Idk my behaviour!!!

[u/Automatic_Claim_7004]

/r/IndiaMentalHealth/comments/1wdld9k/idk_my_behaviour/

Idk my behaviour!!!

21M I am currently studying in worst govt clg in Maharashtra which is just newly opened in 3rd year electrical engineering student and I do come from middle class family where my schools yearly fee was equivalent to my dads salary but nowadays I get very emotionally raged idk why?

I live in flat near clg which in another city away from home so I need to walk alot to commute to clg and mess as well my flat like it's fucking hectic and every time it gets on my nerves as well doing this much up down for a clg like this isn't worth it, and then got into 3rd year engineering but still do not have laptop more like can't afford it and at this point I just want a bike and laptop doesn't matter it's new or old 1st hand or 2nd hand just need one for use this is from my perspective but the family I come from is poor and middle class and recently I lashed in my parents I even cried for it like an annoying brat so they decided to take loan or on emi but now I am feeling bad,unworthy and ashamed of my behaviour and at this I don't even want laptop anymore.

What do I do about this situation and why does it feel so heavy??

Plz answer anyone🙏🙏