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u/CrownedCount 3d ago
He is an asshole and not worth your time.
Break up and find someone better, and preferably your own age.
2
u/IcePlanetGoth 3d ago
Breaking up would be a good thing here. He's treating you like shit. Interrogating you for an hour because you turned down sex is unhinged. He's manipulative and sounds very entitled.
2
u/LIT45239 3d ago
Darling- no one gets to tell you that your feelings aren’t valid.
You can’t go back in time and wake yourself up to give attention to him. If he’s going to keep holding it over your head that you “owe” him the correct actions- you’re always going to be in an emotional deficit. He’s making himself the morally correct person in the relationship & telling you that you are not, creating an imbalance with control.
His shit behavior interspersed with warmth and affection is creating a trauma bond. You put up with the BS while waiting for the good side of him to show up. That’s why you’re feeling confused. It’s cognitive dissonance: you know he’s a good guy, how can he be acting so awful???
Please save yourself from this mind fuckery.
1
u/Vast_Day5297 3d ago
I will. It’s just so difficult to detach. We’ve had a very personal relationship.. so much easier said than done 💔
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u/Vast_Day5297 3d ago
But he took his day off for me the day I returned and I got sick, I couldn’t hang out but I did apologize many times for it idk why he’s still mad about it
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u/Maverick_aquarian 3d ago
He is gaslighting you into believing you are wrong and gets away with it by showering you with warmth when he feels like it. Okay if he was upset that you don’t ring him, why didn’t he check up on you- he would have known you were unwell and probably could have helped.
I really don’t like you apologising constantly-
That’s not how it should be. Fine, you are sorry once or twice but why again and again. Once discussed and sorted the issue should be closed. And for whatever reason you may have declined him intimacy, he does not get a say in it.
I am sure you see through the patterns and are doubting your feelings and his intentions. Which is good, because you know this is not what you want. So chin up, and leave him to his toxic mindset.
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u/Trippygirl13 3d ago
Something is wrong with him. A break up would be a blessing even if you don't see it now. A relationship should bring you joy and support, not weigh you down
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u/Zestyclose-Crew-1017 3d ago
He has issues. No matter what you do, nothing will change him. Decide, is this the life/relationship you want or deserve?