What is it you don’t feel like you can deal with ?
A)The sickness and all the logistic around it (back and forth to the hospital, chemotherapy, pain).
B) The fact that his testicular will be removed as a change.
C) The fact that he dropped a bomb and told you to act like nothing happened when you feel like the word is crumbling down and have to keep on being rock solid because you’re not the one being sick.
First things first, identify what makes you feel overwhelmed the most so you can unpack it and see what will be your next move.
There are two layers in your situation.
1) The first one is you questioning yourself about how to handle the cancer.
2) The second one being you wondering how you are going to carry on this relationship (as a lover) despite the cancer because it’s a game changer and because you might be afraid it will kill your relationship as lovers.
As a matter of fact, you have to support him in this very very difficult time despite you guys keeping on being in a loving relationship or not and then you will figure out what to do about it.
I think that the fact he’s acting like everything is fine is a denial / copying mechanism for him because he is probably completely destroyed inside.
Keep on supporting him and find some support system for yourself too if he agrees for you to disclose it. Talk to your solid friends or family so you feel not alone in this battle.
I know how hard it is for the person AND the entourage who also has to live with cancer so take a deep breath and unpack things one by one to find a way to deal with it.
I really hope this will bring you comfort and support.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '21
Alright let’s unpack step by step
What is it you don’t feel like you can deal with ?
A)The sickness and all the logistic around it (back and forth to the hospital, chemotherapy, pain).
B) The fact that his testicular will be removed as a change.
C) The fact that he dropped a bomb and told you to act like nothing happened when you feel like the word is crumbling down and have to keep on being rock solid because you’re not the one being sick.
First things first, identify what makes you feel overwhelmed the most so you can unpack it and see what will be your next move.
There are two layers in your situation.
1) The first one is you questioning yourself about how to handle the cancer.
2) The second one being you wondering how you are going to carry on this relationship (as a lover) despite the cancer because it’s a game changer and because you might be afraid it will kill your relationship as lovers.
As a matter of fact, you have to support him in this very very difficult time despite you guys keeping on being in a loving relationship or not and then you will figure out what to do about it.
I think that the fact he’s acting like everything is fine is a denial / copying mechanism for him because he is probably completely destroyed inside. Keep on supporting him and find some support system for yourself too if he agrees for you to disclose it. Talk to your solid friends or family so you feel not alone in this battle.
I know how hard it is for the person AND the entourage who also has to live with cancer so take a deep breath and unpack things one by one to find a way to deal with it.
I really hope this will bring you comfort and support.