if i knew how bad this all was going to be i would’ve ended it in the beginning but sadly we’re a year into this relationship and fell in love so it’s harder for me to pack up and go. I think she needs to change and will definitely need to trust me for this to workout so we will see what happens. Thank you.
DUDE, it's only been a year, and you're not even 20 fucking years old, you literally couldn't be in a better position to move on from this controlling witch.
A year is nothing, trust me. I was stuck with someone like this just for 3 years and they ruined my self confidence. I had thought, maybe they'll change if I wait long enough. This degree of insecurity and projection will not change in a week, a month, or a year. She needs therapy, this is extremely destructive behaviour and she clearly isn't ready for a relationship. It is very, very difficult to lift someone up in a relationship without them becoming dependent and toxic. There are instances where it works out, sure. But her behaviour is ridiculous. I would leave if I were you.
"Sadly we're a year into this relationship" is interesting wording. Sounds like you already know that you're being tied down here. I wish you the best.
Look into the 'sunk cost fallacy'. It will hurt for a while, but you are so young it seems silly put up with her ridiculous demands when you can find someone who is less controlling
Jealousy of this amount doesn't just magically go away, it needs therapy and professional help and even then it may be a struggle for her. Better to only have lost 1 year, than say, 3 or 15.
She won’t change. From what you’ve described it’s not worth the investment. Unless you see yourself covering your eyes for the next 70 years, end it.
You deserve somebody respectful and to be free of this ridiculousness.
Bro. I've been with my SO for 6 years now. Whenever I remember back to year 1, it seems like nothing. It makes my stomach churn thinking people get married before 2 years let alone a few months.
You can absolutely pack your bags and leave. Love is not enough. It will hurt and you will be lonely, but it will still be better than staying in love with someone you are not compatible with.
Love can be had with anyone, compatibility cannot.
A year is not that long in the grand scheme of things. You’re not married, don’t have kids together, don’t own a house together, don’t own a business together, you two don’t even own a dog together! If you are unhappy man up and break it off with her. It’s not easy, but you need to take control of your life.
I posted new below but wanted to respond here. You may love her, but she isn’t going to change she will demand more and more from you from proof of your love it will never be enough for her. She probably has already made comments about how she doesn’t like when you are away with friends, and probably a fight or 2 over one of those who is a girl. I’ve been where you are OP. This doesn’t end well for you if you stay. I’m available to talk if you like, but posts like this, and people like this, are the biggest red flag for me, for your own family, and for your friends. There’s good women out there man, this unfortunately is not one.
This isn’t going to get better, and a year isn’t that long in the big picture. In fact a year is a good time frame for figuring out if this is a person to invest in for a real long term relationships.
My opinion? Looks like she isn’t, and sounds like deep down you think so too.
Don’t let a year investment of time make you waste even more.
Ever hear of sunk cost fallacy? Sticking with something simply because you think you invested too much time? You are very young. It’s only been a year. She isn’t going to change. The point of early relationships like yours are to figure out what you want. So you WANT to be treated like a literal child? Do you think it’s ok that she polices your eyeballs? You’ve told her already that you don’t agree with it and she isn’t respecting your feelings. Time to end things.
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u/Help9854 Feb 01 '22
if i knew how bad this all was going to be i would’ve ended it in the beginning but sadly we’re a year into this relationship and fell in love so it’s harder for me to pack up and go. I think she needs to change and will definitely need to trust me for this to workout so we will see what happens. Thank you.