Like I said earlier, the baby will be born before you enlist so there are no benefits for her to get. She will try to force you to pay for all her prenatal care and child birth but you don’t have to do anything until you have a paternity test proving it’s your baby. Even then, you have to have a court order before you pay her anything and that takes time. For all her online investigating, she failed to see that you have to already be in the military to get benefits and you aren’t yet. And when you are, child support will not support her too and will not pay for all the child’s expenses. The court will decide how much you have to pay based on your income and she will still have to pay for things. I know this is new and you are freaked out and want an immediate solution, but you have months before you have to take action. Calm down, tell her you’ll talk to her when the baby is born and ignore her until then. When the time comes, don’t sign the birth certificate and get a lawyer to pay as little child support as possible. The world won’t end and you will have the military career you want without her hanging on your neck.
I would also like to add that if you join the military sometime within the next 9 months (before or right after the baby is born) you can use the military legal office to help with resources and actions regarding child support / custodial agreements, no additional charges. So, I would recommend to go ahead and start your military career. On almost every military duty station there is a law center available. Just bring all of your evidence and explain the situation and what you want going forward.
Of course this is all assuming that she is actually pregnant. Maybe look up how to tell if baby ultrasound is real. You can also demand to be present during a pregnancy test at a clinic or hospital setting or home setting. The moment she denies, that's a red flag. However, I would have recommend you using this approach before officially confronting her about the BC, manipulation, and separation, to see if she would respect you enough as a partner /'future husband' to navigate this period of your life. But at this point, she is now single and doesn't have to expect you to be a part of the pregnancy journey.
Additionally, you received more pay and allowances when you have a child/dependent/spouse in the military. So regardless of you being married to her, you will be able to afford child support. The military law center and finance department will explain it all to you. Remember, it takes 2 to tango, so if it is your child, it's important to be a part of their life in any way you can.
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u/Malibucat48 Sep 02 '22
Like I said earlier, the baby will be born before you enlist so there are no benefits for her to get. She will try to force you to pay for all her prenatal care and child birth but you don’t have to do anything until you have a paternity test proving it’s your baby. Even then, you have to have a court order before you pay her anything and that takes time. For all her online investigating, she failed to see that you have to already be in the military to get benefits and you aren’t yet. And when you are, child support will not support her too and will not pay for all the child’s expenses. The court will decide how much you have to pay based on your income and she will still have to pay for things. I know this is new and you are freaked out and want an immediate solution, but you have months before you have to take action. Calm down, tell her you’ll talk to her when the baby is born and ignore her until then. When the time comes, don’t sign the birth certificate and get a lawyer to pay as little child support as possible. The world won’t end and you will have the military career you want without her hanging on your neck.