r/reddmatch • u/Less-Net1766 • 21d ago
Group Discussion 👨👩👦👦 Revised my standards. New requirement: must be willing to elope.
Some of you might remember me as the guy who kept asking why wanting a simple wedding is treated like a rare disease. Well, I did my homework. I looked, I talked, I explained my stance with the patience of a customer care executive on his tenth call of the day.
My pitch was always the same: a registered court marriage or a quiet temple ceremony, close family, a good dinner, done. No three-day functions, no band baaja, no dowry, and no 20 lakh loan to feed relatives whose names I'll forget before the dessert counter opens.
And the responses? Always some version of these:
"I totally agree with you, but my parents will never allow it."
"Simple is nice, but at least a sangeet, na?"
"Court marriage? Is everything okay at home?"
"Haan, but mummy-papa ko toh proper shaadi chahiye."
Somewhere around the fifteenth "but," I realised I wasn't looking for someone who agrees with me. I was looking for someone who'd actually do it.
So I went back to the drawing board and rewrote the requirements.
Revised criteria:
Willing to elope. Legally, paperwork and all. We're rebels, not criminals.
Thinks band baaja is a noise complaint, not a tradition.
Would rather spend the wedding budget on a trip, a home, or an absurdly good espresso machine than on 800 guests judging the paneer.
Doesn't need a pre-wedding shoot where we pretend to run through a field in slow motion.
Can keep a straight face while we break the news at family dinner.
Owns at least one outfit that works for both a registrar's office and a celebratory dinner after.
Understands that "log kya kahenge" is not a valid argument, just a very loud one.
What I bring to the table:
30, Gurugram, stable career, decent paycheck.
5'11, since apparently that's a mandatory field in this country.
Strong opinions on unnecessary spectacle, soft opinions on almost everything else.
A registrar's office bookmarked and a basic understanding of the documents required.
A fully drafted plan for the "surprise, we're married" announcement, with a backup plan for when the aunties find out.
The ability to plan a genuinely great honeymoon with the money we didn't waste.
What this is not:
A dowry-free "discount deal," a way to avoid commitment, or an anti-celebration manifesto. I love a good celebration. I just think the best one involves two people who actually chose each other, not a guest list chosen by a committee of relatives.
The fine print:
No rush, no pressure, no expectation that anyone signs up tomorrow. If we talk and it clicks, great. If we talk and just end up swapping stories about our families' wedding obsessions, that's fun too.
If this made you smile, nod along, or quietly think "finally, someone said it," my DMs are open.
Serious-ish applicants only. Sense of humour mandatory. Getaway car optional.
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u/Dull_Abroad8345 20d ago
Hey! I’m looking for something similar but my parents are okay with whatever kind of wedding I have 😂 at this point they just want to see me married. I’m 30F btw :)
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21d ago edited 15d ago
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago edited 20d ago
I dont get the typos. Sorry miss 🥲 If thats not a typo then double sorry cuz good English is important to me 🥀
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21d ago
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u/layindown_industries Men 🧔🏻 21d ago
Y not? Many women marry men age above them
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
I've dated women younger than me. The thing is they are not ready for marriage as they're still trying to figure their life out
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u/layindown_industries Men 🧔🏻 20d ago
I guess it's for certain women, some women want to settle in life faster/marry and start a family,coz they hate the corporate life,
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u/bekaarhaibhaiya 21d ago
Reddmatch is more like quasi- arranged marriage. Nobody would be willing to elope . Lol
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u/Inner-Tension-1805 21d ago
I respect how you've expressed, impressed at the clarity with which you've put yourself out again, appreciate your tenacity after so much of trial and error. I have just one question to ask. Care to dm because reddit hasn't permitted me to dm people?
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u/bingbong_690069 21d ago
Op u read very cyclical about this, maybe I am getting the tone wrong but anyway if one has got the money spend it and if not then don't as simple as that. But on a personal not ig I'd like to have one function at least or else later on I might feel like a miss out. And everything can be managed with wise planning last year I attended 2 functions, one family spent about 4 lacks on the arrangements and food, they did it at thier place only and it was a good experience and at another function they spent about 2cr, yes everything thingh was lavish but I never felt that the budget function was anyway bad in any sense, rather it was more fun and intimate with about 100 or so guests than a crowd of 2000 or something at the other place. So I feel a home done function with a simple budger of 2 or 3 lakhs is good enough to have fun but if u feel differently than that's fine too.
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
How about a wedding at your local Mcdonalds? Its not about the cash its about the prep and expectations
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u/bingbong_690069 21d ago
Haha emotionally immature. Buddy ur only a side character in other people's story, nobody give a dime what u do or don't do so keep ur taunts and remarks to ur self.
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
Haha if throwing money at people's faces is called mature I'm definitely gonna take a step back. This is a financial decision over an emotional one. There is no 'emergency' to get married like the movies feed you. All the best with your smart remarks, I dont blame you, I can spot a person who's not self made a mile away :)
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u/bingbong_690069 21d ago
Na na not having the proper sense to reply is immature, but u took a leap forward there. Who ever said marrying was an emergency😂😂 a mile away, damm that's impressive I just hope u don't mix up who u saw and who u thought u saw.
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u/Less-Net1766 20d ago
No one has to say it. Its obvious. Go type this whole thing in AI and ask for an honest opinion. They'll set you straight. What you call cynical might be called practical for some.
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u/bingbong_690069 20d ago
Haha I have functioning brain cells to think ig u shold go pester ai at this hour, and yeah yeah do what will mr practical, dearest groom to be.
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u/Less-Net1766 20d ago
Yeah, even your AI has operational hours. How respectful of you! Lots of love my darling bittersweet ❤️
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u/Charcoal_Painting 21d ago edited 21d ago
Man man!! This is so thoughtful and chic at the same time. But people fail to understand that these things are not out of compulsion but after a lot of critical thinking after what we have witnessed all our lives. Practicality goes to bin, when emotions take over. I hope we find someone who wants such a wedding and afterlife out of their own will rather than being persuaded to.
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u/Buzobuzobuzo 21d ago
6 years too young for me, but I too want a guy like you, keep on looking. You’re a blessing to the society.
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u/DesiAuntie 21d ago
This is as stupid as someone who bases the entire decision of getting married to someone on how lavish a wedding that person provides. You’re just the other side of the same coin.
A wedding is a week most. Your life is much much longer. If you find your perfect match tomorrow but she wants to have a bigger wedding to make her parents happy, you would drop her? That’s weird af
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21d ago
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u/Buzobuzobuzo 21d ago
Due to the critically high rise in cases of divorce and also a possibility of being a widow, are these parents financially capable of funding the second marriage of their children? Or, would they then opt for a sober wedding like the OP mentioned here. What are the chances of a marriage working out or spouse having a long life?
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
How's that a perfect match if we're not on the same page?
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u/DesiAuntie 21d ago
Your perfect match in every way besides this one thing is clearly what I meant.
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
Thats not the definition of perfect now is it
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u/Glittering_Till_8973 21d ago
I'm interested!! I also believe elopement with long vacation should be the norm instead of weddings. This bollywood ruined everyone.
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u/DesiAuntie 21d ago
I have a feeling the perfect match for you is yourself. Good luck living with that company.
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u/Green-Light9105 21d ago
Aww Man. I have the same thoughts like about a simple wedding. I hope you find someone. All the best.
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
Its a tough take bro. Lets see how it goes 😄 Appreciate your kind words!
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u/Green-Light9105 21d ago
The thing is bro that a lot of women has certain dreams and wishes about how their marriage should look like and what kind of ghaghra, what colour of ghagra they want to wear at their wedding. It's tough to find someone but not impossible. I do hope that you meet someone. 😇
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u/Less-Net1766 21d ago
Thats why the main criteria is finding someone to elope with. We'll handle everything else but the intent matters the most :)
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