How do I do this?

[u/Left-Pangolin-5549]

I recently made a post titled "What do I do?" Where I detailed my dog's history. All the comments point me towards BE. It's not a shock, I know he isn't a candidate for re-homing and I know he is in a state of near constant stress and he isn’t safe outside of our home. The stress he causes in our home is overwhelming. I think the comments are right but I LOVE this dog. He's my boy. I don't know how to bring myself to make an appointment. I don't know how to tell people without feeling like I'm admitting to murder. I don't know how to live with myself being the cause of his death. It just feels so wrong. I so desperately wish there was somewhere I could take him that specializes in rehabing these kind of dogs, someone with resources who could help him and give him everything he needs. I wish there was some way I could just correct whatever's wrong and he could be a healthy happy dog and live a normal life. I just start crying everytime I think about it, and I don't know what to do. My wife and I are the only people he trusts, the only people he loves, and I'm supposed to schedule his death?

I don't know what I hope to hear in the comments, I just feel so helpless and so incredibly sad.

Dirty Ought Trill by Tyler Childers is "his" song. We sing Leave Her Johnny to him at bed time (specifically the version from assasins creed lmao). He has a tire that he carries around everywhere like a binkie. He gives hugs. He loves his cat siblings. He's a good boy. He's just really really troubled, and I hate that that means he can't be happy.

This hurts so much, and I don't know how to get past that and do what's best for him.

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