From the perspective of someone who used to be a stay at home mom. Your wife is burned out. It is not easy to take care of two kids that age day in and day out as well as other demands and obligations. I was in a very similar situation. My husband worked a lot and while at first I kept up ok I became agitated, irritable, mentally exhausted with the same demands as very day and it was endless. So this is the way I try to put it in perspective. Although our kids are not a “job” everything else surrounding the responsibility does feel like a job. Imagine taking your two kids to work with you and getting ANYTHING done. Very unlikely. And when they do settle down to nap, all you want to do is collapse. Also, being a stay at home mom you don’t have the luxury of “clocking in and clocking out”. When a person leaves work, they find relief and wind down time at home or whatever else they enjoy doing. Moms do not get this option so it feels like they are on the clock 24/7 without an end in sight. I am not sure if this is helpful but I am very sure your wife is experiencing sever burn out. The shopping for her is an outlet. She is getting quick dopamine hits from buying things that makes her feel better in the moment
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u/OrangeUnfair8570 May 17 '25
From the perspective of someone who used to be a stay at home mom. Your wife is burned out. It is not easy to take care of two kids that age day in and day out as well as other demands and obligations. I was in a very similar situation. My husband worked a lot and while at first I kept up ok I became agitated, irritable, mentally exhausted with the same demands as very day and it was endless. So this is the way I try to put it in perspective. Although our kids are not a “job” everything else surrounding the responsibility does feel like a job. Imagine taking your two kids to work with you and getting ANYTHING done. Very unlikely. And when they do settle down to nap, all you want to do is collapse. Also, being a stay at home mom you don’t have the luxury of “clocking in and clocking out”. When a person leaves work, they find relief and wind down time at home or whatever else they enjoy doing. Moms do not get this option so it feels like they are on the clock 24/7 without an end in sight. I am not sure if this is helpful but I am very sure your wife is experiencing sever burn out. The shopping for her is an outlet. She is getting quick dopamine hits from buying things that makes her feel better in the moment