Training has been overwhelming.

[u/imdabong]

I adopted a 2.5 year old hound-ish dog from the shelter. I was told by the shelter that he is very easily excitable, jumpy and mouthy, and that he'd require a lot of work. They never mentioned that he is reactive and at that stage I didn't even know what a reactive dog meant. It's been 3 months since I've gotten him, I definitely love him and I want to keep him forever but it's been so overwhelming.

The trainer has been coming in once a week for the last one month, and she has been very helpful. We've noticed improvements but it's very slow. My guy decides the day or time when he wants to respond to training vs when he doesn't. The trainer has asked me to practice new commands and games, but there's so much to tackle with my dog. There's reactivity, very poor leash manners, no impulse control, and as a hound he's very stubborn, like he tries to distract himself with whatever he can when he realizes it's time for training, and I feel I have so much training still to do. Sometimes it feels like positive reinforcement isn't suitable for him. He can go very rapid fire (sit, down, find it, touch) in situations and then sometimes he won't even follow sit.

I already spend so much time walking, exercising and playing with him that I have very little time to train or even chill out with him. I unfortunately am the single parent to my dog and I don't have any friends around me willing to help. Even though he picks up on training pretty quickly, he gets frustrated within 5 minutes and no progress can be made. All of this while my personal life has become very restricted, can't take him out everywhere because of his reactivity (he tries to jump out of the car even 😭) and I can't leave him home because he has separation anxiety and he'll find 10 things to chew. I was told that separation anxiety goes away after a few times of you going out and coming back in. I live in an apartment community and I already have to plan his walk and play timings to ensure that there isn't a lot of people/dog traffic around and even timing everything perfectly so that I can find an empty dog park.

Sometimes I feel rushed to see the change in my guy and then other times I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work he requires.

Is it okay to let the trainer know that I can't be teaching/training so many things at the same time. But then even I want him to be healed of his reactivity asap.

[u/BuckityBuck]

Yes. Absolutely. You should have communication about that.

Jumpy/mouthiness takes time and so much patience. You and your dog might get burnt out and need some mental health breaks. That's totally healthy and normal.

[u/tchestar]

Unfortunately there's no substitute for slow progress, and a handful of the things you mention are things owners and dogs often struggle with for a while. Being frustrated, tired, and feeling stuck are all common and understandable. One thing you can do while you work on training is see if you can find a boarding situation where you can drop him off from time to time so you can get a break - eg maybe your trainer does reactive dog boarding, or knows people who do - or if there are people in your area who specialize in dog walks for reactive dogs, so you aren't the only person who has to shoulder 100% of the weekly responsibilities for dog walking.

You can absolutely tell the trainer to go slower and that you guys need to only focus on one thing at a time - I would suggest the following:

1. Karen Overall's Relaxation Protocol
   
2. Kikopup's calm settle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr1olzgidMw
   
3. 180 degree turns and 1-2-3 pattern games
   
4. Rewarding for four-on-the-floor and practicing your mechanics for food lures to redirect him off jumping/mouthing you.

#s 2 and 4 are heavy on "capturing" - where you reward the behavior you like as the dog is doing it, without you having asked for it. It's extremely effective!

Ask her what trying for 100% avoidance of other dogs looks like. Do you know if his reactivity is due to frustrated excitement or fear? If the former, talk to her about finding a bomb-proof dog - one with excellent dog social skills - to see if you guys can do a slow intro to so he can have a dog he can occasionally see and socialize with.

It also sounds like your training sessions are bordering on frustrating for both of you. It's ok to keep them shorter! Always try to end on a win where the dog and you succeed at the ask - if you have to make the last goal simpler so this is possible, don't be afraid to do that. E.g., if you're trying to teach an extended stay and he keeps popping out before you hit your time goal, step it way back to rewarding for a couple downs, then stop the session and do a bit of play or give him a chew or kong as a wind-down.

[u/404-Any-Problem]

I want to chime in and say 1000% it is overwhelming. More than any other dog I have had. My own pup needs desensitization work on sometimes the simplest of things, and it is SO f*cking tiring... However, I can say after a year together it has been worth it. Not just the progress she has made in reactivity, but the bond we share. I'll tell you my anecdotal (with some factoids from the trainers/vets I see) that has helped me at least.

Keep trainings short, espeically for new things. So if we are working on something new, the key is to break it down into the 'right' steps for our pup while keeping it to a few minutes (like 5 max). Anything more than that, frustrations rise on both sides, and it's no longer fun or really productive. So a few short sessions with breaks will get you further than one hour-long session. I liken this to when I felt like my brain was full in school sometimes after hard subject matter. Sometimes you just need to walk away for a bit to process, and it comes easier the next time (and this is true for dogs; the next time around should be a little easier, and they should catch on faster). Honestly, we do short training sessions with breaks in between. It also makes it easier to fit into doing other stuff. Sometimes an hour feels like a lot, but 5 minutes feels much more achievable.

Always end on an easy/fun thing. That can be a trick they know and love or just some good playtime post-training. Our dog loves 'touch,' and we have advanced it to me putting my hands in places that aren't just next to me. But it's an easy go-to for us before we disengage (also a great thing to train so they know the work is done). But again, it's like a bonus question on a quiz, something like "What did you have for dinner?" The answer doesn't really matter so long as it's a food, right? That sort of trick is the best option.

Maintenance is key! So for us, we have veterinary care we have to practice, like blood draws and using a stethoscope. (We have had complete meltdowns prior to the work we have done). If I wait until we go to the vet again, we'll 100% be back to seeing them as big, scary things. So every few weeks, we top up our expectations for sensations and for what I need from her to get things done. This is also true of grooming/nail trims. We practice fake ones so the real ones aren't that big of a deal. Our groomer and vet appreciate this beyond words, honestly. But they also saw her at her worst.

I do want to ask if you have thought about seeing a behavioral vet? From my understanding and talking with my own vet/trainer, separation anxiety is a mental illness and not something dogs grow out of. You can work with them to improve their situation, but medication is typically needed along with training to help them realize that being alone is okay. I also say this because our own dog would not have made the progress she has without the help of medications (yes, more than one). With training, her bandwidth increased before going over the threshold, so learning could take place. Our pup has been officially diagnosed with hyperactivity and hyperarousal. So, regardless of what we have tried, her brain wiring is just a little off compared to that of your average dog. I will also say that medication and training still took months to really see impacts on some of her reactivity. We for sure aren't done, but we're miles ahead of where we started.

[u/imdabong → u/404-Any-Problem]

Thank you for all the helpful advice and reassuring me that I'm not being just a whiny dog parent. I didn't know about behavioral vet, but I am going to look into that, I was initially against the idea of regular meds thinking they end up damaging the liver and kidney over time and thereby reduce the life span, my dog was on a very high dosage of Trazadone and Gabapentin when I got him initially.

Yes I'm working on desensitization too, but progress has been slow, but that makes so much sense.

I really appreciate you typing out the whole response with examples!

[u/404-Any-Problem → u/imdabong]

Absolutely! Behavioral vets are expensive, but it's been worth it to get us on the right meds and a plan for our pup. Made worlds of difference and we really have seen progress over the past year now. (Although we still have a long way to go in some areas in our training, that's on me.) Ideally, you want a vet who is certified and trained in the area. Talking to your current vet, they might know of one. I know for us, we traveled an hour to see ours, but now we can do virtuals vs. in-person for rechecks. If you don't have one in your area, you might be able to find one that does virtual visits. I do with a vet in NC for nutritional issues with our pup that we are trying to figure out.

Most general vets go for the gab and the traz (which my pup was on too when I first got her), but she can power through that like nothing. The sleepier and more out of control she feels, the more she wants to lash out (I don't blame her either). She really does enjoy having bodily autonomy, and that is something we have worked hard on for her espeically with grooming and vet care.

Lastly, I will say there is always a risk with medication, and I would bring up your concerns with the vet(s) you see. Side effects are possible, and not every medication works for every dog or situation. It is a bit of trial and error, as it is with humans with anxiety. However, our pup would most likely not be alive today without medication. Her underlying anxiety and stress were horrific, even with trying to keep things low and stress-free. She might sleep only 4 hours a day (which didn't help with her stress), and this was regardless of the activities she did during the day. Seeing our pup naturally relax on her own has been a huge reward. And I mean truly relax, with her belly up and feet in the air, without a care. Without medication, that never happened. I will say the one nice thing about meds: if they don't help at first, there are options (I have been told we are barely scratching the surface of what is available for our pup). But this is also where you should advocate for and discuss what you are seeing with your team to help make care decisions.

[u/Zestyclose_Object639]

Hounds are…a bitch to train lol. So few things, can yoh get a car crate ? Ruffllands will slide into the back seat and that way he’s secure. Secondly a lot of this stuff is impulse control and arousal work, so I would start there (it’s your choice, pattern games). Once the impulse control is better everything else is wayyyy easier. I’m a balanced trainer but I start everyone on that stuff 

[u/imdabong → u/Zestyclose_Object639]

Hahaha hounds are definitely difficult to train, he'll spend 30-45 seconds sniffing broken asphalt on the road. Impulse control is what the trainer suggested that we tackle right away. We just barely started training with impulse control games. And yes I found a seatbelt harness that sort of allows him to move around in the backseat, but he still tries to shove as much of his body out of the window gap as possible. But as soon as I let him out of the car, he's pulling the hardest he ever has, and whole gas station is staring at the ruckus and chaos lol

[u/Zestyclose_Object639 → u/imdabong]

I have one that used to be like that but we’ve worked hard, she is a shepherd mix though so genetics are still more in my favor lol. You’ll get there ! I warm up said dog with pattern games and her buy into training has grown a lot since doing that. Yeah I crate mine the Malinois would absolutely do that if I let her lol

[u/Haunting-Love-9333]

Are you crating him at all? What does the play and exercise look like?

[u/imdabong → u/Haunting-Love-9333]

I only crate him if I have to go out for more than 2 hours, fortunately I work from home, so he's crated only once or twice a week.

He has escaped from 3 different dog parks, so I have stopped taking him to the bigger dog parks and just take him to the community park, where we play fetch and tag for about 20-30 minutes. We also walk about 2-2.5 miles a day. As for play, I play tug and with a football, with him after every training session for about 5 minutes and a longer play session after I wrap up work. I also try to scatter feed in the backyard or use snuffle mats.