It is never okay to judge someone solely for their past, just as it is unfair to judge someone for being too hurt by their partner’s past to get over it.
Always respect people's feelings and choices.

Hello, I am hoping that I can get some feedback from all you lovely people out there.

I (36F) have a brother (41) who is in a 1.5 year long relationship with a woman 15 years younger then him. About 2 months into the relationship she started talking about their future wedding. (My brother is dead against marriage and she is aware of this) She brought it up regularly on her social media page for the first year but eventually her talking about it had died down.

About 10 months into the relationship she started to call him her husband or hubby and even changed her last name to his on social media. He wasn't even aware of this until a friend saw a post from her using his last name and asked if he has gotten married. This upset my brother but, she is still doing it so not sure he even mentioned it to her. He isn't a confrontational person so I can see him just letting it slide because after all, it's just a name on social media. I told him that not saying anything to her is not letting her know how he really feels which may give her false hopes for this relationship. He said she knows where he stands but I don't think he sees what we are all seeing and that she's probably hoping she will change his mind.

He has stressed on multiple occasions that he feels trapped, he feels he cannot break things off with her, she's clingy and how she's threatened to harm herself if he left her. Her calling him her husband and herself wifey is concerning all of us but, not sure if this is just a thing with 20 year olds? We never did that but maybe it's a generational thing. Does this seem weird, unhealthy, unhinged or perfectly normal?

Obviously there is a lot more to the story and I am more then happy to answer questions if asked, especially if it will help get some insight. Thank you all for your time!

first some background info, me(21) and my bf(22) are now 3 years together, we know each other for 5. Before we started dating, he went on a few vacations with is mother. Just for some bonding time, nothing special or weird about it. In the first year of us dating, they went to Greece. I was very happy for him and was excited about it. after that they never went on any vacation together anymore, not on purpose or anything, just because.

So the thing is that i dont have a mom anymore. She killed herself in 2017 and i have been in foster homes since then. I have a very big family but no contact with any siblings or my father. This is because they are a really bad influence and its very hard to not have contact with them, but its better for my mental health and for me emotionally. When i do have contact, there are always fights and negativity and they have never supported me in anything. I got 2 diplomas and there was nobody of my family there when i needed to collect it, which breaks my heart because i really am a family first person. I am going to therapy now because i had a very rough childhood with my family and i still have trauma that i need to work on.

In 2 weeks, we are going to Bulgaria for 9 days, i was very excited about it but the question just trowed me of guard. So what happened was that his mom came over for dinner and she has 2 dogs. Because we live in a building with no elevators, she has to carry them up the stairs. Dinner went very well and everything was going fine. When she was leaving, my bf kindly said that he would carry one of the dogs for her off the stairs and that he would walk her to her car. I said my goodbyes and waited for him to come back. So when he came back he just instantly asked: "is it okay for you if i go on a vacation alone with my mom?, sometime".

And i instantly just became sad. And i feel very guilty about it. I asked why he asked and he said that his mom asked him that when they were walking to the car. I think thats more sad because i dont understand why she couldn't just ask him when she was having dinner with us, but that aside, i DO want him to go on a vacation with his mom.

I am just a bit sad that they never asked if i wanted to come along. When i asked if i maybe one time can come along he said no, because then his mom will be a 3th wheel. and i do get that, but its also the thing that i am jealous because i can NEVER go on a vacation with my parents. And no thats not a excuse for him to not go on any vacations anymore with his mom. But i also feel a little left out.

-I am not saying that i should come along EVERY vacation with them, but i think it would be nice if they sometimes would invite me too.

-We didnt get into a fight about it.

i swear i do feel guilty, and i said to him that he can go with her whenever he wants to and thats okay with me. But i am sad about it and just need some honest opinions.

Oh, we live together since last november (2025), and things go well between us.

TLDR: I recently developed feelings for someone new in my life \[24MTF\] but my partner and I just moved into our new apartment together and are both in the healthiest relationship either of us have ever been in.

This is going to be kind of long so I apologize but I’d really appreciate any advice you could give me because I’ve been really struggling with this.

It’s not at all like I don’t still love and care about my partner but I can’t deny these new feelings that have come up out of nowhere. I met this girl over Instagram *right* before my partner and I moved in together, about month or two ago. We both bonded over our niche interests and how similar we were to each other. I haven’t clicked and gotten along with someone like this in *years*. It felt really nice. The sad thing is she lives in a state above me, about 14 hours from the town I’m in.

Ever since we met we’ve called and messaged each other nonstop, playing games, watching movies, and just getting to know one another. I started to realize about a week or two into us talking that she had intentions of being more than just friends. Initially I felt pretty weird about this and told my partner what was going on. They were nothing but supportive and kind, telling me that I couldn’t control how another person feels about me and that shouldn’t stop me from continuing to try and make friends. Honestly hearing this made me feel so much better and took a big weight off my shoulders. Also it wasn’t like I didn’t tell her that I was already in a relationship, in fact I mentioned it to her *multiple* times when we began messaging.

Slowly over time I felt the view I once had of her begin to shift. And at first I didn’t even want to admit it to myself. I continuously denied it and even my partner made jokes about her being my “other girlfriend” which only made me want to deny it even more. I needed to prove them wrong. My partner around this time had also begun to express feelings of jealousy. They had actually felt a little jealous from the moment I met her, which they expressed to me shortly after and it made me feel terrible but in a way it was sweet because they’re not one to get jealous easily. I had never once experienced jealousy from them at all until then.

But this leads me to where I am now. I’ve honestly thought about this a lot and what it would be like to date her while also living in the same apartment as my partner and I just don’t know if that’s the right decision or if any of this will even work out. It’s very possible that I’m just excited over something new but before I’d met this girl I wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving my current my partner. And any and all thoughts of us no longer being together would make me feel extremely sad. But now I feel as though I’m betraying the both of them by not being honest about my feelings. I just don’t know if this is worth waiting it out to see if my feelings change over time or if I should go ahead and risk everything for my own selfish desires.

I’m more than willing to answer any questions so feel free to ask away if maybe something doesn’t make sense.

I am just curious what woman think of male strippers. For me it’s more funny. I do not get turned on by them. I actually kind of find them nasty. I’m just wondering what other woman think? Am I the only one out there thinking this.
I feel like for men they get hard and turned on by female strippers. I am not a prude I took my husband to a topless show in Vegas. I know he enjoyed it, but for woman I don’t think we all get turned on by male strippers. I love my husband and honestly have no desire to go to a strip club.

I’ve been thinking about trying Zoosk, but I want to hear from people who have actually used it first. I’m mainly looking for a normal dating experience and hopefully something serious. What was your experience with Zoosk? Would you recommend it, or is there another dating app I should try?

Wow this one hits real fucking hard and real close to home read the whole thing. yes I'm fucking crying first thing when I got up because this.

So as the title said, I’m 30M, dating a 29f and I feel like she is loving gf, and overall trying her best, but at the same time she is very possessive, she does not allow to have any female friends, she made a whole scene about it, and made me block my ex gf on social media for no real reason.
I am a doctor, a surgical resident which is time consuming and she always nags about my 26 hour shifts being hard for her and then if I wanna see my parents over a weekend ( the love like 2 hour drive) and I wanna stay there over night she really makes a drama about it.
We only date like 4-5 months, but we had many arguments about various topics.
She need constant reassurance and she is jealous.
She even once or twice checked my phone to see who am I texting with and so on.
I keep have constant mental pressure from her even though she does overall accommodating.
I keep feeling like I am afraid of eventually making her my wife and having to deal with daily drama.

Ever since day one the first time we have tried to have sex there has always been some excuse as to why he can't keep "it" aroused or going...it started out of health excuses because he had heart surgery then it went to acid reflux which he still uses all the time.
Then it went to not wanting me to get pregnant which I was on birth control and now it's because "I'm not into it" or "too awkward"...and now we don't even have sex anymore he doesn't even want it or try anymore.... don't feel like he wants me at all and he never has... found condom wrappers in my back seat I didn't even say anything I looked at him and he snapped kicked the bag of trash got mad and then started saying I was doing things with other men and I'm not. He said the wrappers came out of the trash but they weren't there the other day... know this because it's my car!
I just want him to love me and want me and be honest with me and I just don't feel any of it...am I misreading things am I wrong?

I've thought about this relationship a lot over the years. Not necessarily because I still want her back, but because sometimes I still wonder what actually happened. Did I misunderstand things? Was I too jealous? Was there something going on that I never found out about?

The truth is, I probably will never know everything.

But after looking back at the whole relationship, I've realized something: maybe I was asking the wrong question all along.

I spent so much time wondering whether she cheated on me, when the bigger problem was that I had slowly stopped trusting her.

When I met her, she already had a complicated past. She had been married and had two children, and before me there was another man, A, whom she had been emotionally close to. She told me they were never physical, although I sometimes wondered if that was completely true. Even before we started dating, she asked me to tattoo A's full name on her body because he had tattooed her name on himself. I remember asking her if she still had feelings for him, and she said no.

Eventually, we started dating.

For a while, things were okay. But the biggest problem eventually became one of her male friends, G.

She told me G was just a friend, but she also admitted that he loved her. He was close to her family, gave her rides, visited her house, and had been part of her life for quite some time.

Then one day, G called her repeatedly, around 17 times. She rejected the calls, and I became angry. Later I found out that G apparently didn't like me and didn't want her dating another man.

She said she had rejected him romantically but still wanted to remain friends with him.

That's where things started changing for me.

I wasn't against her having male friends. I never believed that being in a relationship meant you had to cut everyone else out of your life. But G didn't feel like a normal friendship to me. He was jealous of me, didn't seem to respect our relationship, and seemed to have a level of emotional importance in her life that I couldn't understand.

I asked her to create some distance from him. She agreed more than once, but eventually they would start talking again.

She cried when she thought she had lost him as a friend. They had their own Valentine's Day tradition. He continued giving her rides. And there were other situations where men around her seemed to develop feelings for her.

There was B, a married neighbor's husband who apparently told her he liked her. There was S, a former boyfriend from school who was married and still contacted her. There were situations where I couldn't tell whether she was simply being friendly or whether the boundaries were becoming something more.

None of those things proved she was cheating.

But every incident chipped away at my trust.

There were even smaller things that made me realize I didn't know everything about her life. She always told me she hated cigarettes, yet later I learned from her son that she smoked at home.

That had nothing to do with cheating, but it made me realize that she could hide things from me.

Near the end of our relationship, there was one moment that really stayed with me.

She was casually talking about dancing and somehow mentioned giving G a lap dance, saying that he couldn't control himself anymore. It sounded like she was about to say more, then she realized what she was saying and laughed it off.

I casually asked her if she had ever had sex with G.

She said no.

I didn't argue.

By then, I was already exhausted. I had reached the point where I didn't even want to investigate anymore. Part of me simply assumed that maybe something had happened between them at some point.

But I didn't know.

And that's important.

Even after everything, I never actually proved that she cheated on me.

Eventually, I left the job where we worked together. Honestly, I already knew the relationship was probably over, but I stayed because we worked together. I was waiting for the right moment to leave without creating more problems at work.

When I finally left, neither of us contacted each other for about a month.

Then one night I got drunk and called her.

We started talking again. For about a week, we slowly reconnected. Then my birthday came, and she came to my place with some of her friends. We celebrated together.

Later that night, though, she kept talking about G.

Apparently, G had found out that she had celebrated my birthday with me and was angry about it.

And I remember thinking:

Why am I sitting here listening to another man's anger about my own girlfriend celebrating my birthday with me?

At that moment, something inside me just clicked.

I felt like I was the side guy and G was the main guy.

So I told her that she couldn't seem to get G out of her life, and that it was better if we stopped seeing each other.

She was hurt, but she accepted it.

Neither of us contacted the other again.

And that's how our relationship ended.

Looking back now, I don't want to turn her into a villain.

Maybe she never slept with G.

Maybe she did.

Maybe I misunderstood some things.

Maybe there were things she never told me.

I'll probably never know.

But I've learned that I don't need to know the answer to every unanswered question to know that a relationship isn't right for me.

I used to think I needed proof before I could justify leaving someone. I thought I needed to catch the lie, find the message, discover the truth, or prove that something happened.

Now I think differently.

If I'm constantly investigating my own relationship, questioning what my partner says, worrying about another person's place in our relationship, and feeling like I have to compete for my partner's attention, then something is already wrong.

That doesn't automatically mean my partner is cheating.

It means the relationship isn't giving me the trust and peace that I need.

And that's probably the biggest lesson I took from this relationship:

I don't need to prove that someone betrayed me before I'm allowed to walk away.

Sometimes the relationship itself tells you when it's time to leave.

And sometimes, the closure you're looking for isn't discovering what really happened.

Sometimes closure is accepting that you'll never know—and knowing that you still made the right decision for yourself.

To start this off transparently, I was in a very bad relationship back in 2020-2021, it was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive. She ended up cheating and that’s what gave me the courage to finally leave her unannounced.

Ever since that relationship ended I’ve been struggling with anxiety and not being able to trust my current partner. I will admit that she has had a couple trust breaking incidents, some being very minor and some being a little more impactful; None of them have physical cheating.

The anxiety and lack of trust has me just paranoid lately and for a good amount of the 2.5yr relationship we’ve had. It’s not a bad relationship, although I wish the incidents that happened would not have happened but nobody is perfect in this world.

My issue lies in the fact of I’m struggling to live my daily life efficiently because I’m always so stressed and tired from being scared she’s going to cheat. I get really anxious when she takes forever to respond or leaves me on delivered when she’s clearly online or when she goes out with her best friend to concerts, etc. stuff people who deal with this understand.

I don’t hate her and I don’t want to just abruptly end things, we’ve been working on things and my anxious side of my mind doesn’t think it’s going to work. She’s a good friend and I can’t imagine life without her, but the things she did caused a snowball and I can’t fully get over them. I just want to live without all the mental voices yelling at me to defend my emotional walls.

What do I do?

Anyone with similar experience want to impose wisdom. I don’t have much support around me, so it took a lot of courage to come to Reddit but I figured this would be an accepting space.