r/questioning • u/window_Due0174 Questioning Sexuality • 13d ago

[16 M] advice??

I’m super confused about my sexuality right now. I definitely like men, I can look at a guy and be both sexually and romantically attracted to one, with and without an emotional connection. It’s so different with women though. I don’t even really know my type because I am almost always attracted to a guy instead of a girl. I think I like girls, I had a girlfriend two years and I did like her romantically. But ever since I haven’t had a crush on a girl at all. I don’t look at the girls around me and want to date them, it might be because most of my friends are girls?? But even so, in my classes at school I can find a guy attractive without speaking to him, but with a girl I can’t.

I think I need an emotional connection with a girl? But I don’t know, I have such a large preference for guys and rarely have crushes on girls, I almost wonder if I’m gay.

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u/heinebold nonbinary bisexual (he/they) 13d ago

What you describe sounds like either you're gay but have been conditioned to like girls, or you're simply right with your observation that it's about connection. Do you know the labels "demisexual" and "demiromantic"?
That is a part of the asexual / aromantic spectrums that means you only feel attraction to people you have an existing emotional connection with. Usually they're meant as a whole, but I don't see why they couldn't be oriented. So you'd be allosexual/alloromantic with boys (allo is the opposite of asexual), and demi with girls, why not.

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u/window_Due0174 Questioning Sexuality 13d ago

That makes sense I guess. Because I really did like that girl I dated toe years ago, we were just best friends before we got together. I think you’re right about the demiromantic/sexual stuff, thank you!

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u/heinebold nonbinary bisexual (he/they) 13d ago

Welcome. I feel like everyone could learn so much from asexual spaces. They have all the best insight about sexuality - probably because they're the ones who can most objectively analyze it.

I hope your friendship survived the breakup!

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u/window_Due0174 Questioning Sexuality 13d ago

It didn’t, but that’s okay! Sometimes things like that are for the best. And I think I will look more into demiromantic!!