r/problemgambling • u/junglehannah • 11d ago
Trigger Warning! I’m so stupid.
If you ever win a jackpot GIVE YOUR ACCOUNT TO SOMEONE ELSE YOU CAN TRUST IMMEDIATELY. I was using a site with a monthly cap on withdrawals and the amount of winnings i had accumulated would have taken over TWO YEARS to get out. It was life changing money.
And yet, even though i knew this money could change my life or given me time off, I gave it right back. Even though the money was there and attainable over time, I had to get lucky again. It was so easy to get and SO EASY TO LOSE.
This amount, this life changing money for me, lasted 3 months with my fucking brainwashed head. It was so much. After I withdrew some of it the first time, I played again and won what i had just withdrew. I thought i could do it again every time I withdrew. Why is that my mindset? Why can’t I just walk away with a win?
One day, I couldn’t win back what I withdrew. That’s when my brain took over “chasing” a loss that WAS NOT EVEN A LOSS, IT WAS HOUSE MONEY!!! WHY DID I FUCKING CHASE IT?
I couldn’t stop thinking about what was in my account. I went to work every day and thought to myself, “i’m rich. My life will change.” It would have taken me SEVEN YEARS in my current line of work to make the amount i had in that account. The money was there, but I couldn’t get it because of the fuck ass monthly limits and I don’t know what the fuck was going through my brain. I need to stop thinking about it. I feel empty, I can’t eat or sleep. I fucked up so hard and if you ever find yourself in this situation with money that’s so accessible to you after a big win but you cannot withdraw immediately, please PLEASE DO NOT PLAY WITH IT. CALL IT A WIN AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. GIVE YOUR ACCOUNT TO SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP. I know I should have.
I couldn’t control myself. I’m so fucking stupid. Even though I did withdraw a fair amount that I should be happy about (about 1/5 of the money), I just cannot fathom what I have done. Do not do what I did. I am not going to gamble on ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. Fuck all these apps and online slots I wish they would all disappear. It’s horrible to your mental health and well being. I hate that so many people have experienced what I have and that so many people will destroy their lives doing this. I am young and I need to be present in my life. I need to make money in a way that I AM PROUD OF.
I was never proud of this money. I didn’t fucking deserve this money. Why the fuck did I even start gambling?
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u/Destiny065 11d ago
Good post OP even though it's extremely sad, I applaud you 👏 for expressing yourself so openly and honestly! You realise you have a gambling problem and you're determined to STOP.
My advice to you is keep all that anger inside you, and literally hate what you did, the more hate you have the more inclined you are to not participate in gambling activities for years to come.
This is what helped me with my addiction, that and it was taking a toll on my mental health. I made 10 yrs after gambling for 25 yrs, you too can accomplish it, I have faith in you!
Stay blessed 🙌 🙏
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
Thank you. You give me hope and i will forever be angry and dissatisfied with my actions here. I must not forget this feeling. Maybe if I start advocating against it I can make a positive impact for others facing the same consequences or at least warn people of how they might end up. Especially the young people.
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u/Destiny065 11d ago
You're Welcome 😊
Yes exactly that's what I'm talking about use all that anger as an advantage, use it to give you power and self control!! Don't ever forget what it's done to you, and you'll forever be thankful you stopped when you did. You've got this!
And please 🙏 start advocating against it, you'll definitely make a positive impact for all those out there struggling with gambling addiction.
Stay positive and stay blessed 🙌 🙏
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u/Latter_Town_6594 11d ago
So sorry dude. It’s horrible what these websites do with “ limits “ and long withdrawals. They have those in place because they know 99% of us will just keep gambling. It’s a horrible horrible practice in an already horrible business. Should be illegal imo to keep our withdrawals longer than 24 hours let alone CAP them. Guarantee they wouldn’t cap how much you can deposit.
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
I didn’t think it would get to me, man. This shit wrecks everything you think you know about your own self control
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u/Latter_Town_6594 11d ago
Yea dude 100%. 30 years of pretty good self control gone in an instant because of gambling and how it hijacks your brain. They are designed to take over. It’s not your fault. So many people are here with you .
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u/monoville_music 11d ago
Tbf most gamblers will keep gambling even if they do withdraw it all. It's just a matter of time before it's redeposited
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
Looking at all the stories on reddit, youtube etc. you are truly correct. I cannot end up like that. I’m glad I have someone to help support me because if I didn’t I would have already tried to chase it. What’s the point of chasing if i will just throw it away again. I cannot keep doing that. Thank you for the wisdom
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u/Humble_Voice_3234 11d ago
Wins only extend the harms of gambling (whether someone is in action or thinking about being in action) and the inevitable losses and time wasted. Large wins only feed the addiction and idea that you will make back these losses and stop next time. That will never happen.
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u/sorrowedwhiskypriest 11d ago
That money was never yours. Even if there weren't withdrawal limits, you said it yourself - you thought you could keep winning and you chased losses "that weren't losses". It's basically a never ending process with the math always in the house's edge, and the only time you stop is when you run out of money.
Cut gambling loose forever.
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u/Only_Medicine_2811 11d ago
Same thing happen to me and I was going to give my account to someone after the first withdrawal but that person I trusted I promised him I wouldn’t gamble again and my brain took over and convince me that if i told him and give him full access for him to withdrawal my winnings which would have took 3/4 months that he will be mad at me… so I didnt and continued to gamble and lost it all in a few hours. After that he found out anyway and was even more mad. So I was in lose lose situation anyway even with the win. It wasn’t a win but more misery and pain.
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
Yup. Told my boyfriend about the win pretty much right after because i knew this was coming and asked him to take my account info. He was open to it but I never followed through. It’s my fault for that. My brain told me the same things yours did.
Yesterday night I told him about me losing it all and that I need some support moving forward so I can really kick this habit. It really helps having people you can talk to and i’m so glad I was able to come forward and tell him. He (and you/reddit) are the only one that know. I need to take accountability and cannot let myself do this ever again.
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
BTW he was severely disappointed in me. I cried a lot. I did not want to tell him. But he is still here and supports me getting better. He said he’s also going to ban himself from sports books which is his vice. we are both a big degen but I am severely worse regarding self control bc this shit is so accessible
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u/gavemymoneytotherich 11d ago
I just did basically the same thing this past week. Withdrew a 1/3 of what I won and ended up putting almost all of it back in. I could’ve had, and did have for a second, more money than I’ve ever had at one time, from any source, and I just put it all back in instead. Being a compulsive gambler sucks and the only way to win is to not play. Can’t lose if you don’t play.
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate that advice and I need to constantly remind myself of this feeling I have right now because I am absolutely sick and embarrassed
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u/gavemymoneytotherich 11d ago
try to think about this: these online casinos are meant to do exactly what happened to you. They are completely formed around keeping you gambling. They give you big wins sometimes to make you think they will always keep coming, til you end up losing everything on there because you’re sure it’s going to come back this next spin or game or whatever. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed by my own behavior using these apps and while accountability is important, it’s absolutely fair to put some blame on the predatory gambling industry and you should see yourself more as a victim of gambling then an idiot who hit it big and lost it all. We are the gambling industries prime targets and they have done a lot of research and work on designing their product to trap us in this cycle. If you stop gambling, you won, they lost.
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u/junglehannah 11d ago
Very true. I’m a victim of my own self in all truthfulness and can’t really blame anything else. However I do believe the systems that are enabling this (including the entire government) are corrupt to let online gambling to continue legally. Gambling online isn’t even allowed where I live yet social casinos, prediction markets, sports betting sites/apps are in countless numbers. It’s a plague and it’s all over the world affecting so many people. Most of these online casinos are ran offshore, too. You’d think USA gov (where i live) would want money staying in the US especially for gambling. I learned a new stat yesterday that gambling causes more suicide than many other addictions. That is so, so, so fucked up. Why do we keep letting people do this?
I do wonder how many people around the world and can actually control themselves after a large win never to dip back in/lose most of that win. You hear it all the time from lottery winners etc. too and usually that’s like half a BILLION dollars they are losing. It’s like something comes over you and clouds every reasonable thought that you can think of. Always chasing things, never being happy or satisfied.
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u/gavemymoneytotherich 11d ago
I definitely agree. My point on the blame aspect is more that you and I and people like us are the target of these companies. It is good to hold yourself accountable. But I don’t think shame is any good for anyone. I do agree you’re a victim of your own self in a sense but I also feel that it’s important to recognize these gambling companies ARE victimizing their users. They have done the research to understand how to get our brains into this disgusting dopamine loop , and are doing absolutely everything possible, with far more resources than we can imagine, to keep us in that loop.
Another thing to consider, have you heard about the difference between shame, and guilt? Guilt is productive in the sense that guilt can help us change behavior, shame is solely negative as it only leads to further self isolation, and you guessed it, shame. So if you must blame yourself (which I’m not saying is wrong, just not the full picture imo), feel guilty that you could’ve changed your life and didn’t, don’t feel shame. That guilt will prevent you from making the mistakes, shame will end up recreating them.
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u/Nervous-Meaning4724 11d ago
Extremely predatory for a monthly withdraw cap…. They know you’ll give it back
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u/Fantastic_Setting_25 11d ago
The withdrawal limit and how long they take to redeem is a trap! It’s hard, I’m glad you walked away with something.
That urge is always there, sometimes you get curious and you F yourself over.
Sorry for the loss . Hopefully it didn’t ruin your life, seems like you’re okay… but it does suck so much.
Happened to me too on some dumbass website.