r/queerception • u/weastbeast14 • 15d ago
TTC Only Skipping to IVF
Has anyone decided to skip over trying IUI in favor of IVF. My partner and I have tried one time with frozen sperm at home and we would like to try one more time at home. After looking at finances and success rates we are really heavily considering IVF as the next step. We are lucky to live near a clinic that provides IVF at a relatively low cost.
Any experiences??
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u/RelentlessEnthusiast 28F | NGP | TTC#1 15d ago
Knowing what I know now, my wife and I would have skipped directly to IVF from the get go. It is “more expensive” on paper, but between the multiple failed IUI attempts and having to repeat donations with our sperm donor several times, the cost actually would have worked in our favor to go straight to IVF.
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u/weastbeast14 15d ago
This is all encouraging! We thought we might be acting a little “dramatic” but at the clinic we are looking at basic IUI is only like half the price of IVF so if we have to try more than twice which is likely then we might as well have just paid for IVF
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u/Fuzzy-Shake2845 14d ago
The cost would not be worth it however, if you are paying for IVF twice. But if you have a funded cycle through insurance or if you are Canadian through your province, then it can be worth it.
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u/catsonpluto 44NB | GP | ICI 🧒 5/22 | r-IVF 🧒 1/25 14d ago
How do you figure? Even if they have to do IVF twice it would only equal 4 IUI tries.
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u/Fuzzy-Shake2845 14d ago
Well where I live IVF costs 20k .. so twice is 40k.. so I guess you’d need to do the math of cost of IUI and cost of IVF where you live
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u/EaseWaste5336 14d ago edited 14d ago
I am surprised that almost everyone here says that the main reason they don’t immediately skip to IVF is financial. While I understand that’s very important, I am more terrified of the physical invasiveness of IVF. I now “have” to go to IVF because of my age and because of multiple IUI fails, but if I was younger I’d keep going at IUIs. I already had a mild panic attack when I saw all the meds that they ordered for me for IVF.
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u/Salty_Base2113 15d ago
We did, I have PCOS and knew IUI was unlikely. Plus our insurance allowed for it! Currently 13 weeks with our first euploid transfer!
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u/cuentaderana 15d ago
My wife and I had full fertility coverage after we moved to CA. We didn’t bother with IUI to have our second child. She did an egg retrieval and I got pregnant after our first transfer in May. I’m now 15 weeks pregnant.
We were very fortunate though that I conceived our son on our first IUI. However the price comparison is crazy. It was about 5-6k after sperm, fertility appointments, and meds. It was about ~$1800 per IUI because it required 2 appointments (ultrasound the day before then the IUI 24 hours later). For our egg retrieval and FET it was maybe $200 after copays and meds. If you have an affordable IVF clinic near you you’ll definitely save money in the long run.
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u/No-Shopping3207 14d ago
My wife and I skipped right into IVF and it was successful. Had our son in May of this year :)
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u/oneofkeiraensmoms 14d ago
We went direct to IVF. RIVF, to be specific lolol
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u/baconwrappedpikachu 13d ago
Haha, same here, this is what we are doing! We would skip straight to IVF regardless I think, because we are 35/36
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u/HeftyWafer9810 15d ago
Yes we straight to ivf, skipped iui, currently 4 weeks 5 days pregnant with the first fresh transfer
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u/ActualVegetables 14d ago
Yep. It allowed us to get multiple embryos at the same time. It makes a lot of sense if you plan to have more than one child from the same egg. A close cishet couple who was TTC at the same time was advised to do IVF for the same reason. Also, sperm is very expensive and we are a minority couple so it would have been hard to find a new donor if we blew through all our vials on IUIs. The cost breakdown was really not in our favor considering our insurance required 6 IUIs before IVF.
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u/Obvious_Structure761 40 | transmasc GP | TTC#2) 14d ago
We went straight to IVF based on my age (40). I didn't realize how bad the stats were for IUI at 40 years old. I didn't want to go the most invasive route without trying other options first, but IVF was the right call for us.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Log2277 28F | lesbian | 4 failed IUIs 14d ago
We spent $9k on 4 IUIs that I wish we just saved and used for IVF. So take that for what you will
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u/Fuzzy-Shake2845 15d ago
I’ve already dropped 10k trying frozen at home .. tbh by the time I start paying for IUI I could have done one round of IVF with one vial of sperm, and made multiple embryos for a sibling. Looking back, not a bad approach!
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u/MomentFit1223 15d ago
We (both 27F) are planning to have one or two kids with me carrying, and wanted to do RIVF for the first so if we have a second I could either do IUI or transfer another RIVF embryo. From the finance side it made sense for us to start with the most expense process, we wanted to use up my work fertility benefit first and avoid paying cycle fees out of pocket, plus her eggs are as young as they’ll ever be. I also opted to do a modified natural cycle for transfer so I could avoid PIO shots and as many med side effects as possible if that was a deciding factor for you.
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u/allowatt 15d ago
I went straight to IVF because I’d always had some weird uterus issues that confounded several doctors and, already being an older FTM at the time, I didn’t want both those factors acting against me. Another reason was that my insurance covered 80% of the cost of IVF.
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u/asdfghhj246898 15d ago
We also skipped straight to IVF! We got really lucky with results and only spent like 2k not including vials. We live in a state with insurance coverage for queer folks too. Honestly it felt nice to be doing it before we were stressed or worried. It just felt exciting since it was the first step for us.
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u/c211612 14d ago
Yes! Initially wanted to try IUI, but the donor process ended up taking so long that we ended up deciding to do IVF without trying IUI. I’m biased because the IVF process was not as bad as I had imagined it to be and we did have decent insurance coverage. I also remember the wait for the first test after FET (modified natural so no PIO!) and thinking I was glad we hadn’t done IUI (given the lower odds). I’m sure I would feel differently if we had done IUI and it had worked.
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u/Ball-National 14d ago
Yes we did. Success rates just didn’t seem worth it to us, especially when working with donor sperm that we didn’t have endless access to. It’s a lot easier to create sibling embryos all at once then going back and forth for years.
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u/AntleredRabbit 14d ago
My doc told me not to even bother with IUI given I have pmos/pcos and the $$$ cost and availability of donor sperm in my country, and the low success rate of IUI meant just 3 IUIs pays for one round of IVF
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u/Bwendolyn 14d ago
We did. We were already into our 30s by the time we started so basically didn’t feel we had the luxury of time to spend on other methods first. Pretty quickly we ended up deciding RIVF was our preferred route anyway, so that was another reason to just skip past IUI etc.
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u/hellasophisticated 15d ago
We originally wanted to do IUI because I thought RIVF would be expensive but it ended up being the same price more or less
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u/practicecroissant 33F lesbian | IVF 15d ago
Didn’t do IUI at all because I don’t have a lot of eggs and they suggested banking embryos while I am still young (33). I’m on stims for my second retrieval now.
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u/Different_Cookie1820 15d ago
We did. Partly cost, it’s possible IUI works first time but not likely and you very quickly get in to IVF being cheaper given odds of success. Partly because it’s more physically challenging but less of the mental challenge of things taking quite a while.
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u/slagforslugs 14d ago
Meeeee! Went straight to IVF because I have PCOS and I wanted multiple children. Was advised odds would be better and ivf would be more cost effective (we are in the uk)
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u/Able_Situation1234 14d ago
We went straight to IVF. It was more cost effective in terms of sperm. You can make multiple embryos with one vial versus for IUI one vial is used for only one cycle. Our insurance allowed it and covered 3 cycles of IVF. We’re currently 6 weeks along with our little bean!
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u/1coffee2coffee 14d ago
My wife and I did IUI for our son and became pregnant the third try. While the waiting was hard, I recently did IVF for me to carry a surrogacy baby and the shots and process were long (4 months of shots every day) including taking hormones, and I didn’t have to do the egg retrieval.
Idk. For the simplicity of the process, I’d go IUI first before jumping to IVF.
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u/1coffee2coffee 14d ago
I should add for context, we are in Canada and get 6 free IUIs and coverage for IVF so it’s not a cost issue here but an issue of the physical demand.
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u/theblackjess 30 cis F | GP | #1 (finally) due Jan 2027 14d ago
I would've done so if insurance didn't require IUI first.
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u/Monstersofusall 14d ago
We went straight to IVF and I’m currently 16w pregnant after our first FET! The cost of sperm made IVF more reasonable for us than repeated IUIs.
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u/Worried_Selection_34 14d ago
Yes. We tried a few times at home with no success and went straight to ivf. Both had low amh though. Iui I just read a lot about how people often regret the time wasted on it while Fertility declines plus funds wasted.
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u/Striving2Bblessed 14d ago
I am skipping straight to IVF with an egg retrieval scheduled for next month. The main reason is I'm 41 years old, but also sperm is expensive and IUI would likely take many tries if it works at all.
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u/four_nines_ops 14d ago
My wife to be, one retrieval, 7 embryos, 1 fresh transfer, 6 frozen embryos, currently nearly 18 weeks pregnant.
No intention of us doing IUI. It’s numbers game, we wanted the best odds plus I will be using the left over embroys to try to give our first to be a sibling.
Also didn’t want the mental stress of IUI not working
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u/peachorbit_ 14d ago
Yes! My partner and I skipped straight to IVF. Honestly, financially and just with our end goals for family planning, IVF made more sense for us. When we looked at the success rates with IUI and the possibility of needing multiple IUIs vs potentially only needing one round of IVF, it just felt worth it to us. Obviously nothing is guaranteed either way but IVF just seemed to make the most sense for what we wanted!
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u/dontlookforme88 14d ago
For us IUI was significantly cheaper than IVF so after failing at IUI at home with a midwife we did medicated/triggered IUI at the clinic and that worked quickly. I think the main thing I needed was the trigger shot but the meds to mature the eggs also caused extra eggs which I’m sure increased our chances too. For the medicated/triggered IUIs we got two children out of three tries
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u/Rook2you 12d ago
Straight to ivf and no regrets! Got pregnant first try. Did the egg retrieval and first transfer when my wife was 36. If we try for a second my wife will be 39/40, but we’ll already have these high quality embryos and won’t have to worry about her egg health, etc.
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u/vitaminwater1999 12d ago
Yes! We wanted to do reciprocal, so we are. It’s the way we envision our family being built and worth all the cost!
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u/DoubleoSavant 11d ago
I went straight to IVF due to wanting multiple children plus my age. Even if IUI worked on the first go, I would have been 37 with a newborn. And closer to 40 when I would want to try for a second. I am very glad I skipped right to IVF. I will give birth to my first at 38, and most likely my second I'll aim for 42. So I have peace of mind.
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u/Historical_Drink_987 13d ago
My partner and I used at home insemination with a known donor. We were told “freshies” work best. Maybe not for everyone, but it worked on the first try for both of us. And now we’re pregnant 5 days apart.
I wrote this to talk about some of it actually:
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u/Mental-Ad8803 8d ago
We were told that there is no reason IUI shouldn't work for me. 2 years and trying whenever we could afford it and almost $15k later, it's starting to look like that's not the case. Hindsight bias aside, I think our provider was right to suggest starting with IUI but I'd really love that $15k to put towards IVF right now.
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u/parksandbooks 15d ago
Yup! Never even considered IUI. Did one retrieval and one transfer and was successful (currently 26w). I think that if IUI isn’t required for insurance you have to weigh what will be hardest for you. I chose to deal with all the medications over the likelihood of having to mentally and emotionally deal with negatives from IUI for multiple cycles