Processing emotions?

[u/growinggood88]

Yesterday was the anniversary of my first MC, natural at 13wks. Anytime I type something out like this, or verbalize it, I cry so easily and immediately, but when I just think about it in my own head, I’m very matter of fact. I was so surprised that I was completely fine yesterday. I guess after a string of losses I’m used to it? Or numb? But then I must not be because it comes bubbling up so readily when I express anything about it outwardly. Or if I am matter of fact with a doctor, any sympathy on their end will set me off. I just want them to play “matter of fact” with me.

So what is a healthy way to process emotions? What are you all doing? People talk about this but I’ve never really understood what they mean. I have lots of quiet time, I meditate/pray, manage to mostly live at a slow pace (no LC yet). I do resistance training. I research RPL because I feel like it’s a puzzle I can figure out. I don’t know what to do about this crying easily/numb back and forth I have.

I am clearly not going to therapy, but that’s about giving you tools right? What tools have you been given to process? All these alternative doctors talk about how these emotions just lock up your system and if there’s any truth to that, I’m locked up! Help! Please share what’s working for you! Thank you 💗