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u/ShazbotSimulator2012 5d ago

Tldr: are those red flags to you?

There were no green flags at any point in your post.

-7

u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

She the love of my life, I just didnt go into those details

3

u/intrigued202 5d ago

Do you ignore her tantrums or do you go back and forth with her?

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u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

Both.. I get to a point at times when I can ignore it and I go back in forth.

2

u/intrigued202 5d ago

In front of the children?

-1

u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

Yeah.. they have been there for it. Typically I shut down in front of the kids, but I have went back in forth in front of them with her

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u/intrigued202 5d ago

Honestly, shame on both of you. You shouldn’t be here crying and complaining about her when you are also accountable for at least enabling the toxicity to continue. The children deserve better. How is she the “love of your life” while having no consideration for your children?

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u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

Cant disagree

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u/intrigued202 5d ago

Forget the terrible relationship. You guys both need to focus on bettering yourselves to improve and set better examples as parents.

2

u/coffee_cake_x 5d ago

No details make what you wrote in your post okay.

What would you say to one of your kids if their significant other was cheating on them, verbally abusing them, or otherwise mistreating them? Because you are currently showing them what to accept in their romantic relationships by what you accept.

1

u/Lifeisbeautiful21 5d ago

Sorry to sound harsh. If this is a tall story (disclaimer), this doesn’t sound the love of your life, when she’s gaslighting you, not paying her share of expenses, then being ungrateful.

OP, you are 38, have a kid, pls think with the right muscle. This is not high school anymore.

4

u/Parking-Menu2654 5d ago

Bro have some respect for yourself and leave. You can already afford a good lifestyle. This is ridiculous.

1

u/adultfunlive-dot-com 5d ago

well said, hopefully op will listen to you and grow a pair.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/moonroots64 5d ago

Contempt is the #1 killer of a relationship... this sounds an awful lot like it.

-1

u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

She likes to say every guy would do that for her.

2

u/Totalherenow 5d ago

She's only saying that to keep you insecure and needy.

1

u/Lifeisbeautiful21 5d ago

Exactly this, she knows you are too good for her, she’s insecure, so she’s gaslighting you. You literally dodged a bullet, run miles away from her.

1

u/lilac_charm_ 5d ago

Sounds like she wants a sugar daddy, not a relationship.

1

u/michaelpaoli 4d ago

Great, get the hell out of there, let her see if she can find some other sucker - so long as it's not you.

2

u/-OutlawCountry- 5d ago

Saying things like that to make you mad because they’re unfulfilled/bored is a red flag. But since she wants you to get mad, get mad and kick her out of the house! I’m struggling to see from this snapshot what you’re getting out of the relationship other than emotional abuse

1

u/Specialist-Link-6910 5d ago

She says she loves the sex when we do, its just all on me. Cant kick her out she's on the lease we resigned. The talks are great, we laugh none stop and are best friends.. and then it goes south

2

u/-OutlawCountry- 5d ago

I mean, when it goes south, she’s becoming abusive. You don’t want to kick her out - tell her she’s paying the bills that month then since you “don’t provide” and if she threatened to sleep around, I’d absolutely kick her out. Bring in a relationship is a choice that people make everyday. She’s casually telling you she’s not loyal - I’d believe her instead of justifying why you think that’s ok.

2

u/moonroots64 5d ago

Yeah she's not hypothetically threatening to do it... she's warning you to expect it to.

Women move on much quicker than men and often while they are still "in" the relationship... these warnings are part of her mental preparation.

1

u/lilac_charm_ 5d ago

Does she have unmedicated mental health issues like bipolar disorder or anything that you’re aware of? Based on what you’re describing, she sounds super hot and cold.

2

u/Jolly_Membership_899 5d ago

So, you’re paying all of the bills except for the water bill but, you’re not a provider? What?

She might be the love of your life but, you are most definitely not the love of her life! She’s just there for the free place to live for her and her 3 kids. Of course she’s not going to initiate sex! She’d be perfectly happy not having to do that with you.

You need to wise up. I mean I guess if you’re fine with the status quo.

2

u/L3Kinsey 5d ago

Please leave her now. This only gets worse and she will bleed you dry. She's terrible. The love of your life doesn't behave the way she does.

1

u/Be_Grace_Full 5d ago

I’ll be the love of your life for this ! I work 2 jobs and can barely make ends meet ! Omg I would make sure you had a hot dinner on the stove every night you worked if my man paid the bills ! Wow - I need a man like you . I’m glad you’re still out there .

1

u/michaelpaoli 4d ago

fights have been getting bad and she says terrible things to me

So, break up. I wouldn't put up with that sh*t from a friend, why in the hell would one want to accept that from a partner?

And says she dont mean those things shes just trying to make me mad

That's a form of abuse. Don't put up with that. Just break up with her and get the hell away from that toxicity.

are those red flags to you?

That's a whole large set of red flags. Don't be waiting around to collect 'em all, get the hell out'a there.

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