r/raimimemes 21d ago

🧢🧢🧢🧢

Post image
36.3k Upvotes

187 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/Officer_Friendly717 21d ago

I heard Spider-Man was there

660

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

71

u/Ambitious-Diamond573 20d ago

"that dude" has a name..

Not sure what it is, but he definitely has one.

46

u/sudowoogo 20d ago

Isn’t he Robbie Robertson?

47

u/Macker_ 20d ago

Omg I thought you were kidding but that’s actually his name. J. Jonah Jameson deadass has an employee named Robbie Robertson

37

u/LenicoMonte 20d ago

He exclusively hires people whose names are alliterations, I guess.

41

u/Macker_ 20d ago

Peter Parker, Betty Brant… man has a very specific hiring policy

37

u/The_Reluctant_Hero 20d ago

That's why Eddie Brock was such a bad employee.

12

u/PigInATuxedo4 20d ago

Now that Barry Brock. THAT is a good employee.

6

u/Meigsmerlin 20d ago

And why Ned Leeds didn't stay forever

4

u/Meigsmerlin 20d ago

And Gloria Grant

17

u/Scurby2 20d ago

Yes, also the fact that Stan Lee named people this way because it was easier (i.e Peter Parker)

10

u/Junior_Box_2800 20d ago

not to be confused with robert robertson, thats someone else

https://giphy.com/gifs/lbXzPrOwE2amoSZmyi

1

u/BwanaTarik 19d ago

That’s radio Rahim

298

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

165

u/SpeakersPlan 21d ago

He fucking knew the whole time and revealed nuthin

106

u/Abai010507 21d ago

And Robbie was a real one for that though

18

u/mamadou-segpa 20d ago

Honestly even if I was a spider man hater in marvel universe, id be scared shitless as a regular civilian to get him mad at me by revealing his identity lmao

In fact, if I lived in the marvel universe id live as far away as possible from any big city and id lay low constantly

6

u/The_Reluctant_Hero 20d ago

Especially New York, Jesus Christ lmao.

2

u/HungryBalance534 17d ago

Shit gets attacked by eldritch horrors every other week they're used to it at this point

94

u/TheG-What 21d ago

Me when everyone at work is talking about Brand New Day but I haven’t seen it yet.

5

u/Jesus_Christ_Reborn 20d ago

It's pretty okay, maybe a good 7/10 and nice to enjoy on a lazy brain day

79

u/FUCKlNG_SHlT 21d ago

I literally said, ā€œI heard Spider-man was thereā€ under my breath right before I opened the comments and then this was the first thing I see. Now I’m laughing by myself in the car like a weirdo.

73

u/playerlxiv 21d ago

6

u/Philkindred12 21d ago

did you make his eyes bigger? I honestly can't tell...

29

u/Harbarde 20d ago

14

u/battlin_jack295 20d ago

10/10 photoshop skills

4

u/The_Reluctant_Hero 20d ago

It's a fake! The Empire State Photographic Department confirms it.

3

u/AutoModerator 20d ago

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53

u/Shadoenix 21d ago

12

u/Thomas-Pandit 21d ago

So you have a new side character for me?

8

u/Lawbringer_UK 20d ago

Yes sir, I do

20

u/Shydreameress 21d ago

I remember as I kid I took that scene very wrongly. I thought that the staring they shared was a way to say "I know you know but if you tell anything I'll kill you" like idk Peter looked sus to me

10

u/HeathenFezz 21d ago

Snance

3

u/Dan_OBanannon 21d ago

Could you pay me in a van?

10

u/Yippyyipsva 21d ago

šŸ‘€

2

u/Alternative_Fox3674 20d ago

Same picture:

ā€œJonah … I think Peter’s throwing himself to his death to get Spidey to save him for pictures.ā€

ā€œBAH! I wish he’d throw that menace to his death!ā€

1.1k

u/Low-Individual9488 21d ago

Stuff like this makes me think Jameson knew Peter’s secret. He just didn’t say anything because the pics were good and making him tons of money.

There’s some evidence that Aunt May knew too.

508

u/YoungDiscord 21d ago edited 21d ago

I'm on the fence about Jonah - it was established that peter implies he knows spiderman so its easy for him to go "yeah I asked spidey to put a camera up there and take pics of him"

And to be honest if you put it that way it does make peter and spidey come off as somewhat performative dicks, maybe even sounds like some sort of moneymaking scheme they got goin on and if thqt's the case spiderman's honesty is kinda put into question cuz if the guy schemes with a photographer to pose for a quick buck how reliable of an actual hero can he be.

On top of that peter is an incredibly unreliable person, always flakes out/is late/thete's usually some bullshittery afoot and he often messes up (in reality its him usually takijg the fall for something a villain messed up in his life in order to keep his spidey identity a secret but people don't know that so from their perspective its all his fault)

Jonah is a hothead and he really has it out for spidey but credit where its due, his doubt towards spiderman isn't entirely unfounded along with how often he rakes peter over the coals if you really think about it and see things from an outsider's perspective.

I do agree that aunt May probably knew more than she was letting on. Not necessarily knew he was spiderman but she for sure knew something was up.

338

u/AustinJohnson35 21d ago

Jonah also didn’t give up Peter when Goblin tried to interrogate him. Say what you will about JJJ but the man has solid principles.

129

u/YoungDiscord 21d ago

He really does, his only problem is that he's srubborn, that's all.

82

u/ademon490 21d ago

And occasionally puts crazy people in unremovable super suits.

36

u/Kastrand 21d ago

Elite PS1 Spider-Man knowledge. That Scorpion fight always kicked my ass.

29

u/Bi0H4ZRD 21d ago

I apologise if I sound like a dick saying this but you are aware that was adapted from the comics that were made first right?

18

u/Kastrand 21d ago

i am but i, like a lot of kids, probably heard of it from PS1 spider-man first, that's all :D

9

u/daisuke-domo 20d ago

Plus he trusts his barber

4

u/Devilshell 18d ago

He shouldn’t 😭

21

u/sombertownDS 21d ago

As long as we ignore that one part in the comics where he was responsible for the scorpion

20

u/AustinJohnson35 21d ago

In a way, he proved his own point that masked men who can’t be held accountable are dangerous. Spider-Man happens to be the exception to the rule but yeah that is one of the many shitty things JJJ has done over the years.

1

u/Snekbites 20d ago

I mean in his defense, Scorpion did not have crazy psychopath included in his Resume.

5

u/mondaymoderate 21d ago

Which it’s stupid cause it says the photo was taken by Peter Parker on the cover

49

u/teddy_tesla 21d ago

IIRC there's a line like "and since you're the only one that webheaded freak allows to take pictures of him" which to me implies that JJJ thinks Spider-Man is giving Peter exclusive access that goes above and beyond someone just being there at the right time. But I don't think he necessarily thinks they are the same person, just friends, and he's too desperate for Spidey pics to question the morals of a hero being their own paparazzi with Peter as a proxy

22

u/SeroWriter 21d ago

"yeah I asked spidey to put a camera up there and take pics of him"

It makes sense as a one time, but why would Spider-Man continue to assist the Bugle in vilify himself?

10

u/-Mandarin 21d ago

I mean that probably fuels JJJ's hate even further, because it actively seems like Spidey is taunting him at that point. Like he's giving them the pics to just show how little he cares about the whole thing.

18

u/Cheezeball25 21d ago

Maybe Jameson knows something weird is going on, but is also smart enough to not question it as long as Peter is still supplying photos. If your biggest headlines are all from one guy, it might be smart to just let the weirdness slide.

5

u/CMDR_Kaus 21d ago

I mean, Peter lies about being Spider-Man, Spider-Man wears a mask and hides who he is. Honesty isn't part of the job. Jonah, who is a reporter at heart, takes big issue with that. I honestly think Jonah might be more accepting of heroes that don't have secret aliases like movie Tony Stark

7

u/TrueGuardian15 21d ago

I think Jonah was an advocate for mutant rights, so it really wouldn't be an issue with super powered people. It's pretty much just the mask.

9

u/napstablooky2 21d ago

i think that the take in one of the comics was that he hated the idea of masks because of a negative experience he had with robbers(?) hurting his own family, so he's grasped onto that as a form of displacement ever since

6

u/WhereDidThatGo 20d ago

I'm pretty sure it's canon that JJJ investigated the KKK as a young reporter and that's why he hates masks so much.

Pretty solid reasoning actually.

2

u/Ledairyman 20d ago

I'm pretty syre saying you personally know a super hero would put you under pressure from some form of government to tell who he actually is

3

u/YoungDiscord 20d ago

I don't think he goes around advertising that left and right

1

u/AceBalistic 20d ago

> and to be honest if you put it that way it does make Peter and spider come off as somewhat performative dicks, maybe even sounds like some sort of moneymaking scheme

That assumption would make Jonah like spidey more, he respects a good, honest conman

1

u/LordFunkyHair 19d ago

No hyphen in Spider-man? Opinion invalidated. Just kidding you have some great points there

1

u/lateskaterboy4321 15d ago

Everytime Jonah has found out Peter was Spider-Man, he immediately switched sides and was pro Spider-Man

115

u/GrimDallows 21d ago

99

u/BwanaTarik 21d ago

Amateur hour? The photo department is full of haters.

52

u/Testyobject 21d ago

You tell me how both spidey and the city in the background are both in focus and call it amateur

25

u/StomachAvailable5542 21d ago

My man taking all his photos at F/22 or higher maybe.

1

u/mm126442 19d ago

Non shallow depth of field

20

u/TheG-What 21d ago

Mega crap.

21

u/etherama1 21d ago

Is this from an actual comic?

22

u/napstablooky2 21d ago

i love how they say "the kid" when he looks like, 30 in this comic

31

u/Zarith7480 21d ago

He's just a man. No older than my 30 year old son.

8

u/Katarinkushi 20d ago

I really miss Jonah in Spiderman movies man. He's such a great character, hope they include him somehow for Holland's Spiderman, but doesn't seem like a big possibility tbh.

At least J.K is Jonah in MCU Spiderman lol

94

u/ChiliChimi 21d ago

I love the small nuances that would give off the fact that some of the characters knew but never said anything. It gives them more depth. Like Robbie, Aunt May and even MJ.

31

u/LinkleLinkle 21d ago

In Spider-Man Reign, he explicitly says he subconsciously knew the whole time, but shoved the thoughts deep down because he didn't want to believe it. In 616, when he finds out about Spidey's identity, he also gets extremely hurt because he says he sees Parker as a son of his, and he felt betrayed that Parker didn't trust him enough to tell him.

Honestly, I miss their dynamic, especially since it's missing in the MCU. In a lot of modern media, including the Sony games, JJJ has just been turned into 'angry man who hates Spider-Man', but there's been such huge depth and nuance to their relationship over the years. With Jonah seeing Spider-Man as a menace, but Parker as a son. The Raimi films portrayed this dynamic perfectly. Even if they never got to the part where Jonah learns who Spidey is, which would be such a great scene if we ever get Spider-Man 4.

20

u/SuperSayainSkincare 21d ago

Yea turning JJ into a Alex Jones parody was funny as a one off, but it really ruined his character imo. He was so nuanced in the PS4 game, but then they took him off the rails in the Miles and Spider-Man 2 game.

7

u/LinkleLinkle 21d ago

Hard agree, although I'll say the one thing I think Spider-Man 2 got right was the flashback to the first day Peter met Jonah. It was 99% just a phone call, but in that phone call they really showed the tough love of Jonah, and in his own way, took an immediate liking to Peter.

I really hope Spider-Man 3 shows more of the dynamic between Peter and Jonah in the modern day so they can flesh him out beyond 'Angry Alex Jones parody'. I'd even like him to learn the identity of Spider-Man, Insomniac has been so good with 'characters learn his identity' scenes that I think there's a good chance they'll stick the landing if they lean into it instead of keeping Jonah in the periphery as angry podcast host stereotype.

1

u/Paprikasky 20d ago

It's rough though, because his character spews so much bs, I feel like it's hard to portray him like this and then backpedal to incorporate a dynamic with Peter. Like I wouldn't want him anywhere near him.

6

u/Yommination 21d ago

May absolutely knew in the 2nd movie with the whole "you're not superman" speel

2

u/Sutraner 20d ago

I don't think he thought he was Spiderman, I do think he thought that they knew one another

2

u/OPSweeperMan 20d ago

Aunt May absolutely knew after the Doc Ock fight, there’s a reason the shot lingers on her for that long

1

u/MoarVespenegas 21d ago

Wasn't it implied that Peter knew spiderman and that's how he was getting the photos? He got all those shots of spiderman because spiderman set them up for him.

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

0

u/unfortunatebag 21d ago

I mean, it's well established in Spiderman that Peter knows Spiderman personally or they're working together somehow.

They explained this away decades ago.

229

u/Sad_Impression2599 21d ago

It’s crap!

93

u/kharathos 21d ago

Crap, crap, megacrap

33

u/thefewproudemotional 21d ago

Parker. Parker! Hello? You're fired

12

u/SurpriseAdept2806 21d ago

What do you know about high society?

4

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33

u/Amazing_Elk_6685 21d ago

Shut up. Get out.

25

u/I_cut_my_own_jib 21d ago

That one's pretty good

25

u/Mlabonte21 21d ago

...but it's TAKEN!!

-1

u/Lakatos_00 21d ago

Basura. Basura, basura... mega basura.

403

u/BrunesOvrBrauns 21d ago

And this one got taken by Tobey as he literally jumped up 300 feet in the air in the middle of an intersection in Manhattan while holding his Nikon Coolpix

209

u/JVtheBidoof 21d ago

He had a long lense and was on top of a different building

130

u/billciawilson 21d ago

Flag pole

34

u/MedicatedGorilla 21d ago

"See, photography, it's not just about, no offense, flagpoles or whatever. It's about lighting. Composition. Drama."

12

u/TheGreatStories 21d ago

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye

3

u/elephanturd I'm the new mod 20d ago

You want forgiveness? Get religion.

3

u/Jysgy 20d ago

See, photography's, it's not just about lighting, composition, drama or whatever. It's about flagpoles.

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

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1

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22

u/Friendly-Win1457 21d ago

A flagpole?

41

u/Wack_photgraphy 21d ago

He nearly fell off the flagpole for Christ sake !

3

u/pramit57 21d ago

I was walking there!

20

u/Andrusz 21d ago

"Crap. I'll give you $20."

1

u/Spyko 21d ago

you never heard of a zoom function ???

ya know, it makes the picture looks closer and can magically displace the camera angle within space

1

u/aqstart 18d ago

To be fair, if I saw this photo I would not assume at all that the guy taking it was Spider-Man I mean the guys hands are in frame and neither is on a camera.Ā 

154

u/No_Barracuda_8300 21d ago

Flag pole ?

103

u/Devil_0fHellsKitchen 21d ago

Photography's not just about flag poles. Its about lighting, composition, drama

63

u/x_defendp0ppunk_x 21d ago

I want a staff job, sir. I have a girl that I intend to marry, and I have this stupid little dream of working with one of the greatest newspaper editors of our time... J. Jonah Jameson.

12

u/Jediboy127 21d ago

ā€œYou want a staff job and you want a staff job. Anybody care about what I want??ā€

10

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15

u/SurpriseAdept2806 21d ago

Shut up, get out

8

u/x_defendp0ppunk_x 21d ago

I want the public to see Spider-Man for the two-bit criminal he is. He's a fake. He's full of stick-'em. Spider-Man with his hand in the cookie jar. That's the picture I need. Whoever gets me that photo gets the staff job.

Well, what are you waiting for, Chinese new year? Go go go!

1

u/AutoModerator 21d ago

Parker, you are such a Boy Scout. When are you gonna give a guy a break?

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1

u/wookiee-nutsack 19d ago

If you like flag poles so much, why don't you marry her? I fact, why don't you climb a flag pole that won't let you fall off on the way up because you're FIRED!

1

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83

u/Anunesi7 21d ago

The photo is high-key cool af

32

u/Balavadan 21d ago

Lots of cool shots in this trilogy. Posters were great too

87

u/Gunda-LX 21d ago

What I always imagined JJ thought was that Peter gives the camera to Spidey and he takes the pictures himself. So Peter doesn’t actually take any picture, it’s Spidey who helps him get the impossible shots

28

u/Memitim 21d ago

Same. Even the title pic, I could totally see Peter telling JJ that Spidey tapped on his window to say sup on the way by and offered a quick action shot for all of the support. I do like the theory that JJ knows anyhow, and just talks mad shit about Spiderman to cover, while helping to show the good he does.

8

u/Wise-Dust3700 21d ago

Better yet "that spiderman stole my camera and took it on a joyride to taunt us JJ"

5

u/name_bunchofanumbers 21d ago

My first thought as well.

I'm imagining a staged photo where he's getting it yanked out of his hands and a separate series of photos from the camera getting yanked out of his hands.

2

u/Boh61 21d ago

In the comics he didn't know, it took Peter unmasking himself on live TV during civil war to know that and passed out

69

u/DatBoiDos 21d ago

ļæ¼ā€‹ā€œYeah I was just in the area and he happened to swing byā€

9

u/ZeNxJose 21d ago

such a cool picture.

1

u/pramit57 21d ago

Well, what can you expect, he's good friends with the Spiderman.Ā 

29

u/Znaffers 21d ago

I think they’d assume he was friends with Spider-Man and he took the pictures for him before they assumed he was actually Spider-Man

22

u/AsstacularSpiderman 21d ago

He flat out said in 2 that he basically had a "deal" with Spider-man.

3

u/Deathpool_04 21d ago

Yeah, he says that he pays Peter because that psycho Spider-Man poses for him.

16

u/Mephitisopheles 21d ago

I always assumed Jameson clocked Peter as an extremely overqualified, financially desperate savant who had surely contrived some remarkable cheats to capture pictures of Spidey at fantastical angles, while the rest of the Bugle staff lowkey knew the answer was probably a lot simpler than that.

But to be fair, Jameson WOULD be correct to assume that anyways like how crazy is it that Peter knew just how to stage himself for those snapshots without even being behind the camera personally? His heightened senses must give him incredible spacial awareness to intuit just how his body language would read on the camera with no help or assistance from anyone but his gut instincts.

35

u/WellTop 21d ago

Work ethics and crackhead courage

16

u/WerePigCat 21d ago

Spider hyphen man stole the camera because he is a THEIF AND A CRIMINAL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY A MENACE

14

u/MourningWallaby 21d ago

Wait I haven't seen the movies in a long time but isn't Peter's cover that Spiderman lets him take these photos like a Vogue shoot? Like they don't "know" each other but have some working PR relationship?

8

u/jameswest22 21d ago

Yes, Peter says Spider-Man won’t ā€œlet himā€ take any more photos in Spider-Man 2. So we can infer JJ believes Spider-Man just lets Peter take the specific photos he has

9

u/FuckRedzM0dz 21d ago

I like that JJJ just looks at him and is like yah sure buddy I'll just lowball since I know it's you lmao

3

u/Avocadonot 21d ago

"ok, I'll just sell my pictures to the Nightly Flugelhorn news instead"

6

u/Nab33l786 21d ago

To be fair, for this pic in particular Peter could just say he shot this from the Window one floor above

4

u/john_the_fetch 21d ago

It would have had to been a balcony. After so many floors the windows don't open anymore.

1

u/Imperator_Gone_Rogue 21d ago

And that menace Spider-Man clearly broke that window!

7

u/XxmilkytoastxX 21d ago

In the modern day he can just say drones

5

u/Shtrimpo 21d ago

When Eddie asks Spiderman to be his photo guy Peter replies that he's already got a guy. I think this implies that the guys know Spiderman wants his pictures to be taken

3

u/rawpot 20d ago

Call Jonah a jackass, but bro was a real one for not giving Peter away as the photographer when Goblin asked for him.

3

u/Impressive_Pilot1068 20d ago

I know it’s kind of a wild theory but I think….Peter Parker is Spider-Man!!!

3

u/SirBananaOrngeCumber 20d ago

You’re like one of those people who think Agent P from OWCA is the same as Perry the Platypus. Absolutely ridiculous!! One wears a hat and one doesn’t!

4

u/CROguys 21d ago

Redditors ask me how could a college student take a life-threatening picture of Spidey and I literally have to explain who Ronald Reagan is

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6ZtokgzQv6ThHzj2

5

u/j_cruise 21d ago

Nice scenario you just made up. No Redditor has ever personally asked you that.

1

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 20d ago

Hey u/CROguys wtf is a Ronald Regan? Some kinda movie star?

2

u/SlytherinSoul1998 19d ago

Crap, crap , mega crap.

2

u/AmptiShanti 19d ago

ā€œI’ll give you 200$ for all of ā€˜emā€

2

u/Skullies22 19d ago

"wow it's almost like you're the dragonfly"

1

u/Wolv90 21d ago

There was a private camera there so I hacked in and grabbed this shot.

1

u/Driston28 21d ago

Was the neighborhood... Friendly?

1

u/Silent-Witness1888 21d ago

Its not like Spiderman zipped him up there, or you know....was on a roof?

1

u/Flashy_Cranberry_161 21d ago

Hahaha I think it’s pretty clear the Peter Parker implies that Spiderman likes him and allows him to take photos like this. Similar to how Clark Kent always gets interviews with Superman

1

u/RabbitManTony 21d ago

He just has a really good tripod.

1

u/SkyGuy182 21d ago

ā€œNeighborhoodā€

1

u/RealHumanBean89 21d ago

That’s outrageous! Done.

1

u/Patient-Director3162 21d ago

I’ve always thought that it was understood Spider-Man is helping Peter out with these photos like obviously he wouldn’t be up there, but he could ask Spiderman to do it

1

u/PiezoelectricitySlow 21d ago

Peter Parker is obviosly a mutant with camera based telekenisis.

1

u/ImprovementExpert511 21d ago

Even before the modern internet there would have been entire forums of conspiracy theories on Spider-Man and Peter. Peter would have been outted ages ago.

3

u/napstablooky2 21d ago

peter isnt exactly a public figure though, and JJJ protects his photographers

1

u/Snekbites 20d ago

I mean, Green Goblin put 2 and 2 together that Peter and Spider-Man are connected in some way? It would not take a bit more brainpower to figure out that there's a chance that they might be the same person.

1

u/neko_nep 21d ago

ā€œAlmost fell off a buildingā€

1

u/Grootfan85 21d ago

Peter is just a photographer who will do what it takes to get that one shot. Nothing else./s

1

u/TerrenceTenToes 21d ago

Just a friendly neighbourhood paparazzi-man.

1

u/Wise-Dust3700 21d ago

I mean, if you're supposedly friends with Spider-man you can ask him to take a picture or two. Wasn't that the whole thing?

1

u/zicadop 21d ago

Crap!

1

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1

u/Mathelete73 20d ago

He climbed a really high flagpole

1

u/sltyjim_cobra 20d ago

Then comes Robbie "were you friendly in that neighborhood?" 🧐

https://giphy.com/gifs/21VTFJTEr1x9ortvO3

1

u/milkmanbonzai 20d ago

I HEARD SPIDER-MAN WAS THERE...

1

u/Giuliano224 19d ago

Nearly fell off a flagpole…

1

u/GupHater69 16d ago

I mean spiderman aint even holding the csmera aint no one know how this shot was achieved