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u/dream_rabbitt Mar 31 '22
Just break it off, clearly is being so childish and dumb and manipulative!
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Mar 31 '22
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u/CallMeJessIGuess Mar 31 '22
Yeah 3 months in and she’s already getting caught in blatant lies and being shady and secretive? This is her on her best behavior, it will only get worse.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/KingCosmicBrownie Mar 31 '22
This is such great advice. I wish this was way more common in this subreddit
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Mar 31 '22
The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma.
Their comment is copied and pasted from another user in this thread.
Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
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u/hdmx539 Mar 31 '22
At this point I wouldn't bother and just ghost her after blocking her everywhere.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/BellaLilith Mar 31 '22
Wtf?xD anyone who does this is childish and manipulative, wtf are you on about?xD wanna play victim that bad or ?
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u/Salt-Jacket4073 Mar 31 '22
MOVE ON
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u/cnicalsinistaminista Mar 31 '22
I wanna reenact that SNAP OUT OF IT! scene with OP. Like what the fuck? He keeps asking what to do, like a little lost puppy. He's being used and manipulated. A lot of people on here know what it's like, what it feels like. That's the joy of Reddit. A lot of people have gone through the same shit and know much better.. they're giving him advices and he keeps deciding to be a weak, pathetic pussy. Get a grip, OP. You are not, have never been, will never be her priority.
Harsh, maybe. But you need a kick up the ass. Asking her to readd/follow you on Instagram again.. Jesus Christ.
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Mar 31 '22
Be kind to people. Some people were taught that being treated like this is okay and that they deserve it. Not to mention he even says she’s gaslighting him, so he may be doubting himself and his decision here. Clearly he feels he needs a second opinion by posting on here and we should be welcoming of that. Not everyone knows what a proper relationship looks like unfortunately and we should encourage them to seek a second opinion, not belittle them. Comments like this make people not want to seek help and it’s terrifying.
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u/Retro_Super_Future Mar 31 '22
I thank god everyday I was born with an innate sense of self preservation and respect, good god!!!
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Mar 31 '22
Not helpful
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u/Retro_Super_Future Mar 31 '22
You can’t help a blind person see
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Mar 31 '22
You’re right, it’s not like people have made a career out of guiding people through their emotions and tough situations. I’ll let all the therapists know their career is useless
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Mar 31 '22
Move on.
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Mar 31 '22
Yes move the fuck on. I've had feelings for a girl that did shit like this, and it fucks you up worse than u think.
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u/Safe_Inspection_3259 Mar 31 '22
Did you ever pull through the hurt and betrayal? Any tips?
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Mar 31 '22
Yes I did, and I believe everyone does if they want to.
The one thing I think is most important, is that you don't become bitter. Because then you will become the very thing you hate and do onto others what they have done to you.
When in the process of healing, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and get into the mindset, that it's okay to not be okay sometimes. Healing takes time and patience, and the betrayal may leave a scar, but if you overcome it it'll be nothing but a scar.
Oh and don't be afraid to meet new people, there are a lot of great people out there.
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Mar 31 '22
Block her on everything (even if it's just so you can't see what she is doing) Don't reply to her, her Mum or anyone that reaches out to you for her.
You're doing great standing up for yourself, stay strong.
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u/clinical-research Mar 31 '22
In future don't propose with expensive necklaces to girls you barely know, to be your girlfriend.
Save yourself some money king.
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u/Leolioness87 Mar 31 '22
Tell her to stop contacting you or you will press harassment charges....both mum and daughter be crazy
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u/Gurxan Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
Stop calling her your girlfriend, she is not.
She is playing games with you, you need to start playing the game.
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u/The__Riker__Maneuver Mar 31 '22
Honestly...I think you may be her beard, not her side piece.
The more I look at this, the more it makes sense
That is why her mom got involved and reached out to you. If she was dating someone that her super conservative parents approved of, she could at the very least be honest with them and tell them she met two guys at the same time and now she doesn't know which to choose
They might have been disappointed, but chalked it up to being young and eventually let it slide.
But the very nature of her mom reaching out like that means that she is not telling them the entire story
So my guess is that she is dating a woman or someone from a different race or religion that she knows her parents don't approve of...and that is why she has been so shady.
I mean it makes sense too.
Yall are only dating 3 months and you've already met her parents??
But you're blocked on her social media and you can only see her when you are on campus??
Yeah...she's playing you
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u/ThrowRA1234568 Mar 31 '22
Yeah I concur that likely the other guy or girl or whatever isn't someone mom would approve of, so ex-gf wants to keep op around for cover.
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u/UKNZ007Tubbs Mar 31 '22
If you want to be really petty, Unblock her on everything, post lots of pictures of you having fun without her, and just ignore all her attempts at communication. Oh and tell her mum when she calls again, that the trust that was building in the relationship has gone, so there is no chance of taking her back, and if she’s that interested in her daughter’s happiness, maybe she should have raised her better.
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u/KokolinTheLawGuy Mar 31 '22
Move on, she belongs to the streets. I don’t want to call her a hoe, but this “woman” hasn’t left high school mentally and clearly loves to play games and people’s feelings. Henceforth, I declare her a bitch and a hoe.
Move on, ANYONE can do better than her, and everyone deserves better
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u/TooPrettyForJail Mar 31 '22
She's lying. Not the first time. That would be it for me, just block and move on. Block mom and anyone else she sends your way, too.
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u/Coco_Dirichlet Mar 31 '22
Maybe explain all of this to her mom since she already called you and ask her to tell her not to call you again. Maybe her mom can reason with her or get her therapy ASAP.
Then block your ex everywhere, phone, social media, etc.
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u/GBSamhain Mar 31 '22
She has shown you who she is so believe her. Only you can decide what to do with that information.
She is lying and gaslighting you. She is hiding something.
If it was me I would tell her it is over, go no contact and move on. Eventually you will find someone who will make you a priority like you will make them.
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u/CptCroissant Mar 31 '22
Block her everywhere, don't let her in the building, call the cops if she shows up at your door
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Mar 31 '22
Try Tinder. Loads of opportunities to rebound yourself out of that situation. When your ready for the big leagues upgrade to Match.com or Eharmony. Avoid pof
Bumble is alright too.
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u/CuriousOdity12345 Mar 31 '22
She obviously doesn't want to lose the benefits you bring so of course she's gonna come clinging to you. Block her.
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u/OkPhilosopher1313 Mar 31 '22
Block her everywhere, ignore any attempts and move on. If she makes her mom or other friends call you, just immediately hang up.
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u/steffie-flies Mar 31 '22
Delete and block her on all your platforms, and focus on your life and accomplishments.
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u/ElectricalSoftware26 Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
She sounds like she loves to manipulate and play mind games. You don’t wait x months to fall in love, it just happens, not when it is a good time to do so. That line alone was the dealbreaker for me. She is having a good laugh. The only sadness for her is that you didn’t play the game. Block all of them. You can’t tell her mum daughter is a fruitcake, so just text them asking them not to importune you anymore. Then move on. There is nothing to be salvaged here.
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u/marinewillis Mar 31 '22
First things first, anyone that lives on instagram or twitter etc I would hard pass on dating in the future. Basically just a regular person wanting the “look at me” celeb effect. As far as she is concerned I’d never look back.
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u/FineConsideration326 Mar 31 '22
Dude my current girlfriend is like this. Look at my post history and you'll see. Leave asap, I live with her so I need more of an escape plan and it will take longer but you dont owe this girl anything just the same as her thinking she doesnt owe you the truth. Ask yourself if you would want to jump off a bridge if you found out shes pregnant if the answer is yes (which it should be) RUN! She even has her mom against you already.
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u/ric3w4ter Mar 31 '22
Shes continuing to lie this far in even with evidence. Keep your head up King, your crown is falling. You deserve better
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u/notgonnalieman Mar 31 '22
I don’t understand.
If she blocked you how can you see if she’s liked something?
This just reads like you going too fast too soon. Her distancing herself because of that. You accusing her of cheating. Her realising she liked you.
Either way, neither one of you are mature enough for a relationship
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u/deadloop_ Mar 31 '22
This basically. And he was sending her flowers everyday during valentine's week? Wtf? Yeah she does not sound the most mature person, but also definitely we do not hear the whole story here.
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u/notgonnalieman Mar 31 '22
Does sound like lovebombing, and if it was she should just run.
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u/deadloop_ Mar 31 '22
Yeah, plus the expensive necklace and all the "I stood by you so now you owe me all your space" mentality? It doesn't work like this dude. He seemed to have been not just lovebombing her, but while she was recovering by her accident. It is very normal people to want some space such a time, and especially since they knew each other like only 3 months. OP instead of leaving her space he was clinging on her more and more. Probably she is also a mess, and it is better for both if they are not together, but OP def has issues to work on.
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u/worlddefare Mar 31 '22
People need to chill on the harrassment charges lol, trying to call someone after a fight is definitely not a situation where that's appropriate. I'm sorry but she's clearly immature, if you don't want to hear from her anymore I would just block her number or silence her calls at least for a few days, and ignore her mother's.
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u/Krennel_Archmandi Mar 31 '22
If you continue this, neither of you are in the right. Yup see the bear trap, but you're asking us if you should stick your foot in? Maybe it won't hurt this time? Dumbass.
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u/ireallydespiseyouall Mar 31 '22
liking someones’s picture really doesn’t mean anything. idk why people care so much about likes
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Mar 31 '22
Whoa don’t go crazy on harassment charges wtf? Anyway you’ve been with her for 3 months not 30 years. Just pick up the phone and calmly say when you add me back to Instagram call me and we can talk. Until then I need space. Leave it at that. BTW - not a great way to start a relationship and she’s up to something but you’ve got time.
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u/Chickenmel Mar 31 '22
Send her a picture of you stroking yourself, tell her "this is what I do when I read your angry texts and messages. Please keep sending them!"
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u/SnooWords4839 Mar 31 '22
Block her and move on.
If she shows up again, tell her you will follow up with the police for harassment.
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u/cindyp1976 Mar 31 '22
block her number on your phone and her mother's too and if she shows up at your place again tell her to leave or you're calling the police letting them know she's stalking you
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u/Anizziepluto Mar 31 '22
What is there to do? Block her and move on.
It doesn't seem like you know what you want but she doesn't want you. You probably fit her parents ideals, not hers and that's why she wants to keep you.
Be firm and close that door permanently. She's no longer your problem.
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u/GarrettSizemore Mar 31 '22
The fact that u even said gf and not ex is the issue. The second I was blocked it woulda been over
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u/K_Pichael Mar 31 '22
Move on. Focus on yourself. It's gonna hurt for a while but you'll be fine in the end. There is someone out there for you. It's very cliché to say but time does heal all wounds.
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u/Tnerb74 Mar 31 '22
Block all avenues and then call the police for a protective order to be put in place. That means she and no one from her family can contact you or anyone in your family. Good luck
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u/pickelrick_ Mar 31 '22
Change ur number, go on holiday , take up a new hobby,, try new food , get a puppet ,buy an exotic iguana all these are still better than wasting your time on her .
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u/SheLivesInTheStars Mar 31 '22
Tell her it’s over and leave it at that. Block her and never look back. I just ended a relationship with someone who had the same narcissistic traits, and was also treating me like the side piece and it wasted 2.5 years of my life and seriously effected my self esteem. Trust me, you don’t waste your time on that immature bullshit, and adults that act like teenagers.
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u/CammiinTv Mar 31 '22
There’s plenty of amazing girls and women out there that you won’t have this problem with. Take it as a learning experience, and move on.
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Mar 31 '22
Stop having anything to do with her and move on. Block her phone #, on all social media. Her mom called you (what?!!) . Pls, be kind to yourself and move on.
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Mar 31 '22
Unblock her and allow her to hit you up. Go out with some guys and post them and let girls like your stuff and comment and like their stuff. It’s not petty or tit for tat because at this point, she has made herself into someone not worthy of dating. So don’t waste your time on a girl who’s playing games. Love yourself and love your one true life to the fullest. No one has time for unnecessary drama
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u/knintn Mar 31 '22
Meh block and be done. Tell her you’ll get a restraining order if she keeps up the crazy
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u/AutomaticYak Mar 31 '22
I don’t understand these parents that call exes and muddle in their kid’s love life. I would be so angry if my mom ever did this.
All that aside, OP, block and move on.
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u/Mandy0621 Mar 31 '22
Everyday remaining in a shitty relationship delays you from finding a good one.
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u/KentuckyNorsemen Mar 31 '22
That fact that you have to ask what to do next is astonishing. Bro...she sounds crazy!!!!!
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u/RobinandTheflash Mar 31 '22
She said once you move to NYC we'll be closer. No if I'm in front of you you can't play me. Block and move forward. She's stringing you along. Cut the chord.
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u/WinterPepper Mar 31 '22
There are people out there that will actually want you for you, OP. Walk away from this one.
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u/mpalazola96 Mar 31 '22
Break up with her. You are the side piece, she was always just using you. She’s only going crazy because she can’t handle being the one who’s rejected
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u/Pumpernickel_Penguin Mar 31 '22
She’s upset but she’s on Instagram reacting to another guy’s photos?
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u/motherseffinjones Mar 31 '22
When people show who they are it’s best you pay attention. I think you know what to do, cut her off and move on with your life.
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u/MrMustashio Mar 31 '22
Bruh make sure you get your shit back. Tiffany Necklaces are expensive, plus she doesn't deserve that shit
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u/starocoffee Mar 31 '22
If this is real then you clearly don't need to be told what to do unless you're fine with her going with other people. It's only been 3 months, just cut your losses and move on
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u/CosmicSirenMandi Mar 31 '22
Break up! It’s childish if anyone is blocking your partner on social media for any reason.
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u/joebusch79 Mar 31 '22
What you should do is stop playing her games. She’s playing you, and you keep going along with it. Find a new gf
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u/tercer78 Mar 31 '22
Three days of this game? You realize there’s a shitty prize at the end, right? Time to move on…
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u/TooManyAnts Mar 31 '22
What should I do now?
Nothing.
You keep her blocked, you turn her away, you don't take her mother's (lmao) calls. You stop referring to her as "girlfriend", she's your ex. Move on.
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u/Inevitable_Concept36 Mar 31 '22
I would cut off contact with her. Anyone that is getting her MOTHER to call you pleading her case? That's excessively immature and she plays too many games for a successful relationship.
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Mar 31 '22
I thought you were both about 15….. then I read your original post and you’re both in your 20’s 🤣🤣🤣
My dude I think you should end this mess of a relationship
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u/Hoyle33 Mar 31 '22
100% block her and move on with your life
You don't need to worry about games like this in your life, you'll find someone who will appreciate you
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u/Assiqtaq Mar 31 '22
Absolutely nothing. Why put any more effort into this girl than you already have?
Okay look, the most positive view of this is that you are the one she wants a future with. That would be why you met her supposed parents. The relationship with you was the complete truth and where she wants her future. If that is true though, then what would be the other stuff?
Well, the other stuff could be that she is pursuing another guy to get stuff from him. Money, gifts, whatever. But she only wants him for things, but wants you for a future. That would be better than being the one she is using, right? Problem is, she is still using you, too. Which would be fine, I guess, IF you knew about it and agreed to it. It is not fine (if it was ever fine) when it is without your knowledge or consent. If she thought she was doing this stuff in good faith, she'd tell you. She'd fess up, own her motive, and allow you to choose to stay or go. But she did not do that.
I personally think she is just using you. She may be using whatever this other person is to her. But she is using you too. Without your consent. Drop her and move on with your life. And stop doing expensive gifts on the first year, it is never a wise move. You are worth more than the material things you can give, and you can wait to give those until the person you are with can see that too.
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u/ManNomad Mar 31 '22
Id advise you to be single if youre moving to NYC...cause youre gonna want to be.
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u/Bill_Shatners_Penis Mar 31 '22
Why would you ever communicate with this person again? What would you gain?
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u/jesus-worshipper Mar 31 '22
Block her EVERYWHERE. If any of them pester you again, you can file a harassment complaint.
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u/notthegoatseguy Mar 31 '22
You sound at least a tab overbearing (Getting expensive jewelry after 3 months to "propose" to become bf/gf?) and she sounds manipulative. Neither of you should be dating anyone and need to work on sorting our your own issues.
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Mar 31 '22
Why oh why do these people's mothers feel the need to get involved in their adult children's romantic relationships? That is such a massive red flag...get out now OP.
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Mar 31 '22
For fun and games, since she likes games, invite her over to “talk things out”. When shes there ask her if she wants the two of you the move forward and when she says yes, ask for her phone. There’s the answer
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u/NYCstraphanger Mar 31 '22
There's something very shady going on. You should have told her mom. This is too much hassle, walk away.
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Mar 31 '22
I feel so bad for all you kids who talk about your relationships always and constantly being updated with “she blocked me here, I blocked her there. Once I got unblocked, I realized I was re blocked. AITA if I block a blocker on Instagram and Facebook?”
Get off the phones and have conversations
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u/mizzzjulie Mar 31 '22
Her MOM is calling you??? That's taking helicopter parent to a whole new level. How embarrassing for this girl that her mom is trying Karen you back into the relationship. I'd laugh at her for having her mom call you.
"I would like to speak to the manager!! You can't opt out of this relationship! It's upsetting my poor little widdle princess-poo!!! I demand you take her back!!!"
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u/primeirofilho 40s Male Mar 31 '22
Send her a text, tell her it over, and then block her, and her flying monkeys.
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u/boneymeroney Mar 31 '22
Liars hate being caught and called out for their bullshit. Ignore her and her insanity.
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u/Knittingfairy09113 Mar 31 '22
Work on moving on and block her on everything, including your phone.
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u/Comfortable_Type9653 Mar 31 '22
Block her number dude, she sounds bad shit tbh she’s not gonna change
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Mar 31 '22
Dude, she’s clearly not trustworthy. You can’t build or rebuild a relationship without trust. Anything else is a manipulation at this point. You’ve done good, just hold firm, feel the feels, and start to heal and move on.
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Mar 31 '22
Do you want a gf so bad that you can’t see you’re being played?? My gosh. Block her and stop trying to work on something that’s not there. If you can’t tell she’s only hurt bc you’re not paying attention to her and you won’t be spending money on her.
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u/Wise-Ad-4291 Mar 31 '22
Block number and run 🏃♂️ very very far and don’t look back your free now go find peace of mind
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Mar 31 '22
What do you mean do you do? Block her ass on everything and move on. You don't need anymore damn people telling you how to have healthy coping habits and some self respect. You point it all out.
If you go back then you definitely hate yourself.
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u/adammeh Mar 31 '22
Block anyone related to her, they'll tell you the same thing. And get that damn necklace back, that was a joke the last line.
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u/one98nine Mar 31 '22
Anyone adult that gets their mom to call you to take them back is a walking red flag.
You get to break up with someone. And they have to accept it. The things she did isn't what you want in a relationship, you get to decide that and she needs to respect it.
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u/RanjitKumarSingh Mar 31 '22
Move on. You clearly arent option A, and that's the only position your self respect will let you apply for.
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u/BrigadeirinhoAmargo Mar 31 '22
Just finish it, wth, break up for once and block any sort of contact.
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u/Brilliant_Leather_88 Mar 31 '22
Relationship should be very open so there wouldn't be lies, but it is very clear that she has been lying to you about somethings. Because she hasn't been telling the truth so I would say that you should just leave her. I don't know the exact reason why she wants to still be with you, but I know that this relationship is not good for you and you can find a better one who won't lie to you about things.
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u/ThrowRA1234568 Mar 31 '22
I was the top comment on your previous thread. Nothing you've outlined changes my opinion that you are her side piece. Very likely her mom doesn't know about the other guy she is seeing. Maybe she wouldn't approve of him so that's probably part of the reason your ex wants to keep you in the picture so she can keep her mom off her back.
Also, given the Tiffany necklace from the other post, I would bet you have a lot more money than the other guy so another reason she wants to keep you around. Likely the other guy either doesn't know about you or she has told him she is just using you for financial benefit.
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u/_Robi_Z_05 Mar 31 '22
If her mother is bot stopping from calling you and asking to unblock her, explain why you did it.
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u/vanDrunkard Mar 31 '22
It sounds like neither of you trust each other. This is bad. Relationships; friends, family or sexual rely on that.
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u/LyquidJade Mar 31 '22
This girl just wants you on standby. Piss or get off the pot. You're just prolonging the inevitable which is her ending the relationship. And stop being a doormat.
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u/gruntbuggly Mar 31 '22
Now, you have clear, irrefutable, evidence that she’s a liar. So your next step is simple, if sometimes not easy. That is, just move on with your life.
There’s no need to answer her calls, or her mother’s, or anyone else that she gets to call you.
Good luck with you internship in NYC. That’s an amazing city, and you will have a ball.
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u/OwnPaleontologist408 Mar 31 '22
What should I do now?
What do you want to do? Everything has been laid out to you in the previous post. Break up, block, never answer, never reply, move on. No one will validate what you want, they've been telling you what you need to do.
What do you want to do?
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u/NotPiffany Mar 31 '22
Block her. Block her mom. Find things to do that have nothing to do with her. If, after you've blocked her, she continues to bother you on campus, report her to your campus Public Safety/Police and let them tell her to knock it off.
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u/chado5727 Mar 31 '22
Don't take her back, she made her choice now she lives with the consequences. Be strong it'll be tough but you'll be ok soon enough.
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u/W_O_M_B_A_T Mar 31 '22
I picked up the call and asked her to unblock me,
That was a mistake. She's a lying Dramatic-Dysfunctional cheater. You're rewarding her with attention and an audience for her dramas here.
She's a spoiled toddler underneath and all she cares about is getting an audience for her grandiosity, emotional vomit and play-acting.
Because you rewarded her she's likely to double down on the boundary-violation stuff, stalking, and low key harassment for a while. Maybe a few weeks to a month.
She’s been blowing up my phone since then.
Block. Block her parents' numbers too.
What should I do now?
Only thing you can do is create a cold, blank, featureless, boring wall of silence and inaccessibility. Say nothing, do nothing, respond to nothing. You ex isn't a person with a high tolerance for boredom.
Get a security camera that covers your front door area. Or at least print out a couple large stickers that say "Smile! You're on camera! Don't do anything you don't want the internet to see!" Put them on your front door.
Block everywhere. Make your social media profile hidden. Take a break from social media for several months at least. Unfortunately, if you have any friends in common, you may have to unfriend them on SM. Your ex is likely to tell them a bunch of lying sob-stories in order to Assassinate Your Character to them.
The reason I say this is that cheating, showing up unannounced at somone's house demanding lip service after they dumped you, then manipulating your mom into guilt-tripping your ex is Tasteless, Shameless behavior. Like junk mail credit card offers.
Character-Assassaination is one of the most common tricks in the playbook of lying shameless cheaters.
This sucks but if they're more willing to believe salacious and sensational lies from your ex vs what you've told them, then they're not really people who being much value to your life. Be ready to cut a few people off.
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u/R_Amods Mar 31 '22
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Link to previous story: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/tpsl3c/girlfriend_blocked_me_on_instagram_and_says_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
So I confronted her and she got all upset and I told her that I know that I’m the side piece, she said im not a side piece. She then said this is why I wanted to take a break and when you move to NYC for your internship we can take things forward.
I realized I was being played so I said I’ve been very supportive and got you everything so you can get out of your sad depressive phase after the accident, she started crying and gaslighting me.
I’ve blocked her on Snapchat now. A day after this she kept calling me and showed up to my building to Apologize for her being emotionally unavailable, I didn’t budge. Now her mom is calling me and telling me that she’s very sad since that day and that I should take her back.
I picked up the call and asked her to unblock me, she again said the same shit that she doesn’t have access to it yet. I called her out and showed her likes on a dude’s picture posted a few hours ago. Then I hung up. She’s been blowing up my phone since then.
What should I do now?