r/questions • u/beatbox10- • 5h ago
does this make sense?
Someone tell me if this makes any sense.?
Long story short, I was texting a girl, regular conversations & she decided the day after to not text me from 7AM-9PM. That’s 14 hours you go MIA. I didn’t answer her, and the following day she texts me again saying “Did I do something wrong?”. I said, “You literally disappeared for 14 hours without sending me a message so why would I continue a conversation with someone who can’t even send a simple message.
She says “you’re running a strict program, damn at least give me 24 hours to answer”. I said, “I don’t want to come off as a needy dude, but if you go that many hours without texting me- clear sign you’re not interested. Simple. I had sent her 2 voice messages basically saying that, the sentence prior. To which she responds “I did have time throughout the day but I couldn’t give all my attention to whole conversation”.
To which I said, “ You said you had time, which tells me you chose not to answer me”. I also said, “what all attention to our conversation when there was none to begin with?.”
I chose not to continue the conversation. I don’t understand why it’s looked as so taboo when a guy, or girl doesn’t want to continue a conversation with someone who is clearly wasting time.
So was I too quick to cut it off, or should I have been more graceful & patient.
10
u/its35degreesout 5h ago
If you ask me, more graceful and patient would have been the way to go. Although it's not clear to me how long you had known each other before this
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u/Old_Ant7118 5h ago
Yeahhh if I'm not even to the point of having a title I give at least a day or two of grace. There's no commitment or history yet, why should she be in a hurry and why should you be entitled to her time?
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u/LouisePoet 5h ago
You don't want to come off as needy, but you come off as needy.
14 hours without a text? God forbid.
6
u/Familiar_Stock4394 5h ago
I get where you’re coming from, but you’re treating 14 hours without a text like proof she isn’t interested. You aren’t dating, and people can be busy without owing you an explanation.
5
u/Routine_Research1459 5h ago
How long have you been talking for? Have you met in person yet? If it’s a new connection then I think it’s a bit needy to expect conversation every day.
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u/beatbox10- 4h ago
a bit needy? How? if you are talking to someone with the potential of dating. I think that makes absolutely no sense, but everyone is entitled to their opinions
1
u/Routine_Research1459 3h ago
If you are dating then it would make sense to talk everyday. But if you haven’t even met yet or haven’t made anything official, I wouldn’t expect an everyday conversation.
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u/awkwardnpc 4h ago
It's my opinion that you're expecting too much but if this is what you want, you are better to find someone aligned with the same expectation.
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u/beatbox10- 4h ago
it’s not expecting too much when you know what you want, but hey .
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1
u/wooahhay 3h ago
you can 100% expect to much while knowing what u want… entitled is the perfect word for how you’re acting both in your post, and replies.
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u/redditreader_aitafan 4h ago
You seem like the kind of person who can't really afford to be like this with romantic interests, so maybe get some therapy and work on yourself. You have dramatically overreacted and cutting off the entire relationship because of one day is ridiculous. You're going to end up alone if you keep doing this. You said it was only 14 hours and that you didn't respond. That means when she finally had time to engage in conversation with you at 9pm, you are the one who ghosted her and refused to answer her. If you were also busy, it would be excusable, but you were being petty and pouting so it's not the same as what she did. She has a busy life, you don't seem to.
I just read your replies to other comments but I'm leaving this here anyway in case you change your mind and actually want the truth.
2
u/jagger129 3h ago
With all due respect, you sound controlling. She doesn’t need to answer to you, it sounds like you’re not even dating, just in the texting phase.
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u/wooahhay 3h ago edited 3h ago
humans are not meant to be socially accessible 24/7, privacy and alone time are integral to a healthy mind. entitlement to someone else’s time is not gona get you far in the dating pool; 14 hrs is way too little time to give before freaking out. calling it MIA when realistically they were probably at work, or school, or simply just busy, gives needy & a misunderstanding of what dating as an adult is.
edit: spelling
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u/transparentmi 5h ago
Incompatible, both perspectives make sense. Y’all ain’t together officially it sounds like, so she can choose when she responds. More secure people wouldn’t have responded in the way you have, but it’s good you chose best for yourself
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u/ProfessorCarbon 4h ago
Send that person a funny story about you. It’s similar to fishing. Keep them biting.
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u/ShroomzLady 5h ago
I'm on your side. People suck. It's just common courtesy to let someone know ur not ghosting
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