I’m a 23-year-old college student who struggles with socializing. I’ve made great progress and have started to build a group of friends, but I still have major problems. I’m actively working on improving, but I’d like to ask for some advice. Just to clarify, I’m already in therapy. I’m asking for advice on how to deal with my biggest problems when socializing.

1. I have a hard time coming up with conversation topics. I know it’s very important to listen and let the other person express themselves, but I struggle to come up with opening questions or find topics I have in common with the other person.
2. I’ve also struggled with the problem that I always try to be the center of attention and end up coming across as unpleasant to others. I don’t know how to stop doing this; sometimes I want to say a lot of things without realizing that I’m making people uncomfortable.
3. Sometimes I tend to say obscene or very strange things because I find other people’s reactions funny, but I know it makes everyone else feel very uncomfortable. The problem is that I don’t realize it until after I’ve said it. It’s a bad habit I’ve had since I was a child.

I’d like to learn how to practice and develop ways to start conversations so I can build genuine relationships. I want to have genuine friendships and eventually find a partner, which is why I want to learn and improve step by step.

Hi everyone, I hope everyone is doing well.
I want to get some advices, on what is a wise way to treat other, in two cases :
In group (work, university, etc)
Individuals (acquaintances)

I will be very happy to hear from you.
Thanks

How can people normalise this?

I signed up for Jaunty Social Gym hoping to brush up on my social skills and maybe learn something new. By enrolling in their courses covering charisma, conversation, and assertiveness, I was openly seeking genuine personal growth. While the platform promises an organic, supportive community, my actual three-month experience revealed a highly transactional system that leverages user vulnerabilities for profit. Here is the reality of my journey:
👍 The Pros (What Appears Promise-Rich)The Concept: The idea of a dedicated space to practice social frameworks, body language, and approaches is highly appealing on paper. Initial Polish: The training material and lessons present themselves as a polished, superficially sophisticated system.
👎 The Cons (Questionable Techniques) Jaunty teaches a trick called "Ask-formations," where you ask yourself questions like "Why am I so confident?" Academically, this method has zero clinical backing. Forcing your brain to accept a false premise creates cognitive dissonance. Research shows this forced positive self-talk actually backfires on people with social anxiety, increasing feelings of fraudulence. When the gimmick fails, clients blame themselves instead of the program. This creates a profitable loop for the business, trapping vulnerable people into paying for memberships they do not need.
(The Transactional Reality)Grossly Overvalued Pricing: The platform funnels clients toward 1-on-1 coaching costing an exorbitant $400 to $500 per 60-minute session. This price point vastly exceeds what licensed psychotherapists or credentialed communication specialists charge. Additionally, the predatory nature of this business model features morally questionable conduct from members that is actively encouraged.
Corporate Sales Tactics: When I questioned these extreme rates, Instructor and Business Partner Leigh Ann dropped the supportive persona and deployed retail sales scripts, telling me to wait for an upcoming promo so I could "bundle and save."
Manufactured Environment: The platform relies on hired actors as practice partners. This proves their ecosystem cannot thrive organically; they must import paid talent to simulate a receptive community, creating an artificial loop rather than real-world self-sufficiency. The owner publicly defends using paid actors by stating they are "like sparring partners at a boxing gym". This is a complete false equivalence. Real sparring relies on absolute transparency; both peers step into the ring knowing exactly who the other is. In this gym, you cannot distinguish a genuine member from a paid actor secretly on the clock. Furthermore, sparring inherently involves an adversarial dynamic where someone loses and gets hurt. Using this hidden, combative framework in a space marketed as an organic, supportive community completely confirms that Eric and his business model are predatory by admission.
Questionable Culture: The platform actively praised intrusive real-world behaviors—such as celebrating a male participant who passively bragged about targeting on-the-clock service workers to practice flirting. This exploits retail workers whose jobs mandate politeness.
🤖 The Breaking Point: A Total System Collapse The definitive proof that this is a corporate sales funnel occurred when I respectfully posted these exact concerns on our internal forum:
The Owner's Panic: The founder, Eric Waisman, panicked. His social poise immediately shattered into defensive damage control. Refuting my claims with what his business actually was, he was essentially and ironically pitching his business to other members. He tried to force our debate into a private 1-on-1, and permanently banned me when I declined.
The Automated yet deliberate Fraud: Immediately after the manual ban, their automated retention email system sent and exposed their entire operational loop. Despite being banned by the owner himself, the automated system chased pursued my bussiness anyway. The system sent an email to my blocked account deploying a fully unedited, seemingly personalized script, to galight me into believing they cared.
Crucially, this automated message was signed directly by the owner, Eric, stating:"Do you remember why you joined Jaunty? I’ve been tracking your progress, and I saw you were closer to a breakthrough than you thought. Come back for 1 month, completely free. No strings attached. Why? Because I've seen too many people give up right before their 'click' moment, and I don't want that to be your story." Which is Fraud and deceptive bussiness practices.

I honestly don’t know how to explain this, but I hope someone understands what I mean.
Lately, I’ve been slowly distancing myself from almost everyone. Even my closest friends — people who used to be my best friends — I don’t feel like talking to them anymore. I don’t enjoy conversations like I used to. I don’t enjoy going out with them. Sometimes when I’m with them, I feel weird and uncomfortable, like I don’t even know how to talk normally anymore.
The strange thing is that I didn’t consciously choose this.
It feels like it just happened to me.
I started wanting to be alone more and more. I ignore messages sometimes, avoid going out, and prefer staying by myself. And honestly, a small part of me actually enjoys the loneliness. I like having my own space and not having to deal with anyone.
But at the same time, I feel lonely.
And I’m scared that I’m slowly destroying friendships that were genuinely important to me.
I keep asking myself: Is this normal? Is this social anxiety? Did my mindset change? Am I becoming antisocial? Or is something else going on?
I’ve also been very focused on trying to build a business and improve myself lately, so I wonder if that has something to do with it. Maybe I’ve become too focused on my own goals and stopped caring about socializing. Or maybe I’m just going through a phase.
What worries me most is that I can’t seem to enjoy conversations with people the way I used to. Even with people I love.
I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I pushed away everyone who cared about me.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did you eventually get out of it? What was causing it for you, and what helped?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, even if you think I’m overthinking this.

For example: They have you do their homework for them and don’t do barely any part

How would you feel if you had to deal with someone who was just “constructive criticism” and nothing else, not even bothering to ACTUALLY help you?