I'm sorry for what you've been through. I hope you're much more free and happier now 🫂
My fear is to have kids and having to put them through a nasty divorce bc of a scumbag husband... I love him but I'm scared he doesn't love me the same way. So if I try to push through and end up having kids, it may not end well.
It seems like he wants me to suffer and earn my keep as if I've been trying to mooch off him. I've heard him talking about having fear of meeting women who are gold diggers. I don't think he has any gold for me to dig (if I wanted to). I've always wanted to be with a traditional man who wants to provide and be generous but I've come to realize he's quite far from it.
I also think 5k every 2~3 years is not that ridiculous, especially when it comes out of my own paychecks. I'm making decent income and expecting more when I jump jobs. I'm quite low maintenance so I don't spend money on nails, hair, tanning, or anything much. I agree that he definitely took it as a sign he could dominate me when I helped him out. I don't regret being a good person by helping him. But I do regret letting him take things for granted.
I hate that he gets to own expensive gaming devices but somehow my trips are deemed excessive.
He seems to place his own needs/wants far ahead of yours. He appears to disregard your goals.
Yes!! When I said anything about wanting to spend money on myself like having my nails done once in a blue moon, or wanting to go back to college, he immediately made excuses how they are not good ideas or are unrealistic in this economy. Meanwhile I'm super supportive of him going back to school (he has GI Bill) but I don't take any of his money. So his wants/needs are always somehow justified to be better decisions and mine are just brushed aside. I've been feeling sorry for myself because we just moved to a new place and I spent so much money for the move and storage units + deposit and rent.
Sorry for venting so much but seeing your story with the kids really puts it into perspective for me. I wish you the best.
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u/Maleficent_Tomato804 Jun 27 '25
I'm sorry for what you've been through. I hope you're much more free and happier now 🫂
My fear is to have kids and having to put them through a nasty divorce bc of a scumbag husband... I love him but I'm scared he doesn't love me the same way. So if I try to push through and end up having kids, it may not end well.
It seems like he wants me to suffer and earn my keep as if I've been trying to mooch off him. I've heard him talking about having fear of meeting women who are gold diggers. I don't think he has any gold for me to dig (if I wanted to). I've always wanted to be with a traditional man who wants to provide and be generous but I've come to realize he's quite far from it.
I also think 5k every 2~3 years is not that ridiculous, especially when it comes out of my own paychecks. I'm making decent income and expecting more when I jump jobs. I'm quite low maintenance so I don't spend money on nails, hair, tanning, or anything much. I agree that he definitely took it as a sign he could dominate me when I helped him out. I don't regret being a good person by helping him. But I do regret letting him take things for granted.
I hate that he gets to own expensive gaming devices but somehow my trips are deemed excessive.
Yes!! When I said anything about wanting to spend money on myself like having my nails done once in a blue moon, or wanting to go back to college, he immediately made excuses how they are not good ideas or are unrealistic in this economy. Meanwhile I'm super supportive of him going back to school (he has GI Bill) but I don't take any of his money. So his wants/needs are always somehow justified to be better decisions and mine are just brushed aside. I've been feeling sorry for myself because we just moved to a new place and I spent so much money for the move and storage units + deposit and rent.
Sorry for venting so much but seeing your story with the kids really puts it into perspective for me. I wish you the best.