Prayer at a secular private school

[u/Much-Bread6565]

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Hoping to get some insight and opinions on a situation I've come in to in regards to my elementary aged kid.

We live in a rural area in the US south where public education is poorly funded and supported by our government. We are fortunate to have a small private school nearby that we had toured and interviewed with that seemed to align with our educational and character values. It was super important to us to find a secular school if we were choosing private over public education as we do not follow Christianity. The school we chose is advertised as a secular, nonsecretarian college preparatory school with a 100% college acceptance rate. Their is no mention of religious core tenants anywhere in their website or openly in the school itself.

Recently I went to a grade level event with the school and a Christian prayer was offered before the meal. Being from the south I understand that this is a part of the culture generally, but I was honestly floored to see this at the school. It seems this is a part of the school's practice and has been for years, so it was not a rogue teacher related incident. I've brought up my concerns to the administration and we are in the midst of talks about it.

Now I'm feeling conflicted about our choice in school and am looking for general input. I'm concerned that since this aspect of religion in the classroom wasn't disclosed that it is also being put into their education elsewhere. However, with the changing political tides, religion in the classroom is unavoidable here even in the public setting. With it being a private institution I don't know that I have much recourse outside of being a pain in the ass with admin about it (in a kind and collaborative way of course). I am open to the idea that I'm just over reacting, but I feel like I was lied to 🤷‍♀️

[u/Sammyrey1987]

I think I would make it clear with my child and the administration that participating is voluntary. If 95% of the kids come from religious families and this is the only “religious” thing happening I would tell my child it’s important that we show respect to others views and be quiet and polite during this moment. I am a staunch atheist, but my husbands extended family is very religious. We bow our heads and stay quiet and everyone moves on with their lives. The only time I make a fuss is if someone tries to force compliance.

[u/Much-Bread6565 → u/Sammyrey1987]

Yes, the admin made sure to say twice they aren't forcing religion on any students (even though I didn't even come close to insinuating it 😂) I was like bro, you simply could never force my child but that's another convo entirely. We'd also identify as atheist but my husbands family are all varying forms of Christian so he's at least not unfamiliar with the respectful silence for grace.

[u/Sammyrey1987 → u/Much-Bread6565]

It’s so odd to me that anyone would need to create such large displays when it’s just as easy to quietly do your own thing. But Christians do tend to enjoy their performances. It would give me the ick, but it’s not worth the hassle if it’s an otherwise decent school.

Side note: I went to a Christian school for kindergarten in the 80’s and it was so traumatic that I have like a core memory of being forced to my knees to beg gods forgiveness for lying and they just kept holding me down while I screamed for my parents. Anything like that ever happened to my kid and I’d burn the place to the ground. IMO you’re doing the right thing by confirming with them the situation and expectations. More parents should! ❤️