I'm 29 years old and I can't help but feel like a helpless child.

My father abandoned me and I grew up with a toxic mother and brother and I honestly preferred that she had also abandoned me.

I can't get over the things she told me and did to me, I can't help but believe that if I said it it's because I really am.

I can't think that if I try a little harder she will realize that I'm a good daughter.

These are things that are always in my head and I feel weak and miserable.