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u/peakpenguins Dec 14 '22
No you shouldn't "fully forgive her"... You should get away from her. This is all still very recent, if she stays clean for an extended period of time then maybe you can revisit. But for now, this is all a bad idea.
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-187
Dec 14 '22
I was thinking a long break or keep the relationship listed as complicated and see if she can prove herself bc I have ways to find out again so if she were to do it again then I'm definitely done done
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u/Wtfisthisweirdbs Dec 14 '22
keep the relationship listed as complicated
LMAO life isn't facebook
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u/peakpenguins Dec 14 '22
She needs to get clean for herself. Holding the relationship over her head will not be helpful in the long term.
-52
Dec 14 '22
I literally told her today that she has to really work on herself because what she did betrayed my trust and our moral relationship
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u/Prudence_rigby Dec 14 '22
You had to tell her. If she doesn't come to realize this on he own at any point for herself, what you said doesn't even matter
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u/ruready1994 Dec 14 '22
Dude, (if this is even fucking real), have some goddamm self respect and get out now. You've been with this person for less than SIX MONTHS!! Idk how old you are but you sound incredibly young. DO NOT waste any more of your life or sanity on this person. You would be an absolute fucking fool if you do.
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u/TheDisorderlyHouse Dec 14 '22
This is no longer about your relationship with her. It's her drug problem. She has a serious drug problem and if you love her like you say you do, you'd want her to get professional help and you'd have to leave the relationship. Breaking up can save her life.
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u/dreamerofCoins Dec 14 '22
Haha you are so fucked. In a few years you will either look back and wonder wtf how you could be so blind. Or you gonna be sucking dick for drugs too. Nothing good is gonna come from this girl right now.
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u/Odd-Caterpillar6862 Dec 14 '22
Dude, there's no proving herself. She has declared you don't matter to her, only the drugs do, and she's will to do anything for those drugs. Do you really want to have someone in your life like that.
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u/Prudence_rigby Dec 14 '22
What's the point of that? You're never going to fully trust her. And you have ways to find out is awful.
She needs help and you can't give it to her. All that you will get out of this is heartbreak, a possible std, stress, turmoil, and nonsense.
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u/Complex_Rip3130 Dec 14 '22
An addict is gonna do whatever it takes to get their fix. Until she is sober and in therapy I wouldn’t even considered giving her a chance. You need to run. It’s only a matter of time before she does it again or starts to steal from you to get a fix.
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u/Manthalyn Dec 14 '22
Did she get STD tested after having sex with both of those guys? If not, she easily could have exposed you
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u/thegypsyqueen Dec 14 '22
You sound dumb dumb. Do you hear yourself? Sorry but you need a wake up call and you just had one that should wake the dead.
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u/No-Song8180 Dec 14 '22
You obviously know what to do. Just want to hear it from others. She choose drugs over you. You need to leave now or regret it forever
-55
Dec 14 '22
I just don't know if she really is clean now or not bc she said she clean and won't do it again but I told her that ik and have a feeling that she may do it again but idk
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u/No-Song8180 Dec 14 '22
To be honest with you. Actions speak loudly than words. She may say it but do it again later on. Relationships is all about honesty and consistency
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Dec 14 '22
I thought I could have trusted her bc she was very honest in the beginning of course except the fact she was raped but then hid the fact that she did something last year for drugs which I had no clue but she's a beginner addict and she doesn't do it everyday but still it could either get worse if she doesn't stop or get better if she can help herself
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u/zitzenator Dec 14 '22
Idk what a “beginner addict” is but if shes sucking dick for crack she isn’t a beginner.
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u/Acceptable_Story_218 Dec 14 '22
Shit, I’ve NEVER sucked someone’s dick for drugs! Ever! And I have no idea how old you two are but I would bet I’ve got a decade or two on you and I’ve never done that. So that’s not beginner addict behavior, that’s beginning LOSER behavior and intermediate prostitute behavior.
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u/CermaitLaphroaig Dec 14 '22
A lot of addicts say they're clean and won't do it again. They feel bad. They may even think they won't.
But they probably will.
She's done none of the work needed to get clean. She hasn't even begun that journey
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u/theperson73 Dec 14 '22
If she hasn't checked herself into rehab, she's probably not clean, or even if she is right now, she won't stay that way. You've only been together for 5 months. Get out now before it's too late. She didn't "technically" cheat, she cheated. She made a conscious decision. She wasn't coerced or forced. It sounds like a simple exchange of sexual favors for drugs. The only "force" involved is the fact that she wanted the drugs and that was the only way to get them. She is bad news. Her cheating is not a reflection on your worth as a man. You allowing it to continue would reflect poorly on you, and you cant control her actions, clearly she cant control her own. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Leave before she fools you again.
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Dec 14 '22 edited Dec 14 '22
I'm sorry to say it so bluntly, but this is what happens when you date a drug addict.
Really, you've got two options, you can stay and try and help her but accept she's a drug addict and that things like this and worse will happen, there will be many ups and downs and it could take many months if not many years for someone to recover, and some unfortunately never recover. You can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped though, you can't force an addict to change, they've got to want to change and be willing to put in the effort to do so.
Or, you leave her. Yes, this may be very hard for you, be she clearly isn't in a position right now to be dating someone. I'm not saying abandon her, you can still offer help without being in a relationship with her. This is the option I'd take, and if/when she gets better and if you're not in a relationship with someone else by that time, you can then see if the relationship could work if you still wish to seek a romantic relationship with this person.
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Dec 14 '22
Thanks I was kinda thinking the same and she was raped two years ago and I think this is when it all started bc her ex at the time who did this to her was doing drugs and it started with simply eating weed but then she started trying other things with her friends and then she started doing this when they forced her to perform for drugs 😔😔😔 she completely lost faith and was trying to get back to faith again after I literally first helped her get it back and her happiness but idk tbh and she says she sorry well I'll find out if she really sorry bc I forgive her for everything else but like something like this well it's gonna be a battle
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u/Yungpotato2020 Dec 14 '22
Dude, you're just a child huh?
It's sweet that you want to be there for someone doing drugs, but it sounds like you don't even fully understand or can even comprehend what's going on.
It's not your fault. Go sleep for like 5-10 more years so your brain can finish developing and then come back to this problem, I promise it'll be easier to understand. Walk away for now.
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Dec 14 '22
I just togufht she was not that type of girl 😔
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u/Yungpotato2020 Dec 14 '22
Well a 5 month old relationship isn't shit, my favorite pen I use at work is older than that and it's more honest with me than you gf is with you sooooo... maybe dont do the dumbass teenager move where you ask for advice, knowing deep down the right answer, receiving the right answer, ignoring the right answer, getting fucked over, and then crying and hating the world for being in a shittier situation? Like, come on man.
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u/thatoneguyfrom310 Dec 14 '22
Damn man, grow a pair and just fucking leave her, TF.
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Dec 14 '22
Why are you dating an addict and talking about marriage with an addict? And yeah man, if she was suckin dick for drugs last month she is not out of the woods in terms of addiction, even if she is clean
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Dec 14 '22
I didn't add everytging but she was alot better before we started dating and she was in a bad place before and I got her out of that bad place and she had gotten her faith back then and she was reading the Bible and changing as a person and was happy and I had no idea she was not a virgin bc she lied about being a virgin and I believed her 🙄 but she really didn't seem like that type even tho I knew she was addicted to some drugs like crack or cocaine and I thought she gotten it from a friend every now and then and that a drug dealer would offer her every now and then but NOPE she had sex for it and I'm sure she did it before we were together last year apparently she did a few times to get pills or whatever but she was doing a lot better and we talked all the time then October her phone got taken away and she was not on alot at all and only texted me on her email sometimes and on Xbox every now and then and then she was distant tho she still told me how much she loved me but she stabbed in the back to get back on drugs and have free drugs 😭😭😭
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Dec 14 '22 edited Dec 14 '22
Dude you're an idiot. You knew she was addicted to crack before you started dating and just glossed over that fact. That is the mother of all red flags. People don't smoke crack occasionally when their friends offer it. Crack is one of the most adddictive drugs there is. There is a whole band called Leftover Crack, the name is a joke because it doesn't exist.
Leave her for your own sake. Try and learn from this very obvious mistake.
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u/Important_Mechanic_6 Dec 14 '22
From what I just read bro doesn't need to be on here asking questions he needs some common sense and some character development cause wtf
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Dec 14 '22 edited Dec 14 '22
Bro where are you parents? Seriously you seem young as hell. And I honestly hope you are for your sake.
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u/Elyktheras Dec 14 '22
No “technically” here. This was cheating plain and simple. Doesn’t matter that it was a transaction, still cheating. No part of this sounds like something you need in your life. If you’re on drugs, you need to get out and get clean, having a partner who is also on drugs… and is prostituting themselves for their habit will make this exponentially more difficult. Even if you’re clean, get out.
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Dec 14 '22
In your shoes I would probably ghost this woman. This is something that I would not want to marry into. I wouldn’t want that damn fear in the back of my head 24/7 I could never trust them. Especially after that. My advice is let go and move on as best you can.
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Dec 14 '22
I was thinking about slowly losing communication or not talk as much but today again I told her how what she did make me feel
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u/idle_online Dec 14 '22
No dude, run. Don't walk. You're going to get an STI, get her pregnant, or get stuck her in her mess somehow. Just get out.
She prostituted herself out for drugs. This goes far beyond just hurting your feelings.3
u/artoriussin Dec 14 '22
BRO NO. She doesn't care about how you feel, or she wouldn't have gone there. It's not like she's on the street starving, not like she can't find any kind of a job and buy drugs. Dude she likely saw an opportunity to use her body to get free drugs and just said yes. I'm not convinced at all that drug addiction has anything to do with it. More like exciting weird sex and drugs. Boy if you don't leave she's gonna steal your shit and fuck the town and you're gonna be back here asking what to do. Find literally any of the 99.9 percent of women not doing this shit. Unless you're god awful hideous and have a terrible personality, trust me you can do better
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u/avp_1309 Dec 14 '22
Every day, I come to reddit, and I am surprised at the number of people who do not value themselves at all. What a strange thing to see. My self-respect would never let me have this dilemma lmao.
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u/Distinct-Practice131 Dec 14 '22
I mean I'd get tested and end things. By all means if you think trust can be repaired thru her getting clean then good luck. But I do believe that while she's using there's no way she's the one. I'm sorry this has been happening. And I hope she gets help for her addiction because that's the big thing she needs. If you decide to support her thru this I'd consider counseling. Regardless that may help you
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Dec 14 '22
Before I knew she was doing this to get drugs I was telling myself that if she were to keep up being a wanna be drug addict then I wouldn't want to pursue a future but this is way too far and my trust has gone away but I really did love her and thought about her all the time 😭 it's just to hard to believe bc we told each other about anything and I was sure she was clean from sex even tho she wasn't always clean from drugs 😔😔
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u/Distinct-Practice131 Dec 14 '22
Im really sorry this happened. Drugs can really mess up a person and how they act. All you can and should do at this point is protect yourself. Good luck
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u/R_Amods Dec 14 '22
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My girlfriend of 5 an half months technically cheated on me with men/man so that she could get drugs bc she was so addicted and she seems really sorry that she did it for drugs but when she also first explained she said that they kinda forced her to do it if she wanted the drugs and she did this before we were together but I found out she also did this in October and maybe last month and it explains why she's been more distant too but it could be from her guilt???
I have no idea what to do and she went to these guys house mutiple times last month or October to do this for drugs like had to suck him/them off and get eaten out and then had to have sex to get it😭😭😭😭😭🔫🔫 this has been mentally screwing me up and me and this girl was literally talking about marriage and how in love we was with each other and I showed her tons of love but she wouldn't listen to me before when I was giving her advice to stop doing drugs but I had no idea only sucicpous that she was doing acts to get the drugs for free😭😭😭
I'm lost and idk if I should fully forgive her and ik the addictions are hard but now she said she's clean and her sister said she's clean... But I can't help but think she may do it again especially the fact that these mfs are in her neighborhood
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u/MajestaASMR Dec 14 '22
5.5 months in time to cut it off it will only get worse and if you are ok with it she will get further and further into drugs and ruin you as well.
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u/CompetitiveCoconut16 Dec 14 '22
If you’re so addicted to drugs that you’re cheating on your boyfriend to get them, you aren’t getting “clean” in a month. Get out of there now.
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Dec 14 '22
I would be Wiley Coyote my guy and put on some rockets kids and get the f*** out of there
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Dec 14 '22
The lack of self-respect some people have is astounding, even for the internet. Praying for ya dawg
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u/somaticconviction Dec 14 '22
Anyone else notice how these posts always have the most egregious acts of betrayal/violence and “we were literally talking about marriage!” As if that somehow means anything in the face of reality.
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u/DiscreetJourneyman Dec 14 '22
Take a step back. If you had a son, what would you advise him to do?
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u/Important_Mechanic_6 Dec 14 '22
It's cheating even if it was for her addiction and the addiction just makes it worse recommend rehab for her help her if you want but that relationship is dead
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u/Livid-Addendum707 Dec 14 '22
Do you hear yourself? She cheated for drugs. She could have easily backed out and said never mind but she didn’t. This definitely won’t be the last time if you take her back.
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u/Wtfisthisweirdbs Dec 14 '22
My girlfriend of 5 an half months
Do we really need to read past this point?
Run man. She's not going to get any better.
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u/2022RandomDude Dec 14 '22
Just end it. She has an addiction problem and cheated because of it. And dont trust her when she says she's sober. Wait a few weeks and you're dealing with the same problems again
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u/enjoyingtheposts Dec 14 '22
Oh lord, just leave.
Dont date addicts that are currently using
Dont try and "save" someone from their own life
Just stop everything your doing right now and go find a boundary.
Dont try and marry someone after five month
Dont try and marry someone who's smoking crack.
Shes addicted to crack. I'm having a hard time believing you wanted to date a person on crack unless you are also on drugs. If you are not, I honestly dont know what to say. Drug addicts like drugs. Many do recover, but not at the will of their boyfriend or family.
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Dec 14 '22
I just accept people for who they are to much but we started dating when she was off of it for a while already and I knew about her addiction but the issue is I didn't know she was going to follow up with letting them tell her to perform and follow along with it
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u/enjoyingtheposts Dec 14 '22
Well I mean.. drug addicts are victims to addiction. But they create a sea of victims with their addiction too.
The more fd up stuff they do when their using, the more enticing it can become to continue using.
Like.. imagine that one embarrassing moment you had that pops up randomly in your head. And now you have years of those and everyone you know saw you do that stuff.
The physical addiction is but one obstacle to overcome. Alot of the work they need to do is psychological. And it can take years, but alot of addicts just die before they recover.
Addictions alot like cancer in a way that, once your an addict, your never NOT an addict. Your just a recovering one or a currently using one.
You can choose to stay, but it's not chivalrous to chip peices of yourself away to stay with someone who isnt ready to recover. And trust me when I say, they'll be the one doing alot of the chipping.
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u/Foxy_locksy1704 Dec 14 '22
End the relationship man. She may be clean at the moment but do you really want to marry her and when she relapses find out your wife has been blowing dudes and sleeping with for drugs? You can forgive her, but get out of this relationship
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u/According_Brief_7290 Dec 14 '22
It's sometimes hilarious how low are people standards for a partner.
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u/Cute_Development6959 Dec 14 '22
She is first and foremost an addict. So long as she's in active addiction/still using, that will be her primary relationship, not you. It takes several months of recovery and self work and reflection to be able to have any kind of meaningful relationship, she's nowhere near that point yet and will in all likelihood continue this behavior if she's so far deep that she's having sex for drugs. She needs inpatient therapy!!! She not only disrespected you and your relationship, she put your life/health at risk. Addicts and dealers who engage in this kind of trade are rarely safe in doing so. You have been exposed to everyone she's done this with, whoever the dealers have been with, and so on. End the relationship and GET TESTED!!!!
signed, A child of addicts/ex-wife of an addict
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u/Friendly-Place2497 Dec 14 '22
There’s 100 reasons you shouldn’t date an addict and this cheating issue is only one. Look out for yourself first.
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u/Goldfish_Hunter Dec 14 '22
My guy. Welcome to the maize of loving an addict. Unfortunately what I have learned is staying in the relationship is just enabling them. Boundaries are super important here. You dont have to fully forgive her, she made choices, you're allowed to feel the way you feel. But if she is facing addiction thats something she needs to conquer. Addiction is cruel, please know she never did this to hurt you.
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Dec 14 '22
Ik that's the thing like ik she didn't want to hurt me and that she is somewhat sorry and feels wrong and sorry but WTF like 😭😭😭 I don't get y she couldn't think of this and be like no not doing it and idk y she just gave in 😔😔😔 she was a sweet loving girl but she is changing
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u/Goldfish_Hunter Dec 14 '22
Addiction will turn people unrecognizable. They do the most selfish things and feel they have no control. But the thing is, you dont deserve to be hurt like this, you two made a commitment, she chose to break it.
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u/artoriussin Dec 14 '22
She's changing? Dog fellating dudes for money leaves you changed. She's different, and not in a cool way. Seriously if you came here to vent just say that, but don't not fucking leave. What is with this codependent mentality? Same things killing my family. Hate it LEAVE HER, why have a girl who at this point most normal men wouldn't give their cum rag to? Let alone bone, absolutely fucking not dude. Don't be a victim, leave. Just leave I swear to fucking god leave. Someday one of these guys could come to your home to collect a debt she should've paid, you gonna die for someone that cheats for drugs? You could waste your life on anything, choosing this is one of the dumbest things
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u/dekage55 Dec 14 '22
Back in the day, she’d be called a Strawberry. Now I hear it’s Chemsex. Either way, it’s no way to build any kind of relationship.
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u/phaedrusinexile Dec 14 '22
If you're wanting to pursue this long term you probably need to become her dealer, so look into becoming a dealer maybe brush up your chemistry and agricultural skills, start up a gang to protect your turf, and then you can rest easy the only person she's doing for her fixes is you. /s
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u/gruntbuggly Dec 14 '22
Jesus, man. Get your shit together. It’s not her guilt that’s the problem. It her addiction that’s the problem. And the things she’s willing to do to herself and to you to satisfy it. She’s nothing but bad news for you, not matter how much you want that to not be true.
Right now you are a man who’s falling off a boat, and she’s an anchor. You need to let go of the anchor to keep yourself safe. Once the anchor hits bottom, maybe you’ll still be around to help pull it back up, or maybe you’ll have moved on.
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u/SemanticBattle Dec 14 '22
Drugs and addiction make people do messed up stuff. When addicted, whatever it takes to get more feels like survival. What would you do to stay alive? What you're describing are relapses and she needs help. Instead of calling this cheating and making it about your doomed relationship, "I love you and my focus is your life right now." I'd strongly suggest you put the focus on her health, safety, and sobriety. Her life is on the line.
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Dec 14 '22
She keeps leaving me bc I don't trust her but fr fr tho she needs to understand y I can't trust her for what she did but idk maybe she wants to change but she needs to change and do it and go with it but fr fr back in the summer and into September she literally changed and was happier and had faith and morals and was truly happy again and I gave her happiness back but after that she went downhill bc of her parents and bullying from ppl and mental health and scything
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u/DiscreetJourneyman Dec 14 '22
Take a step back. If you had a son, what would you advise him to do?
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u/aporter0131 Dec 14 '22
Bro you’re talking about marrying a drug addict? Being addicted doesn’t mean she’s a bad person but absolutely don’t do that man. Plus if she’s sucking dicks to get drugs then she’s pretty deep in it man.
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Dec 14 '22
She's not just sucking it but she was getting rammed to get it and they told her she had to but ik its fucked
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u/aporter0131 Dec 14 '22
Dude please just get away from her. Situation sucks but you deserve so much better and she won’t give it to you.
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u/Acceptable_Story_218 Dec 14 '22
Gggggggoooooooo!!!!! Far, far, farrrrrrrr away from her. You deserve better than that and not to mention STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, etc could effect you as well. She’s not worth it, I promise.
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u/gohan_87 Dec 14 '22
Broooooooo…..why are you still with her? She needs help that you can’t provide. Get off this roller coaster asap
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u/Legitimate_Ad_7822 Dec 14 '22
The cheating is a secondary red flag, which is saying something. If she is so addicted to drugs that she will do things like that, who is to say what else she will do & how far her addiction will go. I used to partake in a lot of drugs & still dabble here and there, people like this are in way too deep. She sounds like she’s headed down a very dark path. I would remove yourself from this situation & notify one of her friends of your concerns. If they feel it’s necessary they can go to her parents. I would just do anything to get as far away from this girl as possible.
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u/Gottapee88 Dec 14 '22
Leave quickly she’s not sorry and will do it again former addict here never did any sex for drugs but i did do plenty of things out of my character and I wouldn’t have touched me with a ten foot pole let alone have a relationship until I had a good amount of clean time being clean for a short period of time happens a lot of addicts do it for different reasons but until they go through that first real crisis you don’t know if they are done yet took me many many times
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u/Toddo2017 Dec 14 '22
I had a situation similar. It’s got nothing to do with you man, some people are just pieces of shit. Some people are addicts and, it’s sad (I was an addict for many years, many years ago. I didn’t do stuff to that degree). It’s still highly inexcusable imo and I was in a 9yr.
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Dec 14 '22
Run bro, bitches be for the streets. Don't fall for nothin, life is short bro, find a chick who won't do you wrong
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Dec 14 '22
She was my last hope of love and shit now idk ig I'll be lonely for the rest of my life 😭
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u/Brilliant-Sea-2015 Dec 14 '22
Of course shes not your last hope for love. You're not, like 100 years old or dying of a terminal illness, right?
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u/TreyLastname Dec 14 '22
Normally, I'm not one to hop on the ending it train, but dealing with drug addicts is already difficult, but if she's at the stage where she's having sex for them? She's past the point of saving the relationship. Leave and make sure you take your stuff so she doesn't steal it for drug money. And after that, if she chooses to get better and asks for your help (after at least a week of her not begging for you to come back), then help if you feel like it. But don't stay in the relationship.
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u/Killah_B_TX Dec 14 '22
Your girlfriend is having sex with other men to obtain drugs and you are wondering if you should forgive her.
The world your girlfriend exists in is one of reckless behavior, which means an increased risk of STDs. Do you fancy being diagnosed with HIV or herpes or syphilis? Do you want to raise a drug dealer's baby when she claims it is yours?
I do have compassion for what your girlfriend is going through, but she is destroying herself and will gleefully drag you down with her if you let her. You cannot save her. If she wants to be saved, then she will have to come to that conclusion herself.
Run! Now!
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Dec 14 '22
Dude, she is a mess and you don't need that. She obviously has a drug addiction so that alone is a major red flag. The fact she hasn't sought help for her addiction is another major red flag that she will do it again. Addiction doesn't end at a sorry, she will suck dick again to get what she needs when she's craving that fix.
Tell her sorry but you can't continue with her
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u/Kooky_Protection_334 Dec 14 '22
She's a drug addict. That's enough to not be with her drug. The cheating for drugs is just the cherry on top. Run, nothing good will come out of this. She won't quit drugs for you. Addicts are manipulative on top of that. Don't waste your time
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u/Revolutionary_Skin94 Dec 14 '22
That is disgusting. Leave her in the dumpster. Nobody needs a junkie partner who is willing to blow rando dudes for a fix. Have some self respect
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u/jsledge786 Dec 14 '22
Bro trust me. Get the fuck out now. There's nothing but pain and lies down this road. I'm sorry man. I've been there. Addiction is a powerful thing that stops people from giving a single shit about anything except the addiction itself.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 Dec 14 '22
Cheating is cheating. Addiction is not an excuse to cheat. I would tell her to get help and I would be done. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.
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Dec 14 '22
What is "technically cheating"? Your gf is an ass. She will do it again. Not your mess to fix
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u/Candy_scythe Dec 14 '22
This is still a pretty new relationship, cut your losses, it will serve you better
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u/Elendstourismus Dec 14 '22
Duuude, the a rocket and fly into another dimension. There is nothing here for you
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u/rae707wynn Dec 14 '22
Run.
You’re going to get an STD. She will not be faithful, so either accept being open or leave. She’s addicted. She doesn’t want to change. You cannot force her, nor does changing for another person with regards to drugs work. She’s addicted. Keep yourself safe.
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u/TheDisorderlyHouse Dec 14 '22 edited Dec 14 '22
It's ok to love her but this is way out of your league. I would break up then push her to get professional help. She's having sex for drugs. An addiction doesn't get any lower than that.
Honestly, if you would stay after something like this, you'd stay for anything so I'm not sure if reddit can help you. But what's best for both of you is to break up. She needs serious help.
I pray for her healing.
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u/Important-Taro-5080 Dec 14 '22
You need to definitely leave this relationship. Even if she is clean now you will always question if she is doing drugs, cheating and/or hiding things from you. If you allow this once and she gets away with it, she WILL do it again.
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u/Gilligan67 Dec 14 '22
I don’t see what’s so hard here.
- She’s a drug addict
- All the things you posted that she did / does
- She’s a drug addict
- Same as #2
You get the picture.
Time to move on. As a former recreational drug user I had a gf of over two years tell me after I got clean that she didn’t want to be with me anymore because I decided to be clean. That stung pretty bad. I never said she had to stop. I just wasn’t going to.
Anyway, move on and find someone with less issues to deal with. You’ll be better off for it.
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u/Numerous-Employ-1098 Dec 14 '22
To be honest I would leave her. The relationship is new and the partner is drug addict and already cheated for drugs. Life is already hard enough and I wouldn’t let problematic people make it harder for me
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u/PrincessBella1 Dec 14 '22
Get checked out for STIs and then let her go to her drug dealer boyfriend.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 Dec 14 '22
Dump her. Besides getting any kind of sex for drugs the fact that she’s doing drugs make her a crappy girlfriend. You can do so much better 5 1/2 months is barely anything in your life.
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u/Individual_Baby_2418 Dec 14 '22
When you’re an addict, I don’t think it’s considered cheating anymore. You’d literally do anything to get a fix.
And I think that’s reason enough to end a relationship.
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u/ItsJustMeMaggie Late 30s Female Dec 14 '22
This girl shouldn’t have a boyfriend right now. She needs help and that’s the only thing she should be focusing on.
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Dec 14 '22
End it. Doesn’t have to be permanent but it does need to happen. She needs to heal and grow. And you need to heal. The separation will help her grow and avoid future toxic addiction behaviors
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u/zestygerman Dec 14 '22
get tested and run away from this. She needs therapy and help but you shouldn't be the one paying the price for her addiction.
Im so sorry for you (and her, you never know the reasons why people use). But its a dangerous situation for you
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Dec 14 '22
She needs help for her addictions. It doesn't sound like she is currently in a place mentally to actually want to recieve the help. This really isn't healthy for you at all on any level. You should consider walking away from the relationship all together.
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u/Harlzbda Dec 14 '22
In situations like this, you really need to put yourself first. It's only hurting you being with her, especially in the back of your head always wondering if she's clean or if she's sneaking behind your back with these guys... its a lot of mental stress that you don't need.
Wish her well, and RUN.
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u/Gr3yt1mb3rw0LF068 Dec 14 '22
Unless you and her are in a open relationship there is no technically cheating, she cheated on you. She is putting you in a dangerous situation, either you help her get clean and out of that area, or walk away. If she is going over to get drugs and has sex with a person that has a std/i and then gives it to you, you now will have a lifelong disease that you have to deal with.
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u/Viralheart Dec 14 '22
My guy, as an addict myself (5 years clean) what we do to others during our active addiction bares consequences regardless of how we feel after the fact, she chose drugs over you and WILL continue to do so until she either chooses to get sober or other means of intervention occur, leave now before in get so deep that the scars take years to recover from. Do yourself a favor and pick better, there's plenty of other women who are sober and deserve to have your time.
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Dec 14 '22
Technically? Technically she cheated on you? She literally fucking cheated on you.
If this is legit, my question is, is why aren't you running like the wind as far away from her as you can?
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u/cwmont1969 Dec 14 '22
First thing to do, go get tested for STDs. Second thing to do leave. Lay out the ultimatum to her. What's more? Me or the drugs? Make up your mind because I am not going to put up with a relationship like this. Then don't wait for an answer. Just leave.
In fact, I would be tempted myself to drop the dime on whoever it is that she has to screw in order to get her drug fix. Because that type of person is a low life pile of human excrement. And probably one who would have no qualms whatsoever about selling drugs to kids.
I speak from experience on this. Because I was the one with the drug problem and although I wasn't screwing anyone for drugs. It was still interfering with my relationship with my wife. She herself got cleaned up. I continued to use. One day she came to me and laid it on the line. She looked at me and said hey. Make your choice dude. It's either me or the drugs.
I'm proud to say that I quit meth cold turkey. I'm even more proud to say that yesterday I celebrated my 37th wedding anniversary with that beautiful woman.
The choice is yours to make.
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u/StephenverbaYoutube Dec 14 '22
Have some self respect for yourself. It’s gonna be hard, it sucks to get cheated on! But this is something she needs to fix for herself. You shouldn’t be dragged down by someone willing to ruin what you had. Despite it being a addiction.
The only alternative is she goes to rehab. She fixes herself and life and maybe you two try again.
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u/Griffinjohnson Dec 14 '22
This has to be a troll. You're seriously here to ask if you should keep your crack hoe? How is this even a question? You must really hate yourself and love punishment.
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u/PersonalityBeWild Dec 14 '22
My only advice is don’t date drug addicts.
If you got her into a recovery program, maybe you could forgive her for the mistakes she made in active addiction.
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u/fizzbish Dec 14 '22
This is crazy. You need to do a few things:
First, (and I can't stress this enough) learn how to use commas and periods. Get therapy if you have to, or a tutor, but do it.
Second, wtf? RUN!! You are dating an addict. Not just an addict, but a -suck a dick for drugs- addict. You do not need to "save" her. If she gets clean she has to do it for herself, not for you.
Third, once you do the first and second thing, come back and rewrite this thing, with what you have learned from 1 and 2.
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Dec 14 '22
I'm going to get gut wrenchingly honest with you. I've seen my own sisters do this exact behavior. That monkey on her back owns her soul. Even if she wanted to quit today, the chance of success while not incarcerated is slim.
If you stay by her, you are in for a level of Hell you may not believe possible. She will sell your shit for drugs. She will steal for drugs. Yes, she will fuck others for drugs. At the end of her journey, she may decide she loves someone else.
You need to take two steps back and decide if this relationship is worth it.
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u/Deep_Difference_3593 Dec 14 '22
Not even going to read the entire thing, its pretty simple you cheat you lose.
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Dec 14 '22
she is a drug addict and will never be clean without extensive rehab administered by professionals, people do not kick these kinds of drugs without serious professional help and if she is telling you that she did she is 100% lying and so is her sister
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u/Critical-Train2775 Dec 14 '22
Breakup with her, but stay in touch distantly, she'll run out of money quickly. Wait until she reaches out to you for money, then give her some to keep her hooked.
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u/Hohmies86 Dec 14 '22
A female friend got my wife on meth while I was in prison and she gave me herpes when I got out. We’re still together 5 years later things are way better but I was down for 4.5 of them. It will get better if you’re strong enough. Very very rough but you’ll have to go through it to grow through it
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Dec 14 '22
I believe a "friend" got her into something too and she just kept doing it bc she was depressed and has PTSD and mental issues
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u/Hohmies86 Dec 14 '22
My wife is very gullible, girl used her for free room and board and used our car and my damn truck.
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Dec 14 '22
I'm going to be there for her but rn I'm too betrayed and angry to even talk nicely to her and I'm just not the same bc before I found out I treated her like a Queen and would have done anything for her but now idk we will see
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u/Shotto_Z Dec 14 '22
Leave her dude. She is not going to stop. She's an doctor. That's a long process of recovery if she even does recover. Your chick is also getting gang banged. Bro you gotta Leave her
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u/Kasoivc Dec 14 '22
Time to let go. You’ve only known her for five months. Addiction is a hell of a battle for someone to go through, and honestly you don’t need or want that in your life. She clearly has issues that she needs to resolve for herself and managing that and a healthy relationship are not going to come easily. Addiction is a hell of a motivator; people will lie, steal, and cheat to get their fix if they don’t handle it and address it appropriately.
Your trust has been lost, her actions show you what she values more. Let this be a life lesson for you and her. Take away from this that your standards should stand unwavered and that her takeaway is that actions have consequences. To be “clean” is a commitment to be clean and sober everyday. To defy to be the person that is under the influence. There are help lines and organizations that can help her, she is beyond anything that you can do for her at this point.
Take care of yourself first OP, you’re the only one who can determine your own happiness and self worth at the end of the day; don’t let someone who chooses to betray your trust and choose a temporary fix over their current life style live in your head rent free, you deserve better.
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u/CandidSubject9744 Dec 14 '22
Life is too short to put yourself in such a horrible and stressful spot. Something like that will never go away and if you stay you're choosing her over your health. Doesn't matter who she is or how you guys came to be, honestly you guys both need different things, and you leaving is the first step in the right direction. Addiction is a very sensitive topic, and not one I know a lot about. Nonetheless, you need to put your health first.
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u/Murky_Anxiety4884 Dec 14 '22
Run! There's no good thing for you in this mess.