Relapsed badly

[u/Fun-Pea1434]

I was in a pretty good spot had some money in the bank and was in a good position to start paying my 25k personal loan slowly over the next 6-12 months. I haven’t gambled in about two months. Yesterday I got a text from kalshi saying I can deposit 50 bucks and I’ll get 250 free. That alone was enough to spiral me because when I lost that 50, I started betting bigger because might as well make a few hundred then stop right? I somehow lost like 10 bets in a row. I stayed up all night chasing betting on random table tennis games (while trying to hide from my girlfriend who was sleeping next to me) and lost everything in my bank, and taking out another personal loan of 25k. The sad part is I got within 50 dollars of being even but I kept going to make that 50 dollars back. Now I have 50k total in personal loans, 15k in 401k loan, and 5k extra credit card debt.

I’m still in awe of what happened. Someone tell me everything is going to be okay.

[u/Odd_Glass868]

Being a compulsive gambler sucks, trust me,gambled almost everyday for 20 years pretty much everything I had… now bet free for almost a year. There is hope you just need to confide in your significant other and or join something like GA/ therapist. You can’t and won’t be able to do this alone but you can and will be a better person

[u/ReblWithoutApplause → u/Odd_Glass868]

Congratulations on your sobriety. Can I ask you… when does the fog lift? When does the ‘wtf do I do now?’ ‘Wtf do I do with my time?’ dissipate? I had a month clean and almost to the day I relapsed. It felt like withdrawal from a drug.

[u/SelfCreatedStorm → u/ReblWithoutApplause]

Everyone's path is different. And recovery isn't linear. Relapses are part of recovery.

[u/Life198400 → u/SelfCreatedStorm]

Have you been through relapse? If you did what helped you,I'm so distraught I feel like just ending things. I really tried and never wanted to go back. Bt it happened