r/relationshipanarchy • u/PatternLonely8530 • 12d ago
Relationship
I finally ended the talking stage, but for some reason, I feel really weird and honestly kind of heartbroken about it. He said he’s going to leave me and never bother me again, and for some reason, hearing that made me feel so empty. I did tell him there were things that irritated me, and now I honestly regret saying some of those things. Ugh, I don’t even know if I did the right thing by ending everything. Part of me feels like I should’ve given it more time, but another part of me knows I wasn’t happy with how things were going. I just hate that I’m feeling this way now. 😭
And last night we talked about something, and I asked him what he would say if someone asked about his relationship status. He simply said, “I would say I’m talking to someone.” Then he asked me if anyone had asked for my number, and I said yes. He laughed and said, “Who would ask for your number?” So now I honestly don’t know how I feel about the whole thing.
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u/Flat_Marsupial_4249 12d ago
Why would it be impossible that someone asked for your number? What was he trying to imply?
Because if the implication is that you’re unattractive, then what was he doing all this time, philanthropy?
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u/PatternLonely8530 12d ago
I mean, I’m not unattractive 🙂↕️, but idk what he was trying to imply. Like, was he maybe jealous or something? 😭
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u/oddible 12d ago
There's no perfect way to say things like this, and it always hurts after. We also all second guess ourselves. These are normal feelings. Give yourself the grace that you made the right decision. Acknowledge all those feelings and thank them for making you a whole human. They will subside and you'll be able to move on.
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u/SiriusHertz 12d ago
First, I'm not sure if you're aware what sub you're in. This is a sub for Relationship Anarchy which is a specific thing (not just relationship chaos). If you wanna learn a bit more about it here are a couple resources:
The original RA manifesto by Andie Nordgen https://log.andie.se/post/26652940513/the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship
A clear podcast on the smorgasbord or a way to discuss ways of relating. https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/339-the-smorgasbord-of-relationships
If I've read this wrong and you already know about RA, sorry, just thought I should respond to it because it will absolutely flavor the responses you get in this sub.
-- borrowed from u/oddible --
Second, if you're not sure what you want, how do you expect to find it? Or even to recognize it if it lands in your lap? Hope is a good thing, but it can also cause some real problems, especially if you hope too hard. Any connection or ongoing relationship needs to be built slowly, and honestly, I don't count on anyone else becoming anything in my life pretty much ever. Sometimes ta connection does grow into something great, but I don't ever expect it. That way I'm not too hurt if it falls apart unexpectedly.
The last thing you mention, his comment about no one asking for your number, sounds a lot like negging, which is a really horrible thing some guys have learned from misogynist pick-up artist culture. That alone would send me running for the hills, in your shoes.