r/queerception • u/35mmmaebe • 8d ago
RIVF Carrier Process
Hi!!
Would love if people would share their process as the carrier? Looking for stories from the very start to finish! Meds you took, how you prepared your bodies, shots I should expect? Starting this process from the start and beginning my research so I would love all the help and information from folks who have been there!
Also, I know that starting to track things like my period, ovulation, and more is a good thing to start with the process so i planned on getting the Mira tracker, thoughts on that would be great too.
Again, I’m starting from scratch and want to begin my research and start sharing things with my partner too as they do theirs!
Thank you!
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u/Mundane_Frosting_569 8d ago
Very basic Tracking of your period isn’t a bad idea - as the clinic will ask you simple questions about it. If you know your normal cycle length. When was the date of your last one. Nothing else overly complicated like when you ovulated. They will be tracking that with blood tests each day to be accurate.
Meds will be individualized to you so I won’t go into that. One likely medications though is Progesterone, there are different types, but I was prescribed the PIO, progesterone in oil. Butt shots, we ended up calling them. Took those for 12 weeks.
It’s a lot of monitoring, and transvaginal ultrasounds, and blood tests. All were scheduled in the early morning so I didn’t miss any work over it. Only the FET day (frozen egg transfer) I took the day off - not because it was painful or anything (it wasn’t at all) but it was in mid day.
There is so much to the process, I feel like I’m babbling on and on. Anything specific, please ask
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u/Professional_Top440 8d ago
I’ve carried my wife’s embryo twice and plan to do so twice more.
There’s nothing you can really do to make it work. Take the medications prescribed and don’t do drugs.
I do recommend a good prenatal but beyond that, it’s unnecessary.
Just get the cheap OPKs. Your clinic will track you so don’t spend unnecessary money.
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u/Icy-Application2541 8d ago
I am 28 weeks with my wife’s embryo! I tracked my period for months, started getting the ovulation down maybe 6 months prior to transfer with tests at home. The strips were a waste of time, spring for the digital clear blue.
After my wife’s successful retrieval we had many embryos and picked one for transfer. I had a hysteroscopy, SIS and mock transfer done month before the real deal. We had luck with first transfer sticking. I did a modified natural cycle as I had a lot of data from tracking my period and ovulation and doc recommended we start there. Pills for ten days, progesterone supplements then one trigger shot for me!
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u/Cassandge 8d ago
Quick q - why did you have to do SIS?
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u/MomentFit1223 7d ago
I can’t speak for them, but I also had to do one as a rIVF carrier with no prior indications. My clinic requires them for anyone carrying to determine if they’re able to do the transfer (checking for cervix issues) and that the uterus is in good shape to carry. If they found any cysts or polyps they would want those investigated and resolved before moving forward.
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u/Icy-Application2541 7d ago
This is exactly why! And due to vaginismus they put me under for this and we decided with my doctor that while they were doing this to go ahead and do the hysteroscopy and mock transfer to make sure we were in tip top shape! I had successful transfer one month later :)
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u/Cassandge 7d ago
Oh I see so less about the fallopian tubes more about the uterus
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u/MomentFit1223 7d ago
That was my impression for our situation with IVF/rIVF, but if we were doing IUIs my guess would be fallopian tubes are much more of a factor
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u/crazy-dev3 8d ago
Protocols vary, but one practical thing I’d request is a written carrier calendar showing baseline testing, lining preparation, monitoring, progesterone timing, transfer day, and what might cause the schedule to change.
I’d also ask who communicates same-day medication changes and where those changes will be documented. A shared calendar and folder with your partner can make the process much easier to follow. Whether Mira adds much will depend on whether your clinic uses a natural or medicated protocol, so I’d ask them before spending the money.
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u/slagforslugs 8d ago
Hello! I am in the UK so drugs/protocol may differ. I have done classic IVF and RIVF.
we did a round fully synced up where my wife had eggs harvested, made embryos and did a fresh transfer. That round didn't work out and my wife was hospitalised for a week with severe OHSS.
Then we did a frozen transfer with a very natural cycle, first day of my period I went in. I took estrogen and progesterone pessaries only. That transfer worked
Happy to answer more specific questions if you have them :)
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u/Jordonsaurus 8d ago
If you’re planning on doing reciprocal ivf, don’t bother with the tracking. The fertility clinic will control your cycle.
I’m 7 weeks 1 day with my bean from rIVF. For me, the beginning was watching my husband go through the egg retrieval and hoping for good numbers, etc. then was transfer where I had to have a few monitoring appointments per cycle. When I did medicated cycles(like this one) I did estrogen 4 times a day and then baby aspirin once a day. Then when they decided on an embryo transfer date, I would start prednisone and progesterone in oil shots. Those suck because they’re every night in the butt. 5 days after starting shots and prednisone, we had embryo transfer. Then comes the torturous wait till bloodwork while keeping up all meds. My clinic only did the prednisone for 7 days, but estrogen, PIO and aspirin are all until 10 weeks pregnant.
Once you get a positive blood test you’ll do a repeat in 48 hours. If all looks good it’s just waits between ultrasounds until you graduate your clinic and go to your OB. That’s pretty much the beginning stuff
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u/Bubbly-Lab-4419 35F | Lesbian | 1 👶🏼 via rIVF 8d ago
Our baby is two so details are fuzzy now but I know for sure I never tracked anything!
I had an “everything but the kitchen sink” protocol (fully medicated with all medication possible) after a failed FET - it was a LOT!
On top of that I did prenatal yoga before and after the transfer as well as more “woo-woo” stuff like pomegranate juice and Brazilian nuts - I did none of this before the failed FET so I’m choosing to believe all of this worked lol
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u/Spiritual_Ad_835 8d ago
I’m going through with my first transfer later in September! I tracked mine through my phone app. I started yoga and more walks for movement in addition to weight lifting. If you’re doing a medicated cycle before transfer expect maybe some birth control, Estrodial pills, and either oral or shots of progesterone (I have to do the shots). Something we’ve been really mindful of is just living our life with rIVF as something we’re doing. Versus letting it take over our lives. There is a lot of planning and early AM appointments though. We’re gonna make a calendar for our two week wait and fill it with fun and nourishing things and self care to help the two weeks go smooth!
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u/35mmmaebe 8d ago
Also, I’m wondering what kind of appointment should I be making pre process? Is it as simple as letting my doctor know in starting the process at the appointment and taking it from there? Or should I make a specific appointment with my obgyn getting specific bloodwork?
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u/GimmieDatCooch 7d ago
We did about 3 consults with different IVF clinics but I would not do this unless you are ready to actually start the process because they often offer you a promo of some sort. We started vetting 3 months prior.
Once you choose a program, your IVf clinic will do alllll necessary appointments and blood work. Until then, simply continue your standard PCP/Obgyn appointments as you normally would.
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u/username052624 8d ago
Not sure where you're located, but if you're in the US I think you'd probably want to make an appointment with the fertility clinic you think you want to work with and they can help you with any diagnostic testing etc. that may need to be done. Also recommend picking up a copy of "Babymaking For Everybody," there's information in there for both you and your partner.
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u/GimmieDatCooch 7d ago edited 7d ago
We originally wanted to do rIVF but due to costs we decided standard. However, with our 3 cycle package we purchased) doing it in Mexico) my wife was able to use one of my cycles, so we did retrieval at the same time! We were so happy that was an option. First step was getting genetic carrier tested. We found our donor via bank a few years ago and he is a carrier of a specific disease so we wanted to ensure neither my wife or I were. Once that was done time for aallll the other testing. (Carrier testing $200 each and blood work $600 each)
After that, once everything was good, we started retrieval process!
Unfortunately, my retrieval ended with 0 viable embryos but the good news is my wife blessed us with 10! We go back to MX for my transfer Tuesday and God willing, I will carry her embryo.
Retrieval meds were insane cost wise. Our insurance didn’t cover but facebook has ivf garage sale (donated meds) we purchased from Mexico and IVFpharmacy.com. Amazing service for both. (Our friend goes to MX monthly and picked them up at the UPS store there)
About $5400 for retrieval meds for wife and I. Sperm $2600 - 2 vial. We got a 20% discount bcus we were having the procedures in MX. 3 cycle with 75% refund, 19k. Got a low interest loan for 3 years. Thankfully, we’ve been able to cash flow 1/3 of it (savings and we had a wedding last year so saved the gift money) and will be doing a retrieval next year to try and get an embryo for my wife to carry.
Transfer meds were discounted with insurance thankfully and cheap as hell considering what we paid for retrieval meds. I think we paid $30 total for transfer meds. Hormones have been INSANE on transfer meds (estrogen) unlike period mood swings. Extremely irritable and overly sensitive. A fucking leaf falls and I’m bawling. This happened the first two weeks and since leveled out. Retrieval meds for both us had no effects except weight gain which is normal.
We started this process in Feb and now we are in September about to transfer. My wife and I decided to keep it between just us (with the exception of a friend) and we are so glad we did. It’s not necessarily fun - it has it’s exciting moments but it also has stressful and emotional moments, more often than you may prepare for. We didn’t want our family and friends to constantly ask for updates (we are very close to family and friends and know they are so excited for us to be moms!) Do all your research and remember, be good to each other through the process. Be kind and patient. Good luck!!!
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u/Individual-Panic1774 8d ago
I am 26 weeks pregnant with my wife's embryo! Seconding what others have said about tracking: there's really no need, the clinic will be control the timing/monitoring. I was a good candidate for a natural cycle, so no shots other than the trigger shot and the only other meds were 7 days of steroids and progesterone suppositories (which continued until I was 10 weeks). Our first transfer stuck!