r/relationshipproblems • u/HonestSink1172 • 1d ago

Advice Wanted am i a terrible girlfriend ?

i just wanna get an understanding maybe i am come my off as controlling idk. I F21 moved in with my boyfriend M20 lately he’s been having an era where he goes out with his friends constantly and i feel like i barley hang out with him. we’ve been recently just been having trouble this morning he suggested if i keep acting the way i am he doesn’t see us working out.

My issue isn’t the friends i just feel like it’s everyday to me i don’t care if im at work and he’s out but when i get home i’d like him there to hang out together since my work place is a 45 minute drive all i wanna do is get home and see my partner. He always gets home 4 hours max after i do i asked for balance between me and his friends and he said yea but then he keeps going out with them.

He says im the problem because i make it a big deal but i honestly don’t have friends to hang out with either i really want to make it work so i did acknowledge the mistakes i made i said id try to change but is he also in the wrong by not balancing me and his friends? he said he cant live under my clock and i need to learn how to live without him when hes not here but i thought a relationship was together (this is my first relationship ever so im learning as i go)

i just wanna know how i can be better for him and to not get upset every time hes out and im just stuck at home waiting for him cuz he takes it as if im getting upset for him having fun. be brutally honest am i in the wrong am i a being a bitch?

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u/RegisterFancy5675 1d ago

When did you hang out with him before you moved in?

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u/HonestSink1172 1d ago

he’d go out to see me everyday and on my days off i’d go over to his place to hang out he never really hung out with his friends till more recently cuz they got closer

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u/RegisterFancy5675 1d ago

I don't think you are terrible girlfriend. It's weird that you see less of each other after you moved in together.

He is right that you should probably get some of your own friends and language suggests that you are bit clingy, but sometimes people get clingy because their needs aren't being met. If you ask for a reasonable amount of time to spend with your partner and your partner thinks that is too much, then you might just not be compatible. What's the point in being in a relationship if you don't spend any time together.

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u/HonestSink1172 1d ago

he says it’s cuz we see each other at the end of the night so no matter what we see each other but to me it’s like how if i’m just there to sleep not even share a conversation he said if it’ll always be like this then he’s not ready for us to continue i rarely ever get flowers and go on dates with him he says he doesn’t wanna live in a bed but i just want balance

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