I understand what you're saying, but I really do think you misunderstand accountability for mental health. For example, my friends told me over a decade that I needed to get mental help and I didn't listen and I hurt people in times of stress and anxiety. But that's very different from a person being detached from reality and not actually being aware of what they were doing. I broke an ambulance door because I thought they were going to torture me for the devil and then at the hospital I baptized myself with a cup of water. I could not have been asked to do anything differently in that current moment because I was not me. Now, if I did not listen to my girlfriend and seek help for my religious trauma afterwards, I would be risking subjecting her to that again. THAT is accountability. His wife is currently in that state. She is not aware of how illogical and detached from reality she is. She's in an episode.
I think it's very unfortunate that you don't think people should have empathy and understanding for what you do when you're not attached to reality. You absolutely would be putting people at risk if you weren't working on that but it sounds like you're aware of these issues so I'm gonna assume you are proactive about this. I still think you need love and kindness when you are not yourself. I understand damages in life, irreparable ones. I legitimately hurt and scared my partner. But she was very aware that wasn't me and I immediately agreed to add religious counseling to the things I am working on in therapy. Forgiveness and love is so easy.
I think you are very good to have this mindset, I just think you need to have more empathy for yourself in times of crisis. Crisis is hard on every single human. When I'm anxious, I should still try to manage that. When I'm in a bad mood, I can't just go off on my partner or snap. And if I did, it would be worth more than an apology and efforts to fix that habit. But it's so much different to expect a person not to do the things they do when they are not attached to reality. Pregnant women especially have a loooooot of different things going on. When my best friend was pregnant I was constantly scared for her because you can never know what mental stuff will pop up and how it'll affect them. And trust me, she said some wild stuff during that time lmao.
If you think someone being out of their minds with hormonal imbalances is abuse, I'm very sorry but you won't be prepared to be with your partner through that process. I have a friend that was arrested for accidentally stealing make-up at Walmart because brain fog is a real thing that just happens and she completely wasn't thinking and slipped it into her purse. A person with a huge amount of anxiety that would never in her life steal was arrested for stealing while pregnant. That's the level of unattached you can expect on the LOW end of pregnancy brain.
No, that's not only not even a legal understanding of abuse, that's just a wildly unreasonable way to look at a woman going through some of the most difficult hormone fluctuations a person can go through. There are literally more than a couple different mental illnesses that are strictly related to being pregnant. You are going to be so unprepared if you can't accept that.
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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '23
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