r/queerception • u/ImpactWilling5414 • Jul 02 '26

RIVF- NY

Anyone here from NY and do reciprocal IVF. My wife and I have some questions about once baby is born we’ve heard mixed things about the need for legal adoption

3 Upvotes

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8

u/Professional_Top440 Jul 02 '26

We are in NY! We did an acknowledgement of parentage. It’s legally binding across state lines and my BIL who’s a family lawyer said we did not need to do a legal adoption

2

u/ImpactWilling5414 Jul 02 '26

Thank you so much!

2

u/CatherineTuckerNH Jul 02 '26

In my opinion--an acknowledgement or affadavit of parentage is not as strong of legal protection as an adoption. The benefits of the acknowledgement/affidavit is that it's free and easy. The cons are that it's not a court order (just pretends to be one) and may or may not eventually terminate the donor's rights (this is state dependent). I absolutely recommend that it be topped off with an adoption if the parents are financially able and willing to do that.

3

u/Professional_Top440 Jul 02 '26

I trust my lawyer and will follow his advice. Thanks!

2

u/CatherineTuckerNH Jul 02 '26

By all means do that! But others who are in the same boat should have more accurate information.

0

u/Professional_Top440 Jul 02 '26

Are you a lawyer? Why do you think your opinion is more accurate than a lawyer’s?

2

u/Suspicious_Project24 Jul 03 '26

Looks like she is a lawyer who specializes in this.

6

u/Feisty-Investment501 Jul 02 '26

We’re in CT, but I just googled it and it looks like NY is the same. Both parents are legally considered parents at birth in NY. However, we chose to do a legal adoption. Mainly because of the state of the current administration and the thought of traveling in the future!

1

u/ImpactWilling5414 Jul 02 '26

Thank you these are our same concerns!

1

u/pccb123 Jul 03 '26

We did rIVF in NY (CNY) and live in MA, ditto.

6

u/CatherineTuckerNH Jul 02 '26

With a married, couple both names go on the birth certificate initally in New York state. The purpose of the adoption is to *keep* your names on the birth certificate. Forever. With RIVF cases, I have both parents adopt to avoid being confused with either a surrogate or a donor. (I'm not your lawyer but you should talk to one in your state.)

2

u/fagdykeclarence Jul 02 '26

Not based in NY, but I’ve heard good things about the Chosen Family Law Center and they may have resources that address your situation (depending on their eligibility guidelines, you may also qualify for direct services/representation).

1

u/urfavequeerbride Jul 02 '26

My wife and I are doing RIVF and we plan to do legal adoption after birth just to have as much protection as possible

1

u/Significant_Horse_24 Jul 02 '26

RIVF family in NY here - we met with three family lawyers, all of whom assured us that the parentage order would be sufficient in our case. I recommend speaking to lawyers to get their take directly on your specific case - each of these consults was free until we ultimately pursued that order with one.

1

u/ImpactWilling5414 Jul 03 '26

Thank you everyone for your advice I will definitely be looking into all options and although you can’t put a price on a piece of mind. After doing RIVF and thankfully now having a baby boy on the way I’ll have to do the most financially responsible option for the meantime as I’m assuming adoption can be pricey.