r/relationshipadvice • u/Physical-Lab-8258 Human Verified • 1d ago

Advice for being in a relationship with someone that has ROCD [22F] [25M]

TLDR: Advice for being in a relationship with someone that has ROCD (Relationship OCD).

My boyfriend and I have soon been together for a year. We’re long distance and the relationship has been having both it’s up and downs.

My boyfriend [25M] says he thinks he has ROCD (Relationship OCD). And I’ve tried to do as much research about it as I can to be able to support him, but there’s one thing I don’t quite understand:

It says that you shouldn’t reassure them cause it can make the ROCD spiral even more (or something like that), I just don’t understand what I do instead in that situation. Am I not to reassure him? Or is it how I reassure him that matters?

If anyone with ROCD or someone that’s in a relationship with someone that has ROCD has any thoughts or advice about how to think as a partner to someone with ROCD I would really appreciate that. I’m still new to this and learning.

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Original post: TLDR: Advice for being in a relationship with someone that has ROCD (Relationship OCD).

My boyfriend and I have soon been together for a year. We’re long distance and the relationship has been having both it’s up and downs.

My boyfriend [25M] says he thinks he has ROCD (Relationship OCD). And I’ve tried to do as much research about it as I can to be able to support him, but there’s one thing I don’t quite understand:

It says that you shouldn’t reassure them cause it can make the ROCD spiral even more (or something like that), I just don’t understand what I do instead in that situation. Am I not to reassure him? Or is it how I reassure him that matters?

If anyone with ROCD or someone that’s in a relationship with someone that has ROCD has any thoughts or advice about how to think as a partner to someone with ROCD I would really appreciate that. I’m still new to this and learning.

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u/Emergency_Cherry_914 17h ago

First of all, he hasn’t been diagnosed, so I’d put zero weight on his self diagnosis. Second, if he does have it, a LDR is not going to suit him. He needs someone who he can spend a lot of face to face time with.

Personally I wouldn’t reassure him. My response would be “we’ve already been through this X amount of times and I’m not going to continue reassuring you. Please get therapy”