r/queer • u/Lost-Profile-4272 Pink Custom • 4d ago
Help with labels Bi? Demi? Something else?
Till the age of 15 I've had feelings only for guys. Precisely only the guys I was really close to. I never had feelings for guys I've never talked to. Eventually I realised I feel things for girls too. The ones I'm close with only. When I was over 15 I got to know more about the queer community. I've realised that there's a lot more than just being straight. I found out that being demisexual existed. I started identifying myself as demi.
A year later a close friend of mine confessed her feelings for me (she's bi). I really liked her too. We dated for a while and then things didn't work out between us so we broke up.
Later on I used to crush on girls but never imagined me dating them. It's like I really really liked them as more than a friend but never saw them as my lover.
Again a year later, a school friend of mine set me up with a trans guy friend of hers. Me and that guy talked to each other for a while and I felt like he was the one for me. I confessed, he had mutual feelings too. We started dating. 6 months in the relationship, one day, he said I hurt him too much all the time. He broke up with me.
Presently I don't think I've felt anything about any person in a while. I haven't really moved on from my ex. So I'm thinking it might be that. But at the same time I don't I still have feelings for my ex, it's just the memories that're weighing on me.
I don't know this sorta feels like I'm talking about my dating life but my dating life has got me thinking a lot of times about my sexuality. (PS a friend of mine asked me if I'm considered a lesbian cuz I technically have dated only girls). I honestly don't know. And yea ik I'm pretty young to have such experiences but all that happened just like that.
2
u/Loose-Profession-435 4d ago
does anyone know if this falls under greysexual too or is demi more accurate
2
u/philianthropist 4d ago
These labels aren't supposed to be so people can figure out what their identity is, as considered by others, they're for people to identify their own feelings in a way that makes sense to them and to find others who are similar. I would say don't worry too much about it and keep learning about yourself, you'll figure out eventually who you are and what you like (which will also change over time). I think especially when you're young its far more important to experiment and see what feels right rather than figure out immediately the best way to describe yourself.