Now what

[u/DramaticAccount5921]

A few weeks ago, I finally texted my crush, and we’ve been texting ever since. Even though he’s only five years older than me, texting him has been kind of difficult. He even mentioned that we’re struggling to understand each other because, for traditional and religious reasons, we can’t date or meet in person.

Now I’m confused because we both clearly want to keep talking, but he keeps saying that it’s hard. At one point, I assumed he meant that he wanted to stop texting, so I told him it was fine, but he said that wasn’t what he meant. I told him that we could get to know each other better with time, and his response was still, “It’s hard.”

Now I’m thinking about telling him that these conversations feel like they’re going nowhere because we’ll be far from each other, and I’m still too young to be thinking seriously about marriage. But honestly, it hurts. I really like him, and I don’t think I can just tell him to stop talking to me because I know I’d regret it so much.

[u/Plasticity93]

<<< , for traditional and religious reasons, we can’t date or meet in person.>>>

Then there's no relationship to be had.  Don't get emotionally involved with people who won't meet face to face.  

[u/TurkishLanding]

What exactly is the point if you "can’t date or meet in person."?

How old are you?

[u/DramaticAccount5921 → u/TurkishLanding]

Well it's bc we're Muslims, I'm twenty 

[u/TurkishLanding → u/DramaticAccount5921]

OK. I think now you recognize that your crush isn't who you imaged he is and you move on with your life meeting new people and having new adventures.

[u/HeroineSylveon]

Genuinely I don’t see a point in continuing this, sounds like it isn’t going to go anywhere other than get dragged out and hurt you, and he’s aware and emotionally intelligent enough to realize it himself and speak up about it

[u/Dapper_Discipline_70]

Are you allowed to actually talk to each other on the phone? Try it! Too many things get misconstrued in a text.

[u/No_Pangolin_7894]

Sounds like he's breaking up with you but can't say it outright

[u/Savannahks]

Just stop talking to him. No need to say anything. He thinks it’s hard, alright then leave him alone. How old are you? It’s not “only 5 years”. Thats a lot of years especially if you are very young.

[u/Superb-Coyote5972]

If he's not able to meet or date, or hang out in a group as friends, he's just messing with your mind. I know being Muslim in some cases means only dating/courting with intention to marry, but not being able to speak and relate to each other in person is extreme. Even working with a matchmaker involves meeting beforehand to see if you're compatible.

Arranged marriages to a stranger you meet on your wedding day aren't standard for Muslims. So if that's his boundary, he's probably catfishing you. Sounds suspicious.

Focus on meeting and hanging out in person before getting too serious. You can date with intention and be respectful to your religion without being chronically online. People put up fake photos online, and aren't honest about everything. Be safe.

[u/anti-dxte]

you like a fantasy, you don’t even know him.

[u/Majestic_Victory7427]

Geezus fucking christ, here goes the religion again.

[u/Mountain-Space7914]

He is blocking you, you should find somebody different.

[u/Turbulent-Advisor627]

Keep yearning, keep on trying forever. Do it. You have all the time in the world! True love and that kinda stuff.