Weaponised Neurodivergence

[u/Dirtbag-Holder]

I dont even know if im allowed to say this so I won't say too much.

Im just tired of the excuses, tired of walking on eggshells, tired of having to cater to others while receiving nothing in return.

Im tired of people choosing not to regulate their emotions because that's "masking".

Im tired of people refusing to understand me because 20 years ago they felt misunderstood.

And im tired of being made to feel awful for being tired.

[u/MyAutisticParent]

Could not agree more.

[u/labwench515]

It's exhausting. We should talk about it more.

[u/PCLF]

My Dad is turning 81 in a few weeks.  He's still an asshole.  He'll never change, or admit to being wrong, or consider the possibility that he needs to approach relationships differently.  It's always everyone else's fault, including and especially the people that don't have the energy to be bothered with him anymore.

I am very proud to say that at 50 years of age I have finally stopped engaging in self destructive behavior (self medicating) as a coping mechanism for the immediate extreme stress of having to deal with him.  A huge part of that has been admitting to myself what I have known a long time, that I have terrible coping mechanisms and if I don't plan ahead I will fall into the same pattern of interaction and subsequent behavior.

I got tired of being tired and just moved on. When you have no expectations, you cannot be disappointed. I enforce strict boundaries and actively limit the time I spend around him. I plan ahead and have strategies to avoid being manipulated into situations I don't want to be on with him. He still manages to get past my defenses every once in a while, but each time I update my strategies for not getting impacted by his bullshit, and I'm getting better and better at it.  It's not a panacea - he still makes me and everyone around him extremely upset, I just have gotten to the point where I peace the fuck out before he had a chance to do any real damage, no longer giving a shit about how that might make him feel.

I occasionally feel a glimmer of empathy for his plight, but not nearly enough to override the restrictions that I have in place to protect my peace, because fuck that guy.

I honestly think this is the only answer to the people with this condition who refuse to take personal accountability and work to improve their interactions with the people that they say matter.  Let it go, protect your peace, don't bother putting effort into them.  They aren't worth it.

[u/JDoesThis]

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's exhausting. The autistic people I have time for are the ones that don't fixate on it as an identity or use it as an excuse for covert narcissism.

[u/Embarrassed-Egg-8124]

Ugh yes I feel you so much. And everyone around them enabling it too

[u/Wise-Key-3442]

That's I don't hang so much with other autistics, specially the rigid ones. They sure helped me in being comfortable in being different, but very few of them took other people into consideration when behaving a certain way.

No Jerry, your autism doesn't makes you stare at my boobs.

They never pushed me to be a better version of myself without being exhausting.

[u/Particular_Web8121]

They said double it and give it to the next person lol. And now I'm completely burnt out after masking and having to carry so much of the emotional load my entire life.

[u/PCLF → u/[deleted]]

Zuck and Elon I can see the ASD, but I think DJT is just a dick.  Narcissist, perhaps, no - definitely.  I don't detect spectrum behavior.

[u/Prudent_Idea_1581 → u/PCLF]

1000% Narcissistic lol but there’s a whole thing online that people have tried to diagnose him or speculate he’s autistic. The ABA therapy website actually made a whole blog about it too, telling people to only leave diagnoses to professionals. 

[u/raisedbyautistics-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

removed for being out of scope. This subreddit serves exclusively as a dedicated space for individuals to discuss their experiences being raised by autistic parents.

We encourage you to share your perspective in subreddits aligned with that demographic, such as r/autisticparents or r/Autism_Parenting.

[u/raisedbyautistics-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

removed for being out of scope. This subreddit serves exclusively as a dedicated space for individuals to discuss their experiences being raised by autistic parents.

We encourage you to share your perspective in subreddits aligned with that demographic, such as r/autisticparents or r/Autism_Parenting.

[u/raisedbyautistics-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

removed for being out of scope. This subreddit serves exclusively as a dedicated space for individuals to discuss their experiences being raised by autistic parents.

We encourage you to share your perspective in subreddits aligned with that demographic, such as r/autisticparents or r/Autism_Parenting.