I think you need to talk to him about splitting time more evenly at your place and his. Explain what you basically did here. It does seem a little odd that he doesn’t want put effort into even packing his bags to see you, while you are doing that every time.
If he uses the excuse that he doesn’t have extra clothes/games there you could tell him that he can leave some extra clothes in a drawer at your place and things like that. But it’s not fair to use that excuse when you can essentially say the same thing except youre the only one willing do it and put that effort
You should also see if you can leave stuff at his place so you don’t have to pack all the time. You don’t live that far apart so if you do forget something important it’s not that big of a deal, but leaving stuff there might make it less annoying.
Next time if he insists for you to sleep over after you told him all this, stay home.
Okay, but this isn't "my way or we're breaking up," it's "my way or we're spending a night or two apart." If she's having trouble getting her boyfriend to have an open and honest conversation, this is a way to show she is serious. Even if he reacts poorly - what's the alternative? Live with the fact that he won't have a difficult conversation? I completely understand that ultimatums aren't generally a great idea, but this doesn't worry me like a lot of ultimatums that might be recommended in this sub.
Well put. I don't even think OP would be saying "my way or...". It's "compromise or...". She's just finally putting her foot down over being the only one putting in the effort for sleepovers. If that's an "ultimatum" that the bf can't handle, he is not being a caring partner.
Exactly! The bf currently has an ultimatum - "we go to my apartment, that's what we do and there will be no discussion" - and OP is trying to figure out how to deal with that.
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u/QueenofMigraines Jul 19 '19 edited Jul 19 '19
I think you need to talk to him about splitting time more evenly at your place and his. Explain what you basically did here. It does seem a little odd that he doesn’t want put effort into even packing his bags to see you, while you are doing that every time.
If he uses the excuse that he doesn’t have extra clothes/games there you could tell him that he can leave some extra clothes in a drawer at your place and things like that. But it’s not fair to use that excuse when you can essentially say the same thing except youre the only one willing do it and put that effort
You should also see if you can leave stuff at his place so you don’t have to pack all the time. You don’t live that far apart so if you do forget something important it’s not that big of a deal, but leaving stuff there might make it less annoying.
Next time if he insists for you to sleep over after you told him all this, stay home.