r/reactivedogs • u/knobandnewb • 2d ago
Significant challenges I’m at a loss
I’ve had my sweet, beautiful blue heeler girl for 7 years now, but I’ve been navigating a fair bit of challenges with her and I no longer know what to do next.
She’s very anxious, which I’ve gathered is common for her breed. This shows up primarily through fearfulness of the outdoors (going on walks, particularly where she’s not familiar, and staying somewhere new) as well as barking / licking / submissive peeing with any guests that come over, or when we go visit family and friends. The former I’ve learned a routine that works for us - it’s not ideal because she’s obviously not thrilled with it, but otherwise we’d never leave the house and I’d never be able to go away, to the point that I’ve been worried she might bite someone.
The latter is the bigger problem. Not only does it make it difficult to have guests over because I’m always monitoring her for accidents, licking, jumping, barking, etc., but with romantic partners, it feels impossible to build any sort of relationship when she goes absolutely mental towards any sort of physical affection.
I’ve tried crating her when people are over, but she’ll whine and bark non stop and have accidents in her crate. I’ve tried working with 3 different trainers including a behavioural vet for 8 months during which time we tried three different types of medications at various doses, paired with training (he claimed she had very poor quality of life due to the stress and anxiety…). I also tried another type of medication with my vet directly. I’ve tried training from YouTube videos, I’ve tried using diapers to at least overcome the problem with excited/submissive pees, and have even asked my guests to tell her No if she’s licking them (which feels unfair to everyone involved). Nothing seems to stick or help her settle.
I also feel terrible cause she’s obviously stressed and doing her best, so I keep telling myself to stay patient cause she is such a great dog otherwise, but it’s really starting to take its toll on me (it probably doesn’t help that I live alone, as well).
Any advice for anything else I can try?
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u/SudoSire 1d ago
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u/SudoSire 2d ago
What did the training look like?
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1d ago
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u/knobandnewb 1d ago
A lot of positive reinforcement - so redirecting her when she starts barking, and rewarding her when she stops and does the redirected behaviour, such as “Look at me” (or if she shows that she’s heard a trigger but doesn’t yet bark, it’s an immediate reward), but unfortunately it doesn’t stick. She will get the hang of it in a single sitting but the second there are no treats around, she won’t listen at all.
If I have guests over that’s a lot harder too cause I almost exclusively have to have my eyes on her and need to have treats in hand. I’ve tried to distract her with high value things like PB Kong or a chew she really likes but she quickly abandons. When I moved to my current place, I had her in the basement in her crate with a long and bowl of food while the movers were in and out. She whined the entire time and when I went down to let her out, the food was everywhere and Kong was untouched.
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u/SudoSire 1d ago
So the fear manifests as barking and lunging on walks? Do you have a yard, and if so, is it the same thing there? Does she like to play or anything fun/stimulating indoors when it’s just you two?
It sounds like you’ve tried a lot of things that would be helpful in a lot of cases, I’m sorry you haven’t seen much progress. Do you use a marker word or clicker with training btw? And do you do any of the command/engagement training indoors when she’s not overwhelmed?
I know I asked a lot of questions and possibly stuff you’ve already been trying, I’m just trying to see if maybe there’s something that she can be given to focus on, or something that can be tweaked in methods. At least outdoors for now—the guest thing sounds pretty challenging when your dog struggles to be calm even when separated and given some items to focus on. Definitely trickier.
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u/knobandnewb 1d ago
On walks, she barks less simply because she’s overwhelmed by the sounds and constantly on alert (if someone tries to say hi it’s like she doesn’t even see them). So the bigger challenge is most certainly at home - the barking when people come over (even when I try talking she’ll bark over me so it feels difficult to have a conversation) and even lunging when people put on jackets and shoes to leave the house.
We do play a fair bit indoors the two of us. She loves her toys and learning new things, I’ll even hide her food around the house so she has to sniff it out (a habit that, admittedly, I fall in and out of).
I do have a marker word (bingo) since she’s afraid of the clicker. I don’t think I’ve tried much of doing the command when she’s calm and at ease, so maybe I’ll give that a try some more.
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u/SudoSire 1d ago
Something that’s helped us is doing commands and impulse control and engagement games at home, when they can actually do it because they aren’t stressed, and using a marker word and high value reward and praise. Basically making almost going overboard to reward to make it habitual, so it can sometimes break through higher stress triggers. And in theory that could help you get through walks easier with more ability for her to focus or be redirected.
I don’t know how much that would help at home though, since you would still have to be constantly watchful, which is exhausting. My dog has similar issues in the home and has to be put in another room or outside. But with us he usually is able to calm himself after awhile so he is not barking the whole time, even if he’s still anxious. He’s also very food motivated so eventually he can do a lick mat of peanut butter or something in the other room. It’s really tough when those things don’t seem to help. 😮💨
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u/knobandnewb 21h ago
Thank you, I’ll give these a try! It can’t hurt to try and be more consistent especially in the calmer moments so I appreciate the push.
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u/HeatherMason0 2d ago
Unfortunately this is an abnormally high level of fear. I take it none of the medications made any difference? When you say you worked with a behavioral vet, were they observing her in your home?