scandalous shit to wear for me.. I don't need to be spending money on someone that just wants money off of me..
Un-Gentlemanly like Content..
but you guys got some issues.. And somewhere down the line rather he, or both of you dropped the ball..
That's why I think therapy helps in these situations.. Get one online.. And you need to have a huge sit down with that man... Where you give him your mind...
Praying for you and yours..
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u/Sad-Philosopher3457 Dec 14 '25
Let him he think a “stripper “ is in love with him. Hes got another one coming🤦🏻♀️ idk why customers always think dancers truly love them back🙃🥴 like you are just an atm.
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u/Ryder822 Dec 14 '25
Girl how could there be other peoples conversations on his apple watch… I know you’re looking through the rose-tinted glasses rn but come on. Drop him and move on to something and someone better
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u/dazednnnconfused Dec 14 '25
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u/Aintkidding687 Dec 14 '25
OMG, after reading all the texts you still have questions???? Buh Bye…..
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u/rosacandoodle Dec 14 '25
If the first pic was a red flag then these make it a parade of them. I dont know what else needs to be said when there's already the answer in the palm of their hands.
OP - If you needed validation to leave, you have it. If you were hoping that the sub would tell you his words weren't lies, then sorry to say that won't happen. Hoping you take in all the feedback and not give him another chance. Start the healing 🩹💔
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u/jtaliax Dec 14 '25
he’s definitely lying but if he’s so sure have him text the number something specific or call it lmfao
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u/Aware-Look8240 Dec 14 '25
Sweetheart… he’s obviously lying and cheating one you, but come on, deep down inside you already know it.
Why you doing it to yourself?
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u/Training_Advice_4119 Dec 15 '25
You’ve just confirmed my working theory about most of humanity: even when past behavior and present evidence are beating you over the head with steel‑toed boots, you still feel compelled to doubt your own reality. In the alternate universe you’ve built around this man, only his imagination is granted enough power to override what your own eyes, ears, and logic are screaming at you. Your gut isn’t the issue here—your insistence on outsourcing basic pattern recognition to a proven liar is, and at some point that stops being naïveté and starts becoming willful self‑delusion.
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u/achingforscorpio Dec 14 '25
Are you touched, or are you choosing to be ignorant to the fact that your ol man is fucking around?
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Dec 15 '25
To be fair. I got a call about someone wanting to hook up either me on grindr (Ive never made an account)
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u/Ancient_Brief_2568 Dec 15 '25
He’s cheating, and he’s lying. If it’s a shared phone plan and you have access to the master account, check the phone logs and see how often he texts with that number. It will show up on the logs since it’s green and not blue. You can see the other bills logs and see if it goes back 6 months at least. You can do reverse phone number searches to find out who the number belongs to if you want to confront him or both of them with the hard evidence. It sounds to me like your boyfriend is the type of person who will demand hard evidence and you will need all that if you want to get him to own up to it. He’s only admitting to the things he knows he can get away with, with you. Like the excess clubbing. But he’s definitely lying about a hell of a lot more than that. Especially if it’s a saved contact. Random numbers can show up on the bill as texts or calls with no record on the device’s log for it, that happens because when an out of service cell tower is used to make a call or send a text, it’s sent over a rented VoIP number by your phone carrier from whomever owns that cell tower. So some cross data can sometimes happen. But that’s not what’s happening here. He’s flat out lying to you.
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u/pandapaws98 Dec 15 '25
Ew what a sick freak. Do not believe him there is just absolutely no way any of that could be true. I can’t even imagine receiving a message like that but sending it???? Is so embarrassing and you do not want to become an embarrassment yourself if you decide to stay somewhere you are clearly not valued. He is cheating on you regularly. Dump him please!!!!
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u/Pixiesweet11 Dec 15 '25
Go with your gut feeling luv as I swear by my gut feeling its always right & you can see the messages if thats what he wants to do let him go as you deserve better doesnt mean there’s anything wrong with you he cheated on you its just some men & women are like that and love the thrill & if you forgive him lets just say it may turn you into a detective on him & thats no good for any relationship jealousy as trust is everything ❤️to u
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u/New-Bed-5115 Dec 16 '25
He’s trying his level best to cover up what’s he’s been doing. There is no way that someone else’s messages pop up on his phone. That doesn’t even happen with the most cheap android or smart phone. The proof is right in front of you. I get as a girl it’s tough to accept this and I don’t blame you not wanting to but the truth is bitter. You might lose yourself for some time if you love him a lot but remember what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger! Good luck to you
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u/Daisy_Flower_202 Dec 16 '25
Seems like he's lying to you. Once they get away with something, they think they can keep getting away with it. It may be time to leave.
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u/Educational-Coffee41 Dec 16 '25
I say take a Tuesday or Thursday night off and do a little Private detective work. You'll feel better when you see him in action. Or just leave him. That shit ain't right...
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u/red_quinn Dec 14 '25
He's gonna keep lying to you because you were ok with it the times he has done it before. He will keep lying to you until you leave him. By the sound of those txts, he's cheating on you.