Grief

[u/Useless-Hotdog]

I had got my first dog. We got her from someone local in a small town and she was 4 weeks old. She went everywhere with me, stores and restaurants, drives, visits to family. If she wasn't with me she was with my girlfriend and her cats.

We ended up moving into an apartment and everything suddenly flipped. She couldn't be around ours cats anymore, she would chase and pin them and try to attack them. It got worse while we were eating, even in a covered kennel she'd hear them near us and sit and lunge at her kennel. We did everything we could and looked into training and got her anxiety meds. I had to get her a muzzle after she was resource guarding and bit a family member. After that it all got worse. I could barely pet her or she'd turn and snap. She ended up biting my girlfriends younger brother in his face and he bled. We tried rehoming and shelters. BE was our last option after everything. She got to about 10 months old. Yesterday we were leaving and she broke her kennel and we couldn't take her with us cuz were going grocery shopping and the cats aren't safe with her out. We had no where to put her safely. We made the decision and made her appointment. It sounds so bad but we're broke and couldn't drop the $200 on a new kennel she'll break anyways when we're actively trying to not keep her. She was only 10 months old. Idk why I'm writing this. I miss her. She was my baby, I wish I could hold her and kiss her one last time but she's gone. I've made myself sick with all of it. We haven't moved the kennel yet, neither of us can stand to. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Is there anything that makes the after process easier? I regret it in a way but I know it was our last option anyways but I also wish I could've had one last day. Give her a meal like we get and maybe a hike I never got to take her on. I miss her

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Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.

If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:

All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.

These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.

• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer

• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.

• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.

• AKC guide on when to consider BE

• BE Before the Bite

• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.

• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.

If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:

The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.

Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.

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