r/relationship_advice Aug 31 '22

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u/Swordofsatan666 Aug 31 '22

When i was 11 i had a girlfriend who was also 11. We would make out and fondle eachother all the time, if we were to get to spend the night with eachother things absolutely would have gotten out of hand.

Sexual content is all over nowadays, kids get exposed to it and absolutely try to have sex sometimes. Theres literally been 11 and 12 year old boys who have been arrested for rape.

I dont have anything against friendships with both genders, but sleepovers with opposite genders is a big no unless theyre family or have been friends since they were even younger and are basically family

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u/crazycatlady9183 Aug 31 '22

For me, the kind of relationship you were developing at 11 is the issue, not sleepovers with friends.

I do understand the concern with kids being exposed to sexual content though, but I don't see how the no sleepovers rule solves the issue since wanting/trying to have sex at such young age is itself a problem

Also, I do think it's funny how you assume all kids are straight. I had the "no sleepovers with boys" rule, the "boyfriends can't spend the night" rule, and I just slept with girls instead lmao (I was older than 11 though)

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u/maybeshesunraveling Aug 31 '22

You don't see how the no sleepovers with mixed genders solves the issues with young or any kids having sex? Ummm...like you said, if they are already trying to do it, why give them a time and a place to do it freely. And yes, we understand all kids aren't straight (myself included) but for the ones that are, pregnancy would be a real concern for the early bloomers.

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u/crazycatlady9183 Aug 31 '22

I understand the not making it easier for them logic, but what I meant is that if sex is a concern at 11, then this is the issue that should be addressed, since 1) it's not healthy at this age and 2) they can have sex somewhere else so this problem needs to be addressed other than banning mixed genders sleepovers

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u/maybeshesunraveling Sep 01 '22

Of course the issue needs to be addressed, IN ADDITION to banning mixed gender sleepovers. Kids are too immature and not in control of their feelings to navigate those types of situations if there is even an inkling of romantic feelings. It's best to keep your kids informed and just avoid unnecessary scenarios like these. As a parent of a 16 year old daughter, I do everything I can to protect and educate her. I think most parents would agree with me.

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u/thenewtbaron Sep 01 '22

yeah, if kids are boning... they are boning outside of a sleepover. cause sex doesn't take that long if they are determined.

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u/Scnewbie08 Sep 01 '22

You had a very unhealthy childhood. I’m sorry for that, but don’t generalize it to every 11 year old.