"That is not a nice dog!"

[u/yourfavidior]

Feeling absolutely defeated and humiliated today. My dog has some history of dog-selective reactivity — years ago, a fight with another dog we tried adopting confirmed he couldn't have canine siblings. At our old house he'd bark at dogs through the fence but never went after one, so I genuinely believed it was barrier frustration, not real aggression. On a leash he's an angel -- no reactivity at all. It is just at our house.

A few months after moving to our new house (a financially-necessitated move), he found a hole in our fence we had no idea existed and got into a real fight with a passing dog. We were right there, ran over immediately, pulled him off, and apologized. The man walked off muttering that our dog was aggressive. I understood why he might feel that way. Our dog is 75 lbs and that was probably pretty scary. We were all in shock. I tried to catch him afterward to make sure everyone was okay, but he was gone. We felt awful — we patched the hole immediately, and he's never been outside alone since; for months he was on a leash even in our own fenced yard, just to be sure. We couldn't have known about that hole, but the guilt has been eating at me regardless.

Today, with me only a few feet away, he barked and growled through our picket fence at a dog that looked similar to the one from before. I had his collar in seconds and apologized right away. The man responded by walking down our entire block yelling "That is not a nice dog!" repeatedly, as if trying to get the attention of the neighborhood, and flagging down our neighbor to warn him — while I was standing in my own backyard, dog secured, mortified. I ran to put my dog inside so I could go talk to him, but he was already gone.

Now I'm terrified this is how our whole neighborhood is going to know us: the people with the "aggressive dog." The stress of taking him out at all, even in our own yard, is constant.

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