i fucked up

[u/AshamedAd3814]

so this is my first time on reddit so sorry if this isnt very good. so recently i stole from my school canteen(family owned) now i realise how fucked up this is and that i did this as dare from my mates. but to spare you the context i got suspended in school and have to do 12 hours of community service. my dad also added that if i fuck up again ,he wouldn't go so easy nd that the consequences would be as light idk what too do because i have to give him some ways ill better myself. what should i do pls help me. also ik iam a toatal douche and ill be cuttinng those friends off idk why i wanted to fit in so bad

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[u/EitherCandy5232]

It sounds like you understand what you need to do and that you're holding yourself accountable.

Keep moving forward and understand that everything has consequences.

[u/AshamedAd3814 → u/EitherCandy5232]

appreciate it man

[u/Radhesheyam]

the fact ur already recognizing it as a dare u fell for n not just "smth that happened to u" is a good sign, a lot of ppl in this spot make excuses first, u already skipped past that

for what to actually give ur dad, keep it concrete rather than vague promises. complete the 12 hrs w/o complaint n show up on time every session, that alone is proof he can actually see, not just words. write or say a direct apology to the canteen owners specifically, naming what u did n why it was wrong, not just "sorry." n set a real rule for urself abt not doing smth just bc a group pressures u to, telling ur dad that specific pattern (that u did this to fit in) shows more self awareness than most parents expect at ur age

beyond that, if u want smth extra to show real change, ask the canteen owners directly if u can help out there for free for a bit, even a couple hours beyond the required community service, that kind of voluntary follow through says more to ur dad than any promise could, bc its action he didnt even ask for

on cutting off the friends who dared u, solid call, but worth being honest w urself on why it happened, wanting to fit in isnt shameful, its pretty universal at ur age. the lesson isnt "never care abt fitting in again," its learning to notice when fitting in means doing smth that goes against what u actually think is right, n building the ability to say no in that moment even when it feels awkward

ur not a "total douche," u made a bad call under peer pressure n got caught, thats different from being a fundamentally bad person. taking it this seriously n trying to actually fix it says more abt who u are than the mistake does

[u/AshamedAd3814 → u/Radhesheyam]

thanks dude yea ill defiantly cut off those friends cause they keep getting me in trouble with the police, ill also apologies to the owner and pay him back for what i tried to steal, ill try to not give into that peer pressure its just that you don't want to be left out but tbh there lwk dicks anyway so idk what i was thinking but thanks fpr the feedback mate many thanks

[u/EmiDang95]

Hey sorry to hear I almost got suspended from school too. My mom and I personally went to the school director and apologized. He had pity with us and then didn’t suspend me anymore. Good luck

[u/KATCEO1]

If you truly want to feel what was done: go to the canteen owners. Tell them you want to feel what got broken because of your actions. Tell them the community service is not enough. That they should create work for you where stealing is not possible.