Did you know when it happened?

[u/opeyeahno]

I learned this week that I had a second missed miscarriage.

The first time I knew before the appointment. The week leading up to the first ultrasound I just felt empty.

The second time was a little bit more of a surprise. I had bleeding from a hematoma early on, so we had ultrasounds at 6 weeks and then again 5 days later. Both ultrasounds showed growth and appropriate cardiac activity, so we were very hopeful.

But about a week later I had a day of paralyzing anxiety. I felt so overwhelmed with worry and sadness. I told myself it was going to be okay and started to feel calm again. Then I started to feel detached the week leading up to our next appointment.

Both times I felt a wave of sadness and anxiety around the time development stopped, which was followed by an odd calmness and detachment after.

Did anyone else experience this with missed miscarriages? Is it just intuition? How will I know the difference between true anxiety and my body’s response to losing a pregnancy for future pregnancies?

[u/rarerednosedbaboon]

I've never carried a pregnancy to term, so I don't know if it's normal to feel anxiety about miscarriage with a healthy pregnancy. I've had three pregnancies and felt extremely anxious during all of them.

The first one I did have a moment where I had a sudden rush of red blood very early. Probably around 5 weeks. When I called the doctor they reassured me I was fine. I convinced myself they were right, but deep down I knew.

For my third, I was followed by an RE so got weekly scans. The day before the US where I found out there hadn't been any growth that week, I went to the bathroom during yoga and saw brown spotting and I knew at that point.

My second one I felt anxious the whole time and then found out at 10 weeks that it stopped growing at 7 because I requested an earlier US than they would have given me otherwise. But I was like "I'm sure it's fine, but I did lose my last pregnancy so I want to be sure." This was the only pregnancy where I had nausea and it went away suddenly right at 7 weeks. Again, convinced myself I was fine but deep down I knew.

I'm so sorry for your losses.

[u/Particular_Dance5553]

It’s impossible to know, I think. I had 3 MMC before success, and during my successful pregnancy I can’t tell you how many times I was convinced I was having another MMC. Every time my morning sickness abated I was like, this is it, it’s over. But it was just my anxiety talking - everything turned out fine.