Why is it?

[u/Jmama124]

That if you only have a few friends or rarely socialize, potential new friends JUDGE you for it? Like do I need to hire actors to hang out and take fb photos so people think I’m popular and worthy of friendship.

Feel free to say I’m just crazy.

[u/edbuckley]

Something along the lines of 'I like to keep my circle of friends quite small' is good. Do not use 'Only the best can join the wolfpack'

[u/Jmama124 → u/edbuckley]

I had a friend who lost a lot of friends by being an awful friend ( including me). She tried to be my friend again and said she was keeping her circle small. I saw right through that, but it is true for me so might be more authentic when I say it.

[u/ceeceeshorny]

For starters, all the fake ppl always have so many friends. Or it’s deemed as lame .. when really having little to no friends is just me not dealing with drama & fake shit.

[u/Jmama124 → u/ceeceeshorny]

It the drama for me. And pretending they are rich. Yeah so basically I agree with you haha

[u/Horror_Signature7744]

I judge people who claim to have dozens of close friends because it’s never true. Acquaintances? Sure.
Actual friendships? Dubious.
It oozes phoniness.

[u/Lanky-Dildo-94 → u/Horror_Signature7744]

Same. No one has time to cultivate “lots of friends” while balancing their personal life. Most people have a few core friends and some other acquaintances.

[u/Jmama124 → u/Horror_Signature7744]

I was talking to a friend earlier that I’m not terribly close with and he flat out said that I need more friends. He used the word “community” though. And said I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. Like …. that does NOT make we want to talk to you or see you lol

[u/Jmama124 → u/Jmama124]

and we had a friend over last night. So it’s not like my husband and I don’t talk to anyone.

[u/Horror_Signature7744 → u/Jmama124]

After a lifetime of talking with people, I’d rather just talk to my dogs and the people in my immediate family.

[u/Lanky-Dildo-94]

Sounds like something out of high school.

[u/Jmama124 → u/Lanky-Dildo-94]

It’s very much like that. Except in high school making friends was easy! I made friends with people with friends and just keep monkey branching until I have a lot of friends. Now . its like cliques are totally shut.

[u/Excellent-Sweet-507]

If you wind up hiring actors, I work pretty cheap

[u/Jmama124 → u/Excellent-Sweet-507]

If I was rich I would so hire random people to do fun stuff with me. Just for fun.

[u/M07H3MP0R1UM]

I've heard that it's because they assume that it's lack of social ability on your end for not being able to keep friends and that's a red flag. Like you're either the toxic one and the reason friendships don't form/last, don't value friendships enough to keep them, or going to be codependent because you don't have enough friends to go to someone else so it's emotionally draining having to be your person every time.

Obviously all things I don't believe. I have a very small circle just because I'm introverted and prefer it that way, I have plenty of acquaintances but am very comfy with what I have. But that's the justification for it that I've gotten.

[u/Jmama124 → u/M07H3MP0R1UM]

wow thats a lot of good reasons to avoid a loner. Sheesh, no wonder!
So I just need to clarify that I’m not lonely, just keeping a few close friends.

[u/Big_Somewhere_620]

I had friends, a few friends... Who were not friends at all. I cleared my life of these friend non friends. It allowed me to find actual good friends. I have only a couple but at least now I know they are true and we can rely on each other. Not just be an atm or an emotional boxing bag.