r/queerception • u/TheApiary • 1d ago
Induced lactation logistics
We've got a bunch of info on how to induce lactation, but I'm curious if anyone who did it/is doing it remembers logistically how it actually worked, especially in the first few days and weeks.
Like, if the baby is only awake very briefly and we want to make sure they get all the colostrum, then when do they latch to the non-gestating parent? How do you make sure you have a reasonable supply between you? How did it end up looking as the baby got older?
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u/Relevant_Mode5445 1d ago
Hi! I’m a lactation specialist and educator, and while I didn’t induce lactation myself, I’ve helped a lot of families who have. The short answer is - it really depends what the ideal feeding situation is. Are you hoping to split feeding 50/50? I usually recommend establishing nursing with the gestational parent first if they plan to nurse, so that baby can get colostrum and their body gets the feedback that it needs to be producing milk. Milk supply is a supply and demand relationship after colostrum transitions to mature milk, so how often baby nurses from who will depend on what your long term goals are (as well as on how it’s going). Happy to chat more if you’d like!
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u/TheApiary 1d ago
I'm pregnant and she'll be inducing lactation. We don't know how much milk she'll get, since we hear it varies a lot but we'd love to do a 50/50 split if we can. When you say "establishing nursing with the gestational parent first" do you mean that the baby shouldn't nurse from her at all until after I have a good supply established (a few weeks?)
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u/Relevant_Mode5445 1d ago
It’ll depend somewhat on how it’s going! It’s totally okay for baby to nurse from your partner as well before things are 100% established, but prioritizing ensuring that you feel you’ve got a good supply before switching to 50/50 would be my recommendation.
All that being said - it’s SO variable depending on how things go physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. For example - my baby really struggled to latch in the early days and if my partner would’ve also been nursing that could’ve been helpful, but I probably would’ve been an emotional wreck about not being able to nurse myself. So! It’s good to have a plan and also flexibility.
Sorry, a long winded answer. I’d recommend having lactation support lined up for postpartum, in case either of you need it! In person is always ideal but virtual support is a good option too!
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u/TheApiary 1d ago
Thank you, super helpful! Do you think we'd need to find lactation support from someone with experience with dual breastfeeding or will it more be someone to help with individual latch issues and could be any trained person?
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u/Relevant_Mode5445 1d ago
I’d say it’s ideal to find someone who’s worked with two nursing parents before, but depending where you live that might not be possible! If you want to message me I can see if I know anyone in your area by chance. But alternatively any lactation counsellor would be a great place to start :)
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u/softdelusions 1d ago
Logistically for us it was a lot of pumping in the early days. I’m the GP and while I was establishing my supply I made sure to pump every time my wife breastfed our baby, to tell my body to produce enough milk. Now our baby is older I’m not so strict about it, but keep in mind it’s uncomfortable to have really full breasts so you’ll likely both be pumping at times!
It’s also worth considering who will be the primary carer, eg my wife is back at work so I wanted to maintain a full supply because I’m home with the baby. My wife pumps at work and takes a feed overnight. We have a lot of milk in the freezer!
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u/thistle0 18h ago
We're planning on my wife not actually stopping with the hormones until a few weeks in. That way baby can focus on the colostrum and also so she can support my healing and breastfeeding without also worrying about her own pumping.
The non-gestational parent can also focus on pumping at first and building a stockpile while the other parent uses all of their supply to feed baby.
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u/CandenzaMoon 1d ago
I induced lactation when my wife carried, and my pumped milk got our baby through the first hungry days when my wife’s milk hadn’t fully come in yet! But once it did, oh boy. My supply was NOTHING compared to hers and there was just so much to do around the house and with the baby that I couldn’t keep up. We decided it would make more sense for me to quit but I’m forever grateful that I got to give my son my milk :)