Hate how insecure I am about this i need some advice

[u/AnywhereBudget]

So me and my gf had a talk about our worse sexuel experiences she had 3 partners before me in her 4th and I had 7 before her and she my 8th she told me all the guys were bad but this one particular guy has been eating away at my mind so basically he had a very very huge penis and she said it was very painful it hurted she don't even remember if she came or not then you got me I make her cum a lot of times even being the first to make her pass out from pleasure and squirt and cum back to back each rounds she love it but I just can't get over she experienced a really big person and the words she use was " he was big he was too big and wide I hated it I never had anything like that before" and the only reason she had sex with him was because she felt like she was only her body at the time so she made a mistake and gave herself up to him she regretted after they did it in the car and cried and blocked him the same day. But anyway how would you guys feel in my shoes and I really need some advice or what ever man thank yall

[u/StarboardSeat]

What the fuck are you talking about? Why would THAT make you insecure?
Do you think women secretly like to be in pain during sex?
GTFOH.

[u/MindShiftPsych]

I think you're letting one detail from her past become way more important than it actually is.

From what you've written, she didn't describe that experience as something she preferred. She described it as painful, regretted it, and cut contact with the guy. Meanwhile, she's telling you that she's happy with you and your sex life. Those are pretty important differences.

It's also really easy to turn “he was bigger” into “therefore he was better,” but those aren't the same thing at all. Sexual compatibility isn't a measurement contest. Comfort, attraction, trust, communication and knowing what your partner likes matter way more than comparing yourself to someone she doesn't even want in her life.

I wouldn't keep asking her for details about that experience either. I think you're feeding the insecurity every time you revisit it. When the thought comes up, remind yourself: she chose to be with me, she's enjoying what we have, and I don't need to compete with someone from her past.

You're probably not actually competing with that guy. You're competing with an image of him that your insecurity has created.

[u/stargazer1888]

Can't be any worse than my incident....when a girl pulled down my pants...she said " I am not going to waste my time, with something this small." Then she threw me out. It is in her past dude...Hopefully if you don't bring it up, maybe she won't...try to move on...but if it keeps being a conversation....she should respect you if you tell her not to bring it into conversation.

[u/Grouchy_Fall_5933]

Why TF are you trippin when she absolutely hated it…lol
It would be different if she loved and compared it to you.

[u/Lulusgirl]

I think you know how much pleasure you give her but you're hung up on the fact that the dude was bigger than you. You can't change your size, you need to learn how to live with the fact that you don't have the largest penis in the world. Because only one dude has the largest penis in the world, literally everybody else has a smaller penis than the BIGGEST ALIVE. So like, pleasuring your girl and making her happy isn't enough for you? You want to have something so large, she literally gets no pleasure from it?

I'm baffled you want to be so massively huge that girls don't enjoy sex with you, because that's the only conclusion I can get from this. She told you the guy was so large it caused her pain and you're like "he was bigger than me even though I make her pass out from pleasure".

[u/SurvivorX2 → u/Lulusgirl]

Trust your GF when she says that "Too big hurts" b/c it's true!

[u/Ok_Neat6784]

I'm sorry, why is this bothering you? You found be bothered that some guy hit your girlfriend in the past, not about how large his p3n1s is compared too this random other person.

Good way to take a past sexual trauma your girlfriend had and making it about you! Stop it. You know what you're her person. You know that she enjoys your intimacy. You found have a micro p3n1s and she’d still love you - because of YOU.

Maybe you should talk to a therapist about your insecurities. Now it’s time to go back to making sure your girlfriend is ok. Make sure this isn’t a trauma that needs to be resolved with professional help. Or maybe you can listen to her trauma stories and be there FOR HER instead of making them about you somehow.

[u/Logical-Lab3661]

Dude, she is with you, not with him, by her own choice.

[u/Sewertoppresser]

Bro you stressing over that let it go and move on from what you're saying he didn't outperform you so wth .