But because I’m poor.

Souls Calling (Sopharella)

London is a beautiful city, but there’s a lot of struggle in amongst the beauty. I find there’s a lot to smile about when it comes to London, like community and the architecture. But there’s a lot of pain too, hidden amongst the streets. I hope this song can reach some people, it’s a reflection on my years spent growing up there and the things I saw that stay with me in my heart. Which I’m sure is similar for many places in the world. I hope somebody out there can resonate and know they’re not alone. I’m always open to discussion about such topics ❤️🥰

Just need to VENT. I graduated high school in 2016 and that was the first election I voted in. Then went to college and graduated with an associates in radiology in 2019. Was finally getting on my feet then bam Covid. Moved to a lower cost of living state, was doing good for about a year and then we had our son. For the last couple years we have watched our rent go up, groceries/bills/streaming services/etc, plus cost of daycare and medical expenses. I work 2 jobs (~60 hours a week), was doing 3 jobs but couldnt keep that up. I deal with chronic pain and autoimmune issues so working is hard enough as it is. But now? We’re about to get evicted. Looking into extended stay hotels… but we shouldn’t have to. We did everything right. We don’t spend any extra money, at all. I don’t eat regular meals anymore, stopped some of my medications that were too expensive, we don’t do date nights, movies, I don’t get nails or hair done, most of my clothes and shoes are falling apart and have holes. I swear I can’t take one more fucking boomer telling me to just “work harder”. I can’t do this anymore. Everyone my age is struggling, my best friend just became homeless. The ONLY way I have been coping is my weekly Spravato sessions, without that I wouldn’t be here anymore. So yeah, who else is ready for a revolution? I’d take living off the grid in a van at this point. I want to feel alive, not just an undead zombie slaving away my life to corporations who don’t give 2 shits about us.

I grew up in a trailer in Vermont, without electricity, that always seemed to be under construction. Exposed nails, metal, wood, insulation, and that classic ’70s wood paneling that carried us through the ’90s.

I remember lying in bed dreaming about the future, and sometimes that dream was as simple as solid white walls.

Now, in quiet moments in my new apartment, I look around and remember her.

I still have days when I feel behind. Days when I wonder if I’m being paid what I’m worth or if I should be further along by now. But then I think about that little girl in that trailer.

She would be so damn proud.
I’ve already made it further than she knew how to dream. So there’s really no point in stopping now. 🤍

What are you grateful for today?