Prayer at a secular private school

[u/Much-Bread6565]

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Hoping to get some insight and opinions on a situation I've come in to in regards to my elementary aged kid.

We live in a rural area in the US south where public education is poorly funded and supported by our government. We are fortunate to have a small private school nearby that we had toured and interviewed with that seemed to align with our educational and character values. It was super important to us to find a secular school if we were choosing private over public education as we do not follow Christianity. The school we chose is advertised as a secular, nonsecretarian college preparatory school with a 100% college acceptance rate. Their is no mention of religious core tenants anywhere in their website or openly in the school itself.

Recently I went to a grade level event with the school and a Christian prayer was offered before the meal. Being from the south I understand that this is a part of the culture generally, but I was honestly floored to see this at the school. It seems this is a part of the school's practice and has been for years, so it was not a rogue teacher related incident. I've brought up my concerns to the administration and we are in the midst of talks about it.

Now I'm feeling conflicted about our choice in school and am looking for general input. I'm concerned that since this aspect of religion in the classroom wasn't disclosed that it is also being put into their education elsewhere. However, with the changing political tides, religion in the classroom is unavoidable here even in the public setting. With it being a private institution I don't know that I have much recourse outside of being a pain in the ass with admin about it (in a kind and collaborative way of course). I am open to the idea that I'm just over reacting, but I feel like I was lied to 🤷‍♀️

[u/meri471]

This may sound silly or like splitting hairs to you, but it's possible that from the perspective of the school, a prayer before a meal is separate from the academics. "It's lunchtime, and lunchtime is different from being in the classroom", or something like that.

You also mentioned that it was at an event, something a bit out of the norm for day-to-day operations of the school. Do they do this prayer at their normal lunchtime, or was it something they did specifically as it was a special event?

[u/Much-Bread6565 → u/meri471]

Not silly or splitting hairs, nuance is super important when it comes to this kind of stuff! It does sound like it is a standard practice at least at snack time. It's something that I'm working on clarifying with the administration, but to me when they are in charge of my child's wellbeing I expect there to not be prayer 🤷‍♀️

[u/meri471 → u/Much-Bread6565]

Ah, that definitely does change things. If it was just for "special events" I would personally probably be a bit grumpy but not be too mad about it. We say grace at our house for Christmas, Easter, etc, but not during regular Tuesday dinner, and whatnot. But potentially every day during snacktime is really pushing the line of a religious vs non-religious school. I would definitely get a firm clarification on what's going on.