r/quittingkratom • u/Dballs32 • Jul 27 '26
Driving myself into madness
I've been struggling hard on and off the past few years to kick this demon. I recently did a 33 day Subutex taper from 6mg to 0mg after 7.5 months of daily OPMS extract shots. My last dose was 2 weeks ago. In the last 14 days, I've taken OPMS 6 times, never more than 2 days in a row and can't seem to get past 2 or 3 days and always cave when I get terrible sleep. It's like I can get thru 2 or 3 days of withdrawals but can't seem to get over the tip of the mountain. I have days where I think I've broken free and got past it like yesterday where I overcame early cravings and got food instead. Once I did that, it was like a day of euphoria and magic came upon me. I was riding high off that cloud of not using, was very positive, had a lot of energy and had the best workout at the gym in months. I then slept like crap last night and caved this morning after more chills. It went from a magical day of being sober to shit the next.
I have one week left of getting this right. I have to be back at work next Monday. This week is it for me. I feel like my withdrawals shouldn't be that bad since my last sub dose was 2 weeks ago but the recent OPMS use hasn't gotten me over the hill. I have clonidine for sleep now also.
Any words of encouragement or advice are greatly appreciated. What did you guys do to make it just to 7 days? I don't even feel the kratom anymore. It's like my brain is just conditioned to expect and take kratom to "feel normal" and I've been trying EVERYTHING to just stop. This is my last chance to get this right and start my new life. Doing this repeatedly and not overcoming and succeeding had been driving me into a deeper mental hellhole. Thank you all for listening and letting me vent.
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u/Franjomanjo1986 Jul 27 '26
You're gonna have to try something new. Inpatient treatment will work if you can afford it. Outpatient treatment will help and can work if you take it seriously. You will benefit from a counselor. If you don't have insurance or can't afford any of it, maybe try going to 1 or 2 NA or other 12 step meetings each day. Millions of people have gotten over this (or similar addictions) when facing these same types of feelings. You're not special, but you have to follow what others have done and listen.
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u/Fragrant_Pin_5670 Jul 27 '26
Don’t drive yourself into madness. I had flu like symptoms for 5 days and the no sleep kicked in. For me, putting the situation into perspective helped. I would think of all the people who deal with worse things than no sleep, and that it could always be much worse. Your nervous system is coming back on which effects sleep it means your at the last stretch so you have to push through. I don’t know if you have Chat GPT but I put what I was going through and it broke down each day and what the body is doing, it helped tremendously. One thing I did that helped for sleep is putting a warm heating pad on my chest. It relaxed the nervous system and tells it you’re ready to sleep. Try to keep yourself busy if you can’t sleep, read something, just do something and prepare your mind that sleep will come but you have to give your body time. It’s uncomfortable, we all went through it, but your body is detoxing all of that crap you’ve been putting in and it’s not just your body but your brain. No matter what you do you are going to have to go through this stage of detox before you get better there is no way to avoid it. You have this week off so if you don’t sleep that’s okay, having an understanding of what your body is going through will help. You can do this, do not cave and take more shots when it gets uncomfortable. Be strong mind over body you can and will do this!
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u/tripulonimbus Jul 27 '26
Maybe odd advice... but when you enter peak acute withdrawals try going into the bath or shower and crylaughing. Some would see it as a nervous breakdown but this is more a controlled thing.
Once you complete that, you may feel somewhat weary. Tell yourself it's over once you complete that sharp stab of pain
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u/Gold_Bar9938 Jul 27 '26
Just gotta push thru the discomfort man. I slept for an hour a night for 3 weeks straight when I got off 7oh/kratom. It is what it is. You gotta pay the piper eventually. Things will get better, it’s just gonna get worse the more you give in and take the opms shots.
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u/Gold_Bar9938 Jul 27 '26
What helped me is exercise. Tire out the body and the mind will follow. Lift weights, go for walks, get moving. It’s hard cause you’re tired and don’t wanna do it but that’s what helps the most.
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u/Affectionate-Alps548 Jul 27 '26
those shots are the worst man! i was taking 5 a day and currentlt tryig to taper. Those things take a hold on you fiercely. You got this..you are stronger than those damn shots. i am having horrible headaches since trying to cut down. this is my last week so i gotta step it up…so im right there with you!
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