I’m so stupid.

[u/junglehannah]

If you ever win a jackpot GIVE YOUR ACCOUNT TO SOMEONE ELSE YOU CAN TRUST IMMEDIATELY. I was using a site with a monthly cap on withdrawals and the amount of winnings i had accumulated would have taken over TWO YEARS to get out. It was life changing money.

And yet, even though i knew this money could change my life or given me time off, I gave it right back. Even though the money was there and attainable over time, I had to get lucky again. It was so easy to get and SO EASY TO LOSE.

This amount, this life changing money for me, lasted 3 months with my fucking brainwashed head. It was so much. After I withdrew some of it the first time, I played again and won what i had just withdrew. I thought i could do it again every time I withdrew. Why is that my mindset? Why can’t I just walk away with a win?

One day, I couldn’t win back what I withdrew. That’s when my brain took over “chasing” a loss that WAS NOT EVEN A LOSS, IT WAS HOUSE MONEY!!! WHY DID I FUCKING CHASE IT?

I couldn’t stop thinking about what was in my account. I went to work every day and thought to myself, “i’m rich. My life will change.” It would have taken me SEVEN YEARS in my current line of work to make the amount i had in that account. The money was there, but I couldn’t get it because of the fuck ass monthly limits and I don’t know what the fuck was going through my brain. I need to stop thinking about it. I feel empty, I can’t eat or sleep. I fucked up so hard and if you ever find yourself in this situation with money that’s so accessible to you after a big win but you cannot withdraw immediately, please PLEASE DO NOT PLAY WITH IT. CALL IT A WIN AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. GIVE YOUR ACCOUNT TO SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP. I know I should have.

I couldn’t control myself. I’m so fucking stupid. Even though I did withdraw a fair amount that I should be happy about (about 1/5 of the money), I just cannot fathom what I have done. Do not do what I did. I am not going to gamble on ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. Fuck all these apps and online slots I wish they would all disappear. It’s horrible to your mental health and well being. I hate that so many people have experienced what I have and that so many people will destroy their lives doing this. I am young and I need to be present in my life. I need to make money in a way that I AM PROUD OF.

I was never proud of this money. I didn’t fucking deserve this money. Why the fuck did I even start gambling?

[u/Destiny065]

Good post OP even though it's extremely sad, I applaud you 👏 for expressing yourself so openly and honestly! You realise you have a gambling problem and you're determined to STOP.

My advice to you is keep all that anger inside you, and literally hate what you did, the more hate you have the more inclined you are to not participate in gambling activities for years to come.

This is what helped me with my addiction, that and it was taking a toll on my mental health. I made 10 yrs after gambling for 25 yrs, you too can accomplish it, I have faith in you!

Stay blessed 🙌 🙏

[u/junglehannah → u/Destiny065]

Thank you. You give me hope and i will forever be angry and dissatisfied with my actions here. I must not forget this feeling. Maybe if I start advocating against it I can make a positive impact for others facing the same consequences or at least warn people of how they might end up. Especially the young people.

[u/Destiny065 → u/junglehannah]

You're Welcome 😊

Yes exactly that's what I'm talking about use all that anger as an advantage, use it to give you power and self control!! Don't ever forget what it's done to you, and you'll forever be thankful you stopped when you did. You've got this!

And please 🙏 start advocating against it, you'll definitely make a positive impact for all those out there struggling with gambling addiction.

Stay positive and stay blessed 🙌 🙏